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Miket
  • Male
  • Jacksonville, FL
  • United States
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  • judy
 

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Miket commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2016
"Country Girl - I appreciate your challenge with the second anniversary just three days away. My turn comes at the end of October. So many people told me when I lost my wife that things will get better. I don’t recall any of those people losing…"
Jul 23
LostandSad replied to Miket's discussion The Process in the group Widowed in 2016
"You're so right. Grief counselors have no idea what it's like to lose the love of your life that you were married to for such a long time. My best friend forever, my person I did everything with, shared everything with...just to end up…"
Jun 29
Melissa replied to Miket's discussion The Process in the group Widowed in 2016
"Exactly, Miket! As an example, shortly after my husband died, I noticed a swollen red spot on my dog's mouth. I would have asked my husband to come look at it and see if he thought we should call the vet, wait and see, whatever. That's…"
Jun 29
Miket added a discussion to the group Widowed in 2016
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The Process

I have given more thought to the process my wife and I always went through on decision making - for things small and large.One of the couple has a thought or an idea ... going to a movie, moving, taking a vacation, spending time with friends, jobs, whatever. The result you kinda know even before you start, but the two of you still have the conversation in an open and honest manner. No hard feelings. The process (depending on the complexity):Finances; One may not like a destination; Time; Impact…See More
Jun 29
Miket replied to Tess's discussion Sole responsibility for your own life and happiness in the group Widowed in 2016
"I guess this is what I meant. It is not the conclusion - my wife and I always found common ground. It was the process that was just as important. I miss this part so much. I wish every day she was still here. It is not the same talking to the…"
Jun 27
Miket replied to Tess's discussion Sole responsibility for your own life and happiness in the group Widowed in 2016
"My experience through this whole event often leads me to the conclusion that I want to hold on to the past rather than dealing with the future. Everyone else has moved on with their lives. I am still carrying the torch to remind everyone about my…"
Jun 27
Miket replied to Tess's discussion Sole responsibility for your own life and happiness in the group Widowed in 2016
"No, you are not alone in feeling this way. I long for the days when my wife was still here, so I could share my feelings. Happiness, sadness, indecision. Her comments always gave me strength. I talk to her every day still, but do no have that same…"
Jun 27
LostandSad replied to Miket's discussion Another Trigger in the group Widowed in 2016
"How amazing of you that you volunteer to help others. That's so wonderful! Your wife is so proud of you, I'm sure.  I have heard of sarcoma before but I don't know much about it I actually never knew anything at all about cancer…"
Jun 16
Miket replied to Miket's discussion Another Trigger in the group Widowed in 2016
"I lost my wife to cancer as well. She had surgery about six years ago to remove fibroid tumors and I think they left some remains in her. The cancer recurred in 2016 but by the time it was caught it was stage four. Rare cancer - sarcoma. There is…"
Jun 16
LostandSad replied to Miket's discussion Another Trigger in the group Widowed in 2016
"The next event for me will be the 4th of July.  He loved it...(i don't really) ...he just loved the fireworks...the kind you buy. He would get together with another guy in our neighborhood and they would buy the big ones and let them off.…"
Jun 16
Miket replied to Miket's discussion Another Trigger in the group Widowed in 2016
"I hear you. I wish it were past Monday as well. The next “event” that I need to deal with is the second anniversary of her death. But that is not until October. But I have learned by now that there will be other mini triggers between now…"
Jun 16
LostandSad replied to Miket's discussion Another Trigger in the group Widowed in 2016
"Your wife sounds like a wonderful person, always thinking of others and that's how my husband was. My mom and step dad who are a little elderly live in a one bedroom apartment. He always told me to give them a call and invite them over and…"
Jun 16
Miket replied to Miket's discussion Another Trigger in the group Widowed in 2016
"Yes, my wife’s birthday is also Monday, June 18. And I feel your hurt. I too am sad beyond compare. My wife was always there for her father if Fathers Day fell on her birthday or not. It was always special to her. I want so much to be with her…"
Jun 16
LostandSad replied to Miket's discussion Another Trigger in the group Widowed in 2016
"Hello Miket,  My husband would be having his birthday this Monday, June 18th so I know exactly how you feel. His birthday always falls on Father's Day or the day or two around it. We'd have a big celebration and he would always get…"
Jun 16
Rainy (Misty) left a comment for Miket
"Hi, I can't reply to your post because I was not widowed in 2016.I revisit the last weeks, and months. I also wish I'd have done/seen things differently.  However, I'm sure you did the same as I.  THE BEST YOU COULD with…"
Jun 16
Miket added a discussion to the group Widowed in 2016
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Another Trigger

I had to write - my wife’s birthday is in a few days and the thought of her not being here rips at my heart. I constantly revisit in my mind her last weeks and days. I have regrets that I could have done more. I think about the pain she went through in chemo and in hospice and I tried so much to help her - in retrospect I put too much faith in the oncologist. What I know now about options I wish I had known back then. I can’t say the outcome would be different, but other avenues might have…See More
Jun 16

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At 8:55am on June 16, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Hi, I can't reply to your post because I was not widowed in 2016.

I revisit the last weeks, and months. I also wish I'd have done/seen things differently.  However, I'm sure you did the same as I.  THE BEST YOU COULD with what you knew AT THE TIME.  I have to repeatedly remind myself of that sometimes several times an hour!  Death is out of our hands.  It just is. I hate when I'm told that after questions etc. but it's a simple truth.  

I truly hope through the tears of missing your wife on her birthday, that you can also find cause to smile because she was born.  On that ONE day many years before you met her, YOUR life course was changed.  

Wishing you peace and contentment, Misty 

At 7:48am on June 11, 2017, judy said…

Hi Mike,
Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you. I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

 
 
 

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