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MidnightBear (Tony)
  • Male
  • Waltham, MA
  • United States
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Latest Activity

MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion Who's going to Camp Widow Tampa 2018? Let's get acquainted!
"This is both a sad statement and a compelling one.  The fact that so many people feel compelled to go to camp is nice, but the fact that so many people need to go to camp is sad.  I did see the breakdown, surprised it is so lopsided but I…"
Thursday
MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Mike's discussion Making new friends in the group Widowed in 2017
"Not sure it is ever easy to expand your personal network after a major change.  I only have 3 months experience and I am not doing well yet.  I would definitely consider the suggestion others have shared of looking at adult education…"
Feb 15
MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Mike's discussion Dating Again? in the group Widowed in 2017
"Nice article.  I am in the camp of not quite there yet, but some day I will likely want to have someone to share time with.  I don't currently see myself getting married again, but who knows.  My father-in-law in a moment of sick…"
Feb 13
MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Mike's discussion Why did this happen? in the group Widowed in 2017
"I would honestly think if you hadn't asked why then maybe you weren't normal.  But then everyone finds their own way through this.  I know I did some soul searching right after my wife died.  Could I have questioned the…"
Feb 12
MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion Who's going to Camp Widow Tampa 2018? Let's get acquainted!
"I just modified my flight, I am not coming in at 1PM.  I wasn't really thinking when I made the later reservation.  On the plus side, I just save 2000 points on my flight because the new flight is cheaper.  "
Feb 12
MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion Who's going to Camp Widow Tampa 2018? Let's get acquainted!
"I am looking forward to spending time with some other people who understand my current level of crazy.  I think I need the escape from other people who continue to look at me like I am an alien.  I come in at 4:30 on Thursday and plan to…"
Feb 9
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a photo
Feb 7
Doug02122014 left a comment for MidnightBear (Tony)
"Hi MidnightBear (Tony), Thanks for the friend invite.  Feel free to message me anytime and I'll do my best to get back to you   Take care.  Doug "
Feb 4
Lev commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post 2 Months In - Does it really get better?
"Hi Tony. How are you?"
Jan 20
ShirleyB left a comment for MidnightBear (Tony)
"Happy Friday, Tony.  How are you doing this evening?"
Jan 19
Thankfulheart commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post I am not broken, You can not fix me
"     I understand your pain I’ve been there too. It’s like a deep wound that when the scar is the only thing left the memory of how you got it is always a reminder. Your right no one can ever replace the person you dearly…"
Jan 17
Senecagirl commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post I am not broken, You can not fix me
"I am new here and this so happens to be the first post I have read, probably because it is my husbands birthday the date you wrote this. He died dec.5 .we were together 31 years. I understand all that you wrote. I am trying to figure this all out…"
Jan 16
ShirleyB commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post 2 Months In - Does it really get better?
"Hi Tony. My name is Shirley and I am about 8 months out from losing my other half. My husband John fought cancer for 21 months and died on May 24th, 2017. I was saying to another person that I vaguely remember the first month out but when I think…"
Jan 15
chef (John) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post 2 Months In - Does it really get better?
"Learning to deal with grief is the hard part. Your mentioning movies hit home with me. I found it difficult to watch movies early on too--maybe I'd watch for 10-15 minutes, lose focus and stop. You are entering the what is probably the worst…"
Jan 15
Mary H commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post 2 Months In - Does it really get better?
"Yes, it does get better.  The anguish, the constant tears, the wanting to die, the blind determination to stop suffering, the false starts, the ennui, the emptiness, the not wanting to live, the sorrow, the regret, it can all come to a place of…"
Jan 14
Dianne in Nevada commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post 2 Months In - Does it really get better?
"Keep writing here, Tony. It's good stuff. It can be so helpful to get your thoughts out of your head and written down - whether in a journal or typed into the computer. You can choose to share them or keep them private, but explore them all. I…"
Jan 14

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MidnightBear (Tony)'s Blog

2 Months In - Does it really get better?

Posted on January 12, 2018 at 9:49am 7 Comments

The last two days have been miserable to say the least.  Everything, and I truly mean just about everything, has reminded me of my wife.  I saw a picture of a salad today that had pomegranate seeds on it, and thought of her and the bags of frozen pomegranate seeds I now have inherited.  I tried to deal with the old DVD collection and move it into folders out of the cases so it would take less space, and I see so many movies we owned that I just would have zero interest in watching again…

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Looking Forward

Posted on December 14, 2017 at 5:55am 2 Comments

Please note, I posted this on my FB page yesterday, and then mentioned it on chat yesterday to someone.  I told them I would post it here today so here it is.

Have you ever looked back on something you wrote 25 years ago and shivered? I just did that, here is a poem I wrote 25 years ago, I don't know what possessed me then, but it is like 25 years ago I knew someday I would be where I am today: 

TITLE: Looking…

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Where is the Roadmap?

Posted on December 13, 2017 at 6:47am 5 Comments

For years, my wife and I would pick a destination to go to on vacation.  Often a national park or amusement park, but it was often that we would pick one destination that we could drive to.  These were times when we would be in the car for hours, listening to a book on tape and gabbing about random stuff.  Until we bought a car with navigation my wife was the navigator.  She was responsible for the roadmap and pointing out directions.  She would drive only during long stretches of straight…

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1 Month Down, So Many to Go

Posted on December 11, 2017 at 8:00am 0 Comments

1 month ago today, the light of my life went away.  I woke today initially with the feeling like it was all the other days since her passing, but then feelings came flooding in.  I almost crawled back into bed and refused to go to work but this would have meant admitting defeat and giving in.  I won't go down without a fight and so I dragged myself from bed, shaved, showered and got dressed.  I made myself a lunch and ate breakfast.  I left the house about 20 minutes later than intended, and…

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 6:48am on February 4, 2018, Doug02122014 said…

Hi MidnightBear (Tony),

Thanks for the friend invite.  Feel free to message me anytime and I'll do my best to get back to you  

Take care. 

Doug 

At 3:09pm on January 19, 2018, ShirleyB said…

Happy Friday, Tony.  How are you doing this evening?

At 7:04pm on November 18, 2017, judy said…

Hi MidnightBear,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

                                         

 
 
 

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