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Miket
  • Male
  • Jacksonville, FL
  • United States
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  • judy
 

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Latest Activity

Melissa replied to Miket's discussion Follow up to Nothing Compares in the group Widowed in 2016
"I hate to click the "Like" button. I wish it said "Understand" instead. There is nothing to like, but I understand everything you've said, Miket. I'm so sorry."
Nov 2
Miket added a discussion to the group Widowed in 2016
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Follow up to Nothing Compares

Well, a week has passed since the two year anniversary of my dear wife’s departure. That day was very difficult. I am Catholic, and so the morning Mass was said in her memory. It was absolutely crushing when they announced her name. Every week when I go to church I hear someone’s name in memory. But it felt so different, so hard, like a personal body blow, when they said my wife’s name. I seemed aimless the rest of the day, just wishing for the day to hurry up and be finished. Now, a week…See More
Nov 2
Melissa replied to Miket's discussion Nothing Compares in the group Widowed in 2016
"Oh, Miket. I'm so sorry. I know how you feel about needing strength to go on and wanting to be with her. I feel the same. My husband died suddenly, and I keep thinking about all the things I would have told him if I'd known I'd never…"
Oct 17
soulmate replied to Miket's discussion Nothing Compares in the group Widowed in 2016
"I am sorry you are having to experience this Miket-my two year anniversary will be this November 22nd. I still have our photo's on my hard drive and today I looked at them. Two years ago this month I knew the end was approaching and was…"
Oct 17
Miket replied to Miket's discussion Nothing Compares in the group Widowed in 2016
"Thank you Tess for your warm thoughts. My wife loved crafts. Several years ago she had so many that she donated some to the local school. Last month I finally got the strength to give the rest of her crafts away to the school once again. Even though…"
Oct 17
Tess replied to Miket's discussion Nothing Compares in the group Widowed in 2016
"Miket, I am so sorry for your upcoming milestone. I cannot fathom the loss of a loved one to cancer. It seems so senseless. Know that you are not responsible for anything regarding her illness. You were there to care for her and sometimes that all…"
Oct 17
Miket added a discussion to the group Widowed in 2016
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Nothing Compares

Well, next week it will be two years since I lost my wife to cancer. There has now been 730 days to think about what happened, what went wrong, and what I could have done differently. I continue to try to get my head around “why”, but still no real answers. Wishing that this terrible disease would have happened to me and spared her. I keep repeating her last days in my head - wanting the hurt to go away. It does not. I try to think of the good times, but always end up crying and hoping this all…See More
Oct 16
Miket commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2016
"Hi Tess. I can understand how you feel. In a couple of weeks it will be two years since I lost my wife. Pretty much all friends and family don’t talk about my wife anymore or when I mention her I usually get the cold shoulder. I do also…"
Oct 11
Miket replied to ImTheMarigold's discussion Ugh. Dating. in the group Widowed in 2016
"Just had my 41 wedding anniversary yesterday (alone). Second year of my wife’s passing in three more weeks. Before she passed she told me it was alright to go out and find someone else to make me happy. But I can’t. Nothing compares to…"
Oct 2
Miket commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2016
"Country Girl - I appreciate your challenge with the second anniversary just three days away. My turn comes at the end of October. So many people told me when I lost my wife that things will get better. I don’t recall any of those people losing…"
Jul 23
LostandSad replied to Miket's discussion The Process in the group Widowed in 2016
"You're so right. Grief counselors have no idea what it's like to lose the love of your life that you were married to for such a long time. My best friend forever, my person I did everything with, shared everything with...just to end up…"
Jun 29
Melissa replied to Miket's discussion The Process in the group Widowed in 2016
"Exactly, Miket! As an example, shortly after my husband died, I noticed a swollen red spot on my dog's mouth. I would have asked my husband to come look at it and see if he thought we should call the vet, wait and see, whatever. That's…"
Jun 29
Miket added a discussion to the group Widowed in 2016
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The Process

I have given more thought to the process my wife and I always went through on decision making - for things small and large.One of the couple has a thought or an idea ... going to a movie, moving, taking a vacation, spending time with friends, jobs, whatever. The result you kinda know even before you start, but the two of you still have the conversation in an open and honest manner. No hard feelings. The process (depending on the complexity):Finances; One may not like a destination; Time; Impact…See More
Jun 29
Miket replied to Tess's discussion Sole responsibility for your own life and happiness in the group Widowed in 2016
"I guess this is what I meant. It is not the conclusion - my wife and I always found common ground. It was the process that was just as important. I miss this part so much. I wish every day she was still here. It is not the same talking to the…"
Jun 27
Miket replied to Tess's discussion Sole responsibility for your own life and happiness in the group Widowed in 2016
"My experience through this whole event often leads me to the conclusion that I want to hold on to the past rather than dealing with the future. Everyone else has moved on with their lives. I am still carrying the torch to remind everyone about my…"
Jun 27
Miket replied to Tess's discussion Sole responsibility for your own life and happiness in the group Widowed in 2016
"No, you are not alone in feeling this way. I long for the days when my wife was still here, so I could share my feelings. Happiness, sadness, indecision. Her comments always gave me strength. I talk to her every day still, but do no have that same…"
Jun 27

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At 8:55am on June 16, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Hi, I can't reply to your post because I was not widowed in 2016.

I revisit the last weeks, and months. I also wish I'd have done/seen things differently.  However, I'm sure you did the same as I.  THE BEST YOU COULD with what you knew AT THE TIME.  I have to repeatedly remind myself of that sometimes several times an hour!  Death is out of our hands.  It just is. I hate when I'm told that after questions etc. but it's a simple truth.  

I truly hope through the tears of missing your wife on her birthday, that you can also find cause to smile because she was born.  On that ONE day many years before you met her, YOUR life course was changed.  

Wishing you peace and contentment, Misty 

At 7:48am on June 11, 2017, judy said…

Hi Mike,
Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you. I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

 
 
 

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