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Melissa
  • Female
  • Riverside, CA
  • United States
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Melissa's Friends

  • hamm4d
  • nayajivan
  • dcube
  • GracieB
  • Barb2017
  • Mich2018
  • ForeverMourning
  • Senecagirl
  • Mike
  • Tess
  • shelley
  • Carmen513
  • Gunnerx2 (Carol)
  • ShirleyB
  • Tjtango
 

Melissa's Page

Latest Activity

Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"nayajivan, sometimes the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that if I died, especially by my own hand, my children would feel the same grief we are feeling now. I can't do that to them. Please try to take care of yourself and find…"
Wednesday
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Senecagirl, I eat a lot of take-out and frozen pizza. I only do what is absolutely necessary, which is take care of the dogs and go to lawyer and doctor appointments. I haven't gone anyplace fun because I don't have anyone to go with. My…"
Tuesday
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Tjtango, I know that feeling exactly. "
Tuesday
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on Melissa's blog post Home Alone
"It is funny that you have mentioned routine and I just complained about routine coming back a bit after 5 months only to find I am missing half of the routine's members.  I work and have only missed 8 days since my wife died that…"
Tuesday
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Shelley, yes. I feel the same about 'The Year of Magical Thinking'. When the person who has been an extension of your own body for decades is suddenly gone, at the time you most need to be held, is for me the cruelest part of this ongoing…"
Monday
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"NancyD, I'm going to Camp Widow in San Diego as well. I look forward to meeting you! I never thought I would be attending anything that had "Widow" in the title, but I think it's going to be very helpful and comforting."
Monday
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"irishlady, I will hold you in my thoughts until midnight. You're not alone."
Apr 13
Melissa commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Shelley, it's been just five months since my husband passed away. I kind of feel as if I'm getting worse. I think reality is starting to sink in. He's not coming back. Ever. I miss him terribly, but I'm also very frightened. We…"
Apr 12
ElsieK commented on Melissa's blog post Home Alone
"Melissa. I resonate with your feelings of losing your old self. 6 months since I lost my husband, and I just feel like I'm not bouncing back as quickly as I would liked.. Have dealt with a few setbacks over the years, and have always had the…"
Apr 10
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Melissa's blog post Home Alone
"Try to arrive at camp early to give yourself some time to regroup just in case grief over rules your desires. Regardless of the closeness of a venture, I arrived hyper or confused or drained of energy - sometimes I tried to cancel out at the last…"
Apr 10
Melissa replied to Miket's discussion As I Sit in Heaven in the group Widowed in 2016
"That's beautiful, and I'm crying. Good crying. Thank you so much for sharing it with us."
Apr 9
Rainy (Misty) commented on Melissa's blog post Home Alone
"Melissa you literally wrote a day in MY life!  Right down to the frosting.  For real!  I'm glad you signed up to go to Camp Widow.  I went to Tampa and it was a unique experience.   I was comfortable from the…"
Apr 6
Melissa commented on Melissa's blog post Home Alone
"Thank you so much Rainy, Maria Louisa, bayoured, and SweetMelissa. Everything you've written here has been so comforting and helpful. Knowing you all are around is a blessing. SweetMelissa, it's so funny that you mentioned the time limit…"
Apr 6
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Melissa's blog post Home Alone
"Transition is not comfortable - its a far departure from who you were. However, the good news is you get to try out many things as well those you planned. We widowed develop over the course of time w/little or no effort. My mind always seemed to be…"
Apr 6
Susan left a comment for Melissa
"Hi Melissa,    I feel like I have learned way too much about glioblastoma, medicines, tests, etc.    I hope you are coping well. On Dec. 7... It will be 2 years. Susan"
Apr 6
bayoured commented on Melissa's blog post Home Alone
"I believe all of us feel the same as you do. It will be 5 months for me on the 9th of April. I have other factors other than grief to deal with as many widowed people do. I will have a better day when I feel I can start to live again and then bam…"
Apr 6

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Melissa's Blog

Home Alone

Posted on April 5, 2018 at 11:22am 9 Comments

Gilbert died five months ago, and I'm beginning to realize that the Old Melissa died with him. Now I have to invent the New Melissa or allow her to surface; I'm not sure how it works.

It's so odd to suddenly not have a routine. I don't have to wear ear buds if I want to listen to music in bed late at night. The dog doesn't mind if it's noisy at 2:00 am. I can eat dinner at three in the afternoon or midnight and nobody cares. I don't have to cook for anybody…

Continue

Just One Phone Call

Posted on March 26, 2018 at 7:38pm 17 Comments

Nobody but someone in this situation would understand what I'm about to share. 

I feel crazy, but grief is crazy sometimes. My husband has been dead for almost five months, but I need to call him. I have something important to tell him.

It's related to something in the news that we talked about and followed, and I know he'd really…

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Comment Wall (7 comments)

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At 6:53am on April 6, 2018, Susan said…

Hi Melissa,

   I feel like I have learned way too much about glioblastoma, medicines, tests, etc.

   I hope you are coping well. On Dec. 7... It will be 2 years.

Susan

At 8:42pm on April 2, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  Thanks for the idea of EMDR.   Regarding your phone call wish...my son texted his dad several times (on Tom's cell which was active for a few months since he had all of his business contacts on it) and I text him on my phone.  Of course, I write him too but the most powerful thing that I did in my grief support group was write him when I was worried about the kids etc. and then have HIM write back.  It was like I was "channeling" him...

At 11:18pm on March 9, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  I don't know if I can do this. In many ways I felt like I was doing better the first year but I think I was in shock.  I put on my "mask" for the people around me.  I had a life and a future to look forward to.  I have friends who care about me but I feel numb and flat.  I want to feel grateful and appreciate the world around me but I really am just faking it.  I can hardly stay awake and i force myself to stay in the moment.  It's hard to understand the purpose of anything.  I know there are people out there who have nothing and I should feel grateful for what I do have but I can't shake this fog I'm in.   

At 10:28pm on March 7, 2018, going.on.slowly said…

Hi Melissa.  The photos of your husband are lovely.  He looks like a kind and gentle soul.  And the dog looks a lot like ours too:) Kindest Regards, Barb (going.on.slowly)

At 10:40am on February 20, 2018, ForeverMourning said…

Hi Melissa,
Thanks for the kind words.  I am so glad I found this site. :)

At 3:22pm on January 17, 2018, Carmen513 said…

Hi Melissa,

Thanks for the add friend. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious soulmate and husband Gilbert.

This whole grief thing is quite surreal. It has been 6 mths since my Bobby left now,and I guess Im coping better, but if Im being honest Im pretty pissed too.

So many times ,day or night I long to talk to him like we used too, and all I hear is my own thoughts or feel an emptiness..

I feel married but flying solo. Bat shit crazy.

Smiles and hugs for miles Melissa, You and Gilbert are in my thoughts x

At 7:24pm on January 14, 2018, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, Melissa. I'm so sorry for your loss, but pleased you found us. You’ll find caring support and friendship here.

Join the Groups that fit you to find others that share your experience. Check out the Forum Discussions and Chat Room for conversations on all sorts of topics. Share your story. You'll find the latest news on the HOME page.

 
 
 

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