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Melissa
  • Pittsburg, CA
  • United States
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Melissa's Discussions

Pagan and Widowed?

Started this discussion. Last reply by NoLongerInBergenJC on Thursday. 1 Reply

Wondering if there are other folks on here who are neo-pagan or something similar? Samhain (the holiday that's a precursor to Halloween) is coming up, and it's all about celebrating the ancestors and…Continue

Dreams

Started this discussion. Last reply by Melissa Sep 25. 5 Replies

The ones where I know something is wrong, or even that my beloved Skip is dead are bad. In the first few days after his death, I had one whopper of a night where I dreamed that I was frantically…Continue

Loneliness

Started this discussion. Last reply by Claire Sep 16. 32 Replies

So, I have to admit, this isn't something I thought I'd be dealing with. I foolishly thought, well, I'm not quite your "average" widowed person- though I know now that such a thing doesn't really…Continue

 

Melissa's Page

Latest Activity

NoLongerInBergenJC replied to Melissa's discussion Pagan and Widowed?
"Hi, Melissa....I'm kind of a loose semi-pagan and so was my husband.  Just now I smelled cigarette smoke in the house (I don't smoke) which means that he was here.  I also dream about him more this time of year. I don't do…"
Thursday
Melissa posted a discussion

Pagan and Widowed?

Wondering if there are other folks on here who are neo-pagan or something similar? Samhain (the holiday that's a precursor to Halloween) is coming up, and it's all about celebrating the ancestors and the beloved dead. This will be my first year without Skip. Unsurprisingly, I'm not looking forward to it.If you're pagan, how have you/are you planning on coping with Samhain?If you're not pagan, how have you handled other special days?See More
Oct 6
Melissa replied to Rich's discussion How long have you been on the Widowed Village forums?
"I'm just over 6 months out from Skip's death, and think I've been on here for about five of those months? I generally drop by at least once a week, more if I'm having hard days. Yesterday, I did the last of the "estate"…"
Oct 6
Melissa replied to Claire's discussion Dining Out
"I take a good book with me when I go out. It's good to have little things we do for ourselves that help us feel, well, closer to normal at least."
Sep 29
Melissa replied to Justme's discussion Lack of Chill
"Totally normal. I've been there. My whole system responds to any surprises now as though, you know...DEATH. I'm primed for the worse. It's calmed down a bit for me as time goes on, so there's that. Like you, I'm usually…"
Sep 29
Melissa replied to Rich's discussion Ever awake at 2:45 in the morning?
"Oh, yes. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and be tossing and turning, then I start thinking about him. Then there's Feelings everywhere, and I can't get back to sleep."
Sep 29
Melissa replied to Mrs Bear's discussion Having to say the "W" word
"Filling out the death certificate was the worst for me. I mean, answering questions for a minute or two at a time while others filled it out. Just soul-crushing."
Sep 25
Melissa replied to Mrs Bear's discussion Having to say the "W" word
"Yeah, that's a hard one. I talked with several people close to me to help figure out who it made most sense to put now. I think my criteria ended up being "Who would be most likely to get this call first/quickly?" and "Who can…"
Sep 25
Melissa replied to Melissa's discussion Dreams
"Yes, exactly that. I had one a few nights ago where Skip was running ahead of me, and I kept shouting for him to stop, to wait up, but he didn't. Yes, brain, I get it- he's gone ahead of me."
Sep 25
Mary H replied to Melissa's discussion Dreams
"I was always having those dreams too, where my husband had left me, and I kept wondering why was I having those awful dreams.  I think it was just this drumbeat of he's gone-he's gone-he's gone running through my mind all the…"
Sep 19
Justme replied to Melissa's discussion Dreams
"I've had one good dream where Michael came back and we had the BEST day. It was amazing. I keep dreaming that he's alive but left me (out of the blue- we weren't having problems). It's awful. I wake up and think, at least he…"
Sep 19
Claire replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"Melissa     I would do the same thing if I had a roommate.  "
Sep 16
Claire replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"ChaWi,     I feel the exact same way.    It's such an empty feeling  "
Sep 16
Judyrose replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"This is beautiful  and what I feel . Thanks for sharing."
Sep 11
Melissa replied to JustLynn's discussion Do you think you’ll get married again?
"Well, now, I'm in a bit of a unique position here. My partner and I weren't married, but I take your meaning. My partner and I were/are also polyamorous. I have two other significant relationships. So, actually, I never really stopped…"
Sep 11
shebert56 replied to Melissa's discussion Dreams
"I've only had one meaningful dream visit with Stephen since he transitioned August of last year. In my dream, he came and said "I can only stay one day."  No recall what we did, but then he said "It's time for me to…"
Sep 10

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I'm genderqueer, and my pronouns are ze/zir/zir. I'm polyamorous, with two living partners. The relationship in which I am widowed is my primary relationship- roughly equivalent for me to being married. I am also pagan, which has shaped a lot of my beliefs about death and grieving.

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At 2:40pm on June 3, 2019, judy said…

Hi Melissa,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

 
 
 

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