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MidnightBear (Tony)
  • Male
  • Waltham, MA
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Mrs. L. commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"Interesting comments from other widows/widowers thoughts.  All of them represent me.  It's almost 3 years years.  Yes, I am lonely, but don't where to start.  I can't come to the thought of online dating and who do…"
Mar 12
alwayssmilemichele commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"First, I applaud you for your courage.  It is a different world out there even if you had dated extensively prior to your marriage.  My Bob was a young widower when I married him when I was almost 30.  I am grateful that he was…"
Mar 4
barbee commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"Yes and yes. After almost three years of widowhood I decided I really missed the sound of a male voice, someone to talk to at the end of the day, someone who could get the up-high things off the shelf, someone to take out the garbage. Not knowing…"
Mar 4
sis commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"I haven't tried online dating and feel uncomfortable with the idea, so you took a step I'm not willing or wanting to take. But, I don't want to spend what time I have left alone. I was a part of my husband for 49 years, but we got to…"
Mar 3
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Stuck

I know so many of us are in so many ways stuck in neutral.  Holding our breath, waiting for what we have been facing to go away, but it never will.  I find myself stuck in new ways.  I decided about 2 months ago to open the chance of finding someone new to bring into my life.  To open my heart to the possibility.  So I jumped on the online dating bandwagon.  Being a computer person and also a person who worked specifically in computer security, I actually relished the random fake profile coming…See More
Mar 2
Heidi57 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Facade
"My husband, Gord, of 42,years passed away Sept. 22/18.  I have been the one who wore the "mask (or makeup)" of "I'm okay" when I wasn't and was battling anxiety and depression.  While I finally got the help I…"
Feb 21
ThisNewLife commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Tense
"This brought tears to my eyes"
Feb 20
Tekwriter commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Tense
"I do understand. The first time I had to fill out a box that had married single and no other choice I was so angry. I was not married in the world sense of the word but I did not feel single either. Widow should have been there."
Feb 15
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Tense
"LJ Um...I think that perhaps you are missing a point, I am aware it is me, but that doesn't change the body's reaction.  Reflex is something we really have little control over directly, we can recondition ourselves not to react but it…"
Jan 27
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Tense

So I mentioned this before, I am starting to navigate my way through online dating.  I find it amusing in a way at how behind I am even though I spend so much of my time building and recommending technology.  But I guess much of this really comes down to the dating side of things.  Sending messages to new people and even having a couple coffee dates with them.  For the most part I try to avoid chatting too much about my wife, I figure it isn't fair to the person I may want to get involved with…See More
Jan 26
Miss Em (Emma) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The Things People Don't Mean but Say
"Hi Tony, long time no read (I have been off line here for the holidays, travelling etc) :) Thank you again for your Blog. I often get gems out of it. This post, This post is so true! I was out the other night, a friend's farewell. We were out…"
Jan 21
DIVA70 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Facade
"Fake it until you become it! Maybe one day I can look back on this time in my life and sigh a sigh of relief. One of the things I have never liked are fake people... my husband was the same way. I had to laugh out loud when she talked about how you…"
Jan 17
sis commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Facade
"Tony, I love reading your blog. You have a way with the words to help me spit out the feelings. I, too, put on what I call "my smile mask" when I am going to be around people. If I don't feel I can wear it, I just don't go out.…"
Jan 16
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Facade

My wife and I used to giggle at women who were wearing too much makeup.  My wife almost never wore makeup at all, the only time she did was because her mother insisted on it for certain things.  Weddings were the most common requirement that makeup would be lathered on her, and she couldn't get out of that gear fast enough to return to her 'normal' self.  In her opinion, makeup changed who she was, and she wasn't going to have any of it.  It was the facade that people put on day to day to show…See More
Jan 16
Starfish5 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The Silent Beast
"Wow, what a wonderful post. I can relate to the silent beast.  I received a Christmas card from a friend who said this would be my year . . . to start dating and fall in love.  Well, I nearly fell off my chair when I read that, since I…"
Jan 14
loveboo commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The Silent Beast
"Tony, thank you for writing this. I am definitely at a different stage than you; just over four weeks since my beloved passed away, a day after giving birth to our little girl.  I still feel the shock sometimes. I know what you mean when you…"
Jan 12

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Stuck

Posted on March 2, 2019 at 11:30am 4 Comments

I know so many of us are in so many ways stuck in neutral.  Holding our breath, waiting for what we have been facing to go away, but it never will.  I find myself stuck in new ways.  I decided about 2 months ago to open the chance of finding someone new to bring into my life.  To open my heart to the possibility.  So I jumped on the online dating bandwagon.  Being a computer person and also a person who worked specifically in computer security, I actually relished the random fake profile…

Continue

Tense

Posted on January 26, 2019 at 6:46pm 4 Comments

So I mentioned this before, I am starting to navigate my way through online dating.  I find it amusing in a way at how behind I am even though I spend so much of my time building and recommending technology.  But I guess much of this really comes down to the dating side of things.  Sending messages to new people and even having a couple coffee dates with them.  For the most part I try to avoid chatting too much about my wife, I figure it isn't fair to the person I may want to get involved…

Continue

Facade

Posted on January 16, 2019 at 6:01am 3 Comments

My wife and I used to giggle at women who were wearing too much makeup.  My wife almost never wore makeup at all, the only time she did was because her mother insisted on it for certain things.  Weddings were the most common requirement that makeup would be lathered on her, and she couldn't get out of that gear fast enough to return to her 'normal' self.  In her opinion, makeup changed who she was, and she wasn't going to have any of it.  It was the facade that people put on day to day to…

Continue

The Silent Beast

Posted on January 11, 2019 at 11:49am 2 Comments

As I have today hit the 14 month mark, I reflect on a trend I notice happening.  I notice, time and again, that even though I typically have no clue what day of the month it is, that when the 11th rolls up, I am sent into an odd stupor.  A silent ever present beast takes over my will and my abilities.  I typically only get about 3 hours of sleep the night before, and often I am in bed trying to figure out why the heck it is that I can not get to sleep.  When I finally look at the calendar…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 6:48am on February 4, 2018, Doug02122014 said…

Hi MidnightBear (Tony),

Thanks for the friend invite.  Feel free to message me anytime and I'll do my best to get back to you  

Take care. 

Doug 

At 3:09pm on January 19, 2018, ShirleyB said…

Happy Friday, Tony.  How are you doing this evening?

At 7:04pm on November 18, 2017, judy said…

Hi MidnightBear,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

                                         

 
 
 

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