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Melissa
  • Pittsburg, CA
  • United States
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Melissa's Discussions

Loneliness

Started this discussion. Last reply by chef (John) yesterday. 9 Replies

So, I have to admit, this isn't something I thought I'd be dealing with. I foolishly thought, well, I'm not quite your "average" widowed person- though I know now that such a thing doesn't really…Continue

 

Melissa's Page

Latest Activity

chef (John) replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"I rarely talk to the urn anymore, but I do walk through the house at times, saying things along the lines of, "Y'know, things would be a whole lot easier if you hadn't gone and died."--particularly when I'm dealing with some…"
yesterday
Timelord replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"Same here.  I am facing the empty house syndrome beginning tomorrow - daughter is going back to school.  No idea what I'll do when she's out of school.  This is her last year,."
yesterday
mylove4ever81 replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"I feel the same. especially coming home at night as that would be the time I would talk the most to my husband. Now I talk to his urn sometimes I feel better afterwards and other times I don’t but just end up crying. I wish we could have just…"
yesterday
Dee1960 replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"Wow, Melissa, you did say it all! And good for you, get it out!  You are not nuts, just going through grief -- and it's only been six months. Geez-us -- at six months, I could barely get out bed.... the only people who understand are…"
Monday
Melissa replied to Jill's discussion A hard question but do you have any regrets about your behavior during your marriage?
"Yes, of course. I'm human, I make mistakes all the time. I have things my partner did or said that hurt too. I'm actually planning a little ritual for myself next spring, reflecting on the healing nature of forgiveness. I'll think…"
Monday
Melissa replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"A roommate or not isn't really a choice for me- we don't own this home, so my choices are get a roommate to help with finances or move. Most likely, that would be move AND have to find a roommate. I work M-F, and can't really imagine…"
Monday
chef (John) replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"I miss the conversations, glances and doing things together--even the mundane daily tasks like food prep/cooking and yard work. I miss the mental stimulation of conversation and the sense of humor we shared. Memory can be a blessing or a curse,…"
Aug 14
Dee1960 replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"I get it, it's lonely -- how long has it been since your partner passed?  Mine, over 4 years ago, and still lonely. I have no magic wand to wave ... wish I did. I do have a dog and cat, so not an empty house, and that does help....of…"
Aug 13
barbee replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"A time I hated was coming home to a silent house after being gone all day.  I started leaving a radio on so there was a bit of noise. Then I rescued a cat from the shelter. She'd run to the door and meow and wow! What a difference that…"
Aug 13
Timelord replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"Hi - I know what you mean - at least as much as another person can know... My son lives about 3 hours away with his (very serious) GF, and daughter is going back to her last year of college (about 2 hrs away)...I also just moved about 3 months ago…"
Aug 13
Melissa replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion US: WEST - PACIFIC in the group Connect with others in your area
"I'm Melissa, in the far east part of the Bay Area. I went to our local regional group one month, but it doesn't work with my schedule for most of the year, sadly... really nice folks, though."
Aug 13
Melissa posted a discussion

Loneliness

So, I have to admit, this isn't something I thought I'd be dealing with. I foolishly thought, well, I'm not quite your "average" widowed person- though I know now that such a thing doesn't really exist.But my partner was like no one else. We were closest to each other, our relationship was most like spouses. There are a million small things, ways he looked at me and touched me, little in-jokes, our private language, that I miss terribly. That space in my life isn't designed for anyone or…See More
Aug 13
Melissa replied to Mrs.Linda's discussion Some Days are Just Sad Days
"I started to write "The worst days are the ones where I'm busy because I have so much that has to get done, but am so full of sadness..." but then I think that's not true. The worst days are probably the ones where I feel…"
Aug 13
Melissa replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Does anyone actively journal?
"Not at all. It's been healing for me to link the two, sort of a "this is one way I'm continuing my connection with my partner.""
Jun 6
Telynn replied to Melissa's discussion Where To Live in the group Widowed in 2019
"It is a scary time.  There are so many what ifs and things to worry about that you could never have planned for.  Try to take one day at a time.  The future is too broad and no one knows what it will hold.  If you just…"
Jun 4
Melissa replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Does anyone actively journal?
"I've journaled on and off over the years. I decided to turn the remaining pages of the guest book from my partner's memorial into a grief & healing journal. Yes, sometimes they are letters, or at least I'm writing to Skip. Other…"
Jun 4

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I'm genderqueer, and my pronouns are ze/zir/zir. I'm polyamorous, with two living partners. The relationship in which I am widowed is my primary relationship- roughly equivalent for me to being married. I am also pagan, which has shaped a lot of my beliefs about death and grieving.

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At 2:40pm on June 3, 2019, judy said…

Hi Melissa,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

 
 
 

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