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Melissa
  • Pittsburg, CA
  • United States
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  • judy

Melissa's Discussions

Safe Holiday Movies?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Dee1960 yesterday. 5 Replies

My family has a tradition of watching a holiday movie at this time of year. For obvious reasons, I don't want to watch anything focused on romance. And maybe not something that's so classic I've seen…Continue

Tags: request, movies, holidays

Support we need vs get

Started this discussion. Last reply by Elizabeth 18 hours ago. 11 Replies

Has anyone else had the experience of having someone in their life Really Most Sincerely Want To Help...but only if they can help the way they think you should want/need? I'm finding that I have a…Continue

Pagan and Widowed?

Started this discussion. Last reply by NoLongerInBergenJC Oct 10. 1 Reply

Wondering if there are other folks on here who are neo-pagan or something similar? Samhain (the holiday that's a precursor to Halloween) is coming up, and it's all about celebrating the ancestors and…Continue

Dreams

Started this discussion. Last reply by Melissa Sep 25. 5 Replies

The ones where I know something is wrong, or even that my beloved Skip is dead are bad. In the first few days after his death, I had one whopper of a night where I dreamed that I was frantically…Continue

 

Melissa's Page

Latest Activity

Elizabeth replied to Melissa's discussion Support we need vs get
"I found that grief support groups were so helpful for me. Nobody gets us, like others that have gone through it."
18 hours ago
CvilleSarah replied to Melissa's discussion Holiday Plans in the group Widowed in 2019
"Yeah, I was also thinking I would like to make time to celebrate with his family. It’s nice to be around people (his parents, brothers, etc.) that are constantly talking about him and remembering him and all that. That feels more natural right…"
19 hours ago
Dee1960 replied to Melissa's discussion Safe Holiday Movies?
"Also check out A Christmas Story 2 -- the sequel -- if you saw the old one, this one has the boy, as an adult, going back remembering ... it's also good."
yesterday
Erika replied to Melissa's discussion Holiday Plans in the group Widowed in 2019
"This will be my first Christmas without my husband. He passed away suddenly in his sleep april 29, 2019. I miss him so much. I am in one on one therapy and doing whatever i can to help myself heal. I have lots of family support and good friends.…"
yesterday
Bobbysgirl replied to Melissa's discussion Support we need vs get
"Melissa I used to get upset when people who I knew well suggested I move on. I no longer let it upset me. I realize they mean well, they really do not understand. Bob and I traveled and I do continue to travel solo. Of course it is not the same. At…"
yesterday
Melissa replied to Melissa's discussion Safe Holiday Movies?
"Thanks for the ideas! I'll poke around some and see what might suit my family, too."
Wednesday
Melissa replied to Melissa's discussion Support we need vs get
"I'm lucky in that several of the people I'm closest to know what's up with grief and good support. Of course, I'm still in the first year- who knows what things will look like in a few years. I can't imagine how I will…"
Wednesday
Dee1960 replied to Melissa's discussion Safe Holiday Movies?
"Check out "The Man Who Invented Christmas" -- newly released last year. Story of how Charles Dickens wrote The Christmas Carol.... good luck!"
Wednesday
Dee1960 replied to Melissa's discussion Safe Holiday Movies?
"My favorites, as a widow, with no children, are: It's A Wonderful Life (I know that's a classic) but worth watching again -- A Christmas Story (another not as old classic) but love it -- Gremlins (people really don't think of that as…"
Monday
Etchtech replied to Melissa's discussion Support we need vs get
"Support group? I wish! I only received the PC version of support. Just what people felt was necessary in times like this. The I’m so sorry and let me know what I can do dried up fast. I had to take care of everything on my own while dealing…"
Nov 27
Bobbysgirl replied to Melissa's discussion Support we need vs get
"I agree with you. I have found even the most caring people do not understand. Bob has been gone over 6 years and I still feel the pain, but I don’t share these feelings with anyone else. Some people have suggested that I should move on and try…"
Nov 26
NoLongerInBergenJC replied to Melissa's discussion Support we need vs get
"Sometimes it's hard for us to articulate what we need.  If our friends are people who have not experienced loss, we can't expect them to somehow intuit what we need.  Obviously the thing for them to do is say "What do you…"
Nov 26
Melissa replied to Melissa's discussion Holiday Plans in the group Widowed in 2019
"I'm thinking of burning a candle this holiday, too. No tree or decorations, I think. I'm going to the big family stuff, but for less time, and with the knowledge that I may opt out at any moment. We don't have kids (by choice), and…"
Nov 24
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Melissa's discussion Holiday Plans in the group Widowed in 2019
"(((HUGS))) First holidays are rough - no 2 ways about it ... However, I found to make the day of the holiday be fairly pleasant was to grieve days in advance ... I'd go in my walk-in closet out of hearing range of the kids to look at our…"
Nov 23
AandC replied to Melissa's discussion Holiday Plans in the group Widowed in 2019
"This post brings back the pain of knowing that I cannot share and laugh and love with my husband for the first holiday since he passed in July.  I too have decided to not join the normal celebration of our large family getting together for a…"
Nov 22
CvilleSarah replied to Melissa's discussion Holiday Plans in the group Widowed in 2019
"My first holiday season also. I went to a “Holiday Planning” workshop last week put on by a local hospice agency. They pretty much encouraged us to be patient with ourselves, and whatever traditions or whatever you want to nix…"
Nov 21

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I'm genderqueer, and my pronouns are ze/zir/zir. I'm polyamorous, with two living partners. The relationship in which I am widowed is my primary relationship- roughly equivalent for me to being married. I am also pagan, which has shaped a lot of my beliefs about death and grieving.

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At 2:40pm on June 3, 2019, judy said…

Hi Melissa,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

 
 
 

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