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MidnightBear (Tony)
  • Male
  • Waltham, MA
  • United States
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Latest Activity

LadyG commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Not So Subtle Reminders
"I hear you Tony. And of course we know they mean well.  It's just that their lives returned to their "normal" after your ( my ) loss, so for them it is just coming up as a reminder.  They haven't been living with the…"
3 hours ago
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Not So Subtle Reminders

I am rolling closer and closer to 1 year, and I find that more and more people are dropping hints and reminders that 1 year is right around the corner.  At first it was subtle, hey if you want to come hang out in a couple weeks, let us know.  But as the days tick on, the subtlety seems to be disappearing and folks are being more and more overt.  I am trying to be kind and not push back.  For me, so far anyway, it isn't the day that is actually worrying to me.  See for me remembering and taking…See More
8 hours ago
DIVA70 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Not Me
"I think that what you are feeling is completely normal. I am reading Its OK THAT YOURE NOT OK by Megan Devine. I recommend it. After 48 years of being identified with another person I too am grappling with what the new me is going to look like...I…"
Thursday
makemyownsunshine commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Not Me
"Thanks for writing that. I understand the missing time. I feel like I'm being industrious, and then I sit for what I plan to be a few moments and it turns into a half hour. A half hour of thinking about him. Of memories and then tears. I'm…"
Thursday
Callie2 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Not Me
"Normal  All seems normal to me anyway.  I believe that in time, a lot will come into focus. It is hard to break from routine, it becomes part of who we are. I remembered at first, I wanted to do things the way my husband did. After a…"
Oct 16
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Not Me

After this last couple weeks of recovering from hitting the end of one set of goals and really have no more set right in front of me, it started to really dawn on me that I am not myself.  But what really does that mean?  For years I would make muffins every couple weeks and we would freeze them up to warm for breakfast to go with our oatmeal.  They were about 60 calories each the way we made them, little mini breakfast muffins, but they filled out breakfast well and kept me going until my…See More
Oct 15
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Birthdays
"My birthday and my wife's are 11 days apart, but there are 2 years difference between us.  Our birthdays are coming up soon and just thinking about it has been bugging me for some time.  I know a part of my grief over it is that her…"
Oct 11
Miss Em (Emma) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The End of the Pavement
"Hi Tony, I can relate to so much of this. We were a little longer off retirement, but we were about 5 years off our kids being grown. We had talked about being itinerant for a while. Working odd jobs while we travelled. We talked about travelling…"
Oct 10
Pegasus commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The End of the Pavement
"So much of what you wrote I've done or thought about doing.  I've also got boxes and bags of my husband's papers filling up 60% of my bedroom.  Two weeks ago I pulled out some of it and spent the entire day in front of the…"
Oct 10
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

The End of the Pavement

Throughout the 27 years I was together with my wife either dating or married, we worked on setting out targets.  The targets were generally near term but we had a few longer term plans.  Many of our longer term plans were about things we were going to do together when we retired in about 7 to 9 years from now.  Trips to national parks and other countries, visiting family and generally being free to do what we wanted when we wanted.  Joining a few charities and the like.  When my wife got sick,…See More
Oct 10
chef (John) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post That feeling you forgot something!
"Nice! "
Sep 17
Tekwriter commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post That feeling you forgot something!
"I love that. I had been wearing mine and his rings on a chain also. I hope you won't mind if I steal your idea."
Sep 13
SweetMelissa2007 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post That feeling you forgot something!
"I use to forget all the time Bob-O was dead as well as thinking to myself "where is that man? What is keeping him?" I also kept forgetting I was still grieving as the many years of the natural grief process dragged on ... At 11 years out,…"
Sep 11
Miss Em (Emma) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The Missing Look
"Yesterday I bought a roll of wire. Wire - if you could see the shed and all the stuff that my hubby had you would get my surprise and frustration. But no matter how hard I looked and rummaged I could not find his roll. So I bought my own. Only cheap…"
Sep 11
Miss Em (Emma) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post That feeling you forgot something!
"I love what you did with the rings! "
Sep 11
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

That feeling you forgot something!

I am sure we have all had that feeling, you gather your things to leave for the day and you get this feeling you forgot something.   Sometimes you get to your destination only to find you really did forget something.  You forgot you lunch at home, your cell phone on your couch, or ID on your night stand.  And sometimes you never figure out what it was you thought you forgot.  I got up this morning, got dressed and had breakfast.  I made lunch and packed it into my bag.  Threw on my shoes and…See More
Sep 11

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MidnightBear (Tony)'s Blog

Not So Subtle Reminders

Posted on October 22, 2018 at 5:43pm 1 Comment

I am rolling closer and closer to 1 year, and I find that more and more people are dropping hints and reminders that 1 year is right around the corner.  At first it was subtle, hey if you want to come hang out in a couple weeks, let us know.  But as the days tick on, the subtlety seems to be disappearing and folks are being more and more overt.  I am trying to be kind and not push back.  For me, so far anyway, it isn't the day that is actually worrying to me.  See for me remembering and…

Continue

Not Me

Posted on October 15, 2018 at 11:48am 3 Comments

After this last couple weeks of recovering from hitting the end of one set of goals and really have no more set right in front of me, it started to really dawn on me that I am not myself.  But what really does that mean?  For years I would make muffins every couple weeks and we would freeze them up to warm for breakfast to go with our oatmeal.  They were about 60 calories each the way we made them, little mini breakfast muffins, but they filled out breakfast well and kept me going until my…

Continue

The End of the Pavement

Posted on October 10, 2018 at 10:29am 2 Comments

Throughout the 27 years I was together with my wife either dating or married, we worked on setting out targets.  The targets were generally near term but we had a few longer term plans.  Many of our longer term plans were about things we were going to do together when we retired in about 7 to 9 years from now.  Trips to national parks and other countries, visiting family and generally being free to do what we wanted when we wanted.  Joining a few charities and the like.  When my wife got…

Continue

That feeling you forgot something!

Posted on September 11, 2018 at 12:08pm 5 Comments

I am sure we have all had that feeling, you gather your things to leave for the day and you get this feeling you forgot something.   Sometimes you get to your destination only to find you really did forget something.  You forgot you lunch at home, your cell phone on your couch, or ID on your night stand.  And sometimes you never figure out what it was you thought you forgot.  I got up this morning, got dressed and had breakfast.  I made lunch and packed it into my bag.  Threw on my shoes and…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 6:48am on February 4, 2018, Doug02122014 said…

Hi MidnightBear (Tony),

Thanks for the friend invite.  Feel free to message me anytime and I'll do my best to get back to you  

Take care. 

Doug 

At 3:09pm on January 19, 2018, ShirleyB said…

Happy Friday, Tony.  How are you doing this evening?

At 7:04pm on November 18, 2017, judy said…

Hi MidnightBear,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

                                         

 
 
 

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