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MidnightBear (Tony)
  • Male
  • Waltham, MA
  • United States
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Latest Activity

SweetMelissa2007 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Interest
"Grief was about finding myself - discovery & exploration, trial & error. Learning coping skills to control/overcome widowbrain, excitable/driving urges such as skin hunger, excessive retail therapy, etc. Differentiate conscious from…"
yesterday
pricytapestry commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Gifts
"have felt that compulsion, bought my wife a snowman ornament for Christmas, got her a snowman of some sort almost every year. Wasn't going to, was unplanned, but knew I had to when I saw it. You're not alone and I agree it is a gift for…"
yesterday
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Gifts
"laurajay - You know it is funny, I am really ready to move forward, I have explored relationships, some didn't work out so well but I am ready to start a new chapter, but that doesn't mean I am willing to close the old one.  My wife,…"
yesterday
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Gifts

So this is going to be a bit of an odd one I think.  So I am coming up on my 25th anniversary, and I was walking with a friend through the mall.  She roamed off to buy chocolate which didn't surprise me at all :D.  I roamed over to the Lego store.  Now I hear some of you giggling, I know, weird right? Anyway, I walked in and sitting there on the self was a 50th anniversary Apollo Lander with a Lego mission patch.  I tried to turn around and walk out, and I couldn't, I tried not to do it, but I…See More
yesterday
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on Lisa_says's blog post She Loved
"I have often heard said, and have often repeated, that we grieve so hard because we loved so deeply.  It isn't easy finding our path alone now, but try to find outlets and think of new things that are interesting to you.  It…"
yesterday
Lisa_says commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Interest
"Tony, I am 6.5 months into the loss of my husband.  I'm still hanging in there day to day. What I am realizing is that I need to find my interests.  I'm still sort of numb.  I was my husbands caregiver for nine years and…"
Monday
pricytapestry commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Interest
"Tony, I am just past 8 months and not even thinking about any kind of relationships, however can relate to the rest of what you wrote, I also have found I am less interested in my job and am finding out how much of my interests weren’t really…"
Jun 12
Don commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Interest
"Tony, I'm so sorry about what happened. For me, in the last two years, it has been music. I grew up in the "Classic Rock" era and became a Blues devotee 30 years ago, but not long after Arlene passed, a friend introduced me to Jazz,…"
Jun 11
chef (John) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Interest
"There are at least two things going on here. Sorry for your relationship, Tony, but Congratulations on being able to assess things and to begin doing whatever you can to live again. Keep working at figuring out the things that interest you. I now…"
Jun 11
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Interest

So 19 months tomorrow and I am starting to come to the realization that I am not interested in the things I 'should' be doing but I am interested again.  I went through a relationship recently which was supposed to be friends and I tried to keep inside that line but my mind slipped well beyond that and when I let the emotion of that out, I scared off my friend and lost a really good friend.  It happens, the emotion of two people who lost someone very close to them colliding together clearly can…See More
Jun 11
MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"hello Jennifer.  You have found one of the right places.  People are here because we share a common experience and we find that sharing that with each other can help us.  The numbness that perhaps your therapist is thinking about is…"
Apr 25
Tess commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post When I Close My Eyes
"Beautiful."
Apr 11
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes, in the after image of the world still held there, I can catch you standing beside me. When I close my eyes, I see that sneaky little grin that told me you were about to be up to something. When I close my eyes, I see the you from before cancer decided to change your appearance but not your heart. When I close my eyes, the world seems oddly brighter and more colorful because you are there with me. When I close my eyes, I wish I never had to open them again to look at the…See More
Mar 27
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on em.pio's blog post No Title
"Soaring Spirits has multiple regional groups that may be appropriate to find people in various age ranges that share a common experience.  There is no guarantee of his age group being represented though.  Widowers tend to be less engaged…"
Mar 27
Mrs. L. commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"Interesting comments from other widows/widowers thoughts.  All of them represent me.  It's almost 3 years years.  Yes, I am lonely, but don't where to start.  I can't come to the thought of online dating and who do…"
Mar 12
alwayssmilemichele commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"First, I applaud you for your courage.  It is a different world out there even if you had dated extensively prior to your marriage.  My Bob was a young widower when I married him when I was almost 30.  I am grateful that he was…"
Mar 4

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Gifts

Posted on June 17, 2019 at 8:01pm 4 Comments

So this is going to be a bit of an odd one I think.  So I am coming up on my 25th anniversary, and I was walking with a friend through the mall.  She roamed off to buy chocolate which didn't surprise me at all :D.  I roamed over to the Lego store.  Now I hear some of you giggling, I know, weird right? Anyway, I walked in and sitting there on the self was a 50th anniversary Apollo Lander with a Lego mission patch.  I tried to turn around and walk out, and I couldn't, I tried not to do it, but…

Continue

Interest

Posted on June 11, 2019 at 7:00am 5 Comments

So 19 months tomorrow and I am starting to come to the realization that I am not interested in the things I 'should' be doing but I am interested again.  I went through a relationship recently which was supposed to be friends and I tried to keep inside that line but my mind slipped well beyond that and when I let the emotion of that out, I scared off my friend and lost a really good friend.  It happens, the emotion of two people who lost someone very close to them colliding together clearly…

Continue

When I Close My Eyes

Posted on March 27, 2019 at 2:34am 1 Comment

When I close my eyes, in the after image of the world still held there, I can catch you standing beside me. 

When I close my eyes, I see that sneaky little grin that told me you were about to be up to something. 

When I close my eyes, I see the you from before cancer decided to change your appearance but not your heart. 

When I close my eyes, the world seems oddly brighter and more colorful because you are there with me. 

When I close my eyes, I wish I never had…

Continue

Stuck

Posted on March 2, 2019 at 11:30am 4 Comments

I know so many of us are in so many ways stuck in neutral.  Holding our breath, waiting for what we have been facing to go away, but it never will.  I find myself stuck in new ways.  I decided about 2 months ago to open the chance of finding someone new to bring into my life.  To open my heart to the possibility.  So I jumped on the online dating bandwagon.  Being a computer person and also a person who worked specifically in computer security, I actually relished the random fake profile…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 6:48am on February 4, 2018, Doug02122014 said…

Hi MidnightBear (Tony),

Thanks for the friend invite.  Feel free to message me anytime and I'll do my best to get back to you  

Take care. 

Doug 

At 3:09pm on January 19, 2018, ShirleyB said…

Happy Friday, Tony.  How are you doing this evening?

At 7:04pm on November 18, 2017, judy said…

Hi MidnightBear,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

                                         

 
 
 

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