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MidnightBear (Tony)
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  • Waltham, MA
  • United States
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MidnightBear (Tony) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"hello Jennifer.  You have found one of the right places.  People are here because we share a common experience and we find that sharing that with each other can help us.  The numbness that perhaps your therapist is thinking about is…"
Apr 25
Tess commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post When I Close My Eyes
"Beautiful."
Apr 11
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes, in the after image of the world still held there, I can catch you standing beside me. When I close my eyes, I see that sneaky little grin that told me you were about to be up to something. When I close my eyes, I see the you from before cancer decided to change your appearance but not your heart. When I close my eyes, the world seems oddly brighter and more colorful because you are there with me. When I close my eyes, I wish I never had to open them again to look at the…See More
Mar 27
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on em.pio's blog post No Title
"Soaring Spirits has multiple regional groups that may be appropriate to find people in various age ranges that share a common experience.  There is no guarantee of his age group being represented though.  Widowers tend to be less engaged…"
Mar 27
Mrs. L. commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"Interesting comments from other widows/widowers thoughts.  All of them represent me.  It's almost 3 years years.  Yes, I am lonely, but don't where to start.  I can't come to the thought of online dating and who do…"
Mar 12
alwayssmilemichele commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"First, I applaud you for your courage.  It is a different world out there even if you had dated extensively prior to your marriage.  My Bob was a young widower when I married him when I was almost 30.  I am grateful that he was…"
Mar 4
barbee commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"Yes and yes. After almost three years of widowhood I decided I really missed the sound of a male voice, someone to talk to at the end of the day, someone who could get the up-high things off the shelf, someone to take out the garbage. Not knowing…"
Mar 4
sis commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Stuck
"I haven't tried online dating and feel uncomfortable with the idea, so you took a step I'm not willing or wanting to take. But, I don't want to spend what time I have left alone. I was a part of my husband for 49 years, but we got to…"
Mar 3
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Stuck

I know so many of us are in so many ways stuck in neutral.  Holding our breath, waiting for what we have been facing to go away, but it never will.  I find myself stuck in new ways.  I decided about 2 months ago to open the chance of finding someone new to bring into my life.  To open my heart to the possibility.  So I jumped on the online dating bandwagon.  Being a computer person and also a person who worked specifically in computer security, I actually relished the random fake profile coming…See More
Mar 2
Heidi57 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Facade
"My husband, Gord, of 42,years passed away Sept. 22/18.  I have been the one who wore the "mask (or makeup)" of "I'm okay" when I wasn't and was battling anxiety and depression.  While I finally got the help I…"
Feb 21
ThisNewLife commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Tense
"This brought tears to my eyes"
Feb 20
Tekwriter commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Tense
"I do understand. The first time I had to fill out a box that had married single and no other choice I was so angry. I was not married in the world sense of the word but I did not feel single either. Widow should have been there."
Feb 15
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Tense
"LJ Um...I think that perhaps you are missing a point, I am aware it is me, but that doesn't change the body's reaction.  Reflex is something we really have little control over directly, we can recondition ourselves not to react but it…"
Jan 27
MidnightBear (Tony) posted a blog post

Tense

So I mentioned this before, I am starting to navigate my way through online dating.  I find it amusing in a way at how behind I am even though I spend so much of my time building and recommending technology.  But I guess much of this really comes down to the dating side of things.  Sending messages to new people and even having a couple coffee dates with them.  For the most part I try to avoid chatting too much about my wife, I figure it isn't fair to the person I may want to get involved with…See More
Jan 26
Miss Em (Emma) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The Things People Don't Mean but Say
"Hi Tony, long time no read (I have been off line here for the holidays, travelling etc) :) Thank you again for your Blog. I often get gems out of it. This post, This post is so true! I was out the other night, a friend's farewell. We were out…"
Jan 21
DIVA70 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Facade
"Fake it until you become it! Maybe one day I can look back on this time in my life and sigh a sigh of relief. One of the things I have never liked are fake people... my husband was the same way. I had to laugh out loud when she talked about how you…"
Jan 17

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MidnightBear (Tony)'s Blog

When I Close My Eyes

Posted on March 27, 2019 at 2:34am 1 Comment

When I close my eyes, in the after image of the world still held there, I can catch you standing beside me. 

When I close my eyes, I see that sneaky little grin that told me you were about to be up to something. 

When I close my eyes, I see the you from before cancer decided to change your appearance but not your heart. 

When I close my eyes, the world seems oddly brighter and more colorful because you are there with me. 

When I close my eyes, I wish I never had…

Continue

Stuck

Posted on March 2, 2019 at 11:30am 4 Comments

I know so many of us are in so many ways stuck in neutral.  Holding our breath, waiting for what we have been facing to go away, but it never will.  I find myself stuck in new ways.  I decided about 2 months ago to open the chance of finding someone new to bring into my life.  To open my heart to the possibility.  So I jumped on the online dating bandwagon.  Being a computer person and also a person who worked specifically in computer security, I actually relished the random fake profile…

Continue

Tense

Posted on January 26, 2019 at 6:46pm 4 Comments

So I mentioned this before, I am starting to navigate my way through online dating.  I find it amusing in a way at how behind I am even though I spend so much of my time building and recommending technology.  But I guess much of this really comes down to the dating side of things.  Sending messages to new people and even having a couple coffee dates with them.  For the most part I try to avoid chatting too much about my wife, I figure it isn't fair to the person I may want to get involved…

Continue

Facade

Posted on January 16, 2019 at 6:01am 3 Comments

My wife and I used to giggle at women who were wearing too much makeup.  My wife almost never wore makeup at all, the only time she did was because her mother insisted on it for certain things.  Weddings were the most common requirement that makeup would be lathered on her, and she couldn't get out of that gear fast enough to return to her 'normal' self.  In her opinion, makeup changed who she was, and she wasn't going to have any of it.  It was the facade that people put on day to day to…

Continue

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At 6:48am on February 4, 2018, Doug02122014 said…

Hi MidnightBear (Tony),

Thanks for the friend invite.  Feel free to message me anytime and I'll do my best to get back to you  

Take care. 

Doug 

At 3:09pm on January 19, 2018, ShirleyB said…

Happy Friday, Tony.  How are you doing this evening?

At 7:04pm on November 18, 2017, judy said…

Hi MidnightBear,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

                                         

 
 
 

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