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Miss Em (Emma)
  • Female
  • Qld
  • Australia
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Miss Em (Emma)'s Friends

  • Shell
  • Sar_ML
  • Jabs
  • MomOfBoys (Tammi)
  • shellybean
  • Anyhope
  • Paul .S.
  • bayoured
  • MartyG (ver. 2.2)
  • Rainy (Misty)
  • Kate
  • eliana
  • Frank
  • lyn
  • Morgana (Janet)

Miss Em (Emma)'s Discussions

Memorial jewellery

Started this discussion. Last reply by SpringLight Jul 29. 11 Replies

My husband was cremated and I am doing a bit of research into memorial jewellery. There are lots of options of items of jewellery that you can either store a tiny amount of the ashes inside, or even…Continue

Other people's wedding anniversaries

Started this discussion. Last reply by Hopesmom Oct 9. 7 Replies

I am usually a fairly gushy person and love seeing people celebrate their wedding anniversaries on Facebook etc. I guess because so many marriages end in divorce, I have always enjoyed seeing ones…Continue

 

Miss Em (Emma)'s Page

Latest Activity

vintage56(barb) commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Birthdays
"I went through my birthday in August. People say Happy Birthday but how can it be happy, when the person who made it special for me, is no longer here? They just don't get it."
Oct 12
Frank P commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Birthdays
"Hi everyone, my birthday is coming in a few days, first one without Mary.we usually went away for it , either a trip or at least a weekend away, then maybe pizza out with family, i lost her July 5th so this Monday will be a very hard day,I’m…"
Oct 11
MidnightBear (Tony) commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Birthdays
"My birthday and my wife's are 11 days apart, but there are 2 years difference between us.  Our birthdays are coming up soon and just thinking about it has been bugging me for some time.  I know a part of my grief over it is that her…"
Oct 11
Miss Em (Emma) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The End of the Pavement
"Hi Tony, I can relate to so much of this. We were a little longer off retirement, but we were about 5 years off our kids being grown. We had talked about being itinerant for a while. Working odd jobs while we travelled. We talked about travelling…"
Oct 10
Hopesmom replied to Miss Em (Emma)'s discussion Other people's wedding anniversaries
"When I see couples our age together I actually get jealous that they get to have each other and I'm all alone. Life is so unfair. I hope they appreciate each other. Lotsa love and hope to you. Janet"
Oct 9
Miss Em (Emma) posted a blog post

Birthdays

Last week I had my birthday. Next week it will be Sean's birthday. His first since he has been gone. Our birthdays are 13 days less than a year apart. So for 13 days we were the same age. Only this year, he wont be going ahead of me anymore. This year I get to be the same age as him for a whole year. Then next year, I will be older than he will ever be. Sean worked away a lot so not being present with each other on our actual birthdays was not unusual. I didn't really miss him as such on my…See More
Oct 9
Miss Em (Emma) commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Living life to honour the lost....without them
"Thanks Athena, That was a great story and I loved your suggestions."
Oct 3
Athena53 commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Living life to honour the lost....without them
"Miss Em, I'm slowly working through this.  Ron died in November, 2016 and we LOVED traveling together. In our case, it helped that he and I had been to so many places together before he died, so it's not that he missed out completely,…"
Sep 28
Miss Em (Emma) commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Living life to honour the lost....without them
"I dont think this post has come from racing thoughts. I am just processing the irony of being given freedom through the loss of my husband, that he would have loved to have had himself. "
Sep 27
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Living life to honour the lost....without them
"Racing thoughts can be caused by stress & anxiety from grief as well as PTSD ...Try breathing exercises or some other type of physical work out. The more labor intensive you make it will relieve these symptoms. Gardening - shoveling rocks or…"
Sep 21
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Sex
""Skin hunger" is a need for caring physical contact caused by stress; it's not necessarily a need for sex. Hugging people can relieve the stress hormones from grief. I found hugging my kids significantly reduced my levels of cortisol…"
Sep 21
smit09 commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Sex
"lol I had a great laugh at this post (not an insensitive laugh by any means) I totally 100% get this.  I was 26 and 8 months pregnant with my first son when I was thrown into widowhood.  I missed being touched, desired, and fantasized…"
Sep 20
Miss Em (Emma) posted a blog post

Living life to honour the lost....without them

I have 4 more years of school to go with the kids and then I am free to roam as Sean and I had planned to do. Only of course now, my plans, our plans, are all shot to pieces. Sean died and we never got to roam as we had planned. Do I go anyway, by myself? What will that look like? feel like? He was always saying "make memories"; "Live life" "travel the country" "see the world". We just never seemed to have the money to travel the world, but we did see a fair bit of Australia. The irony now, is…See More
Sep 20
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Thirteen is just a stage!
"(((Miss Em)) There are more types of therapy other than Talk Therapy. My son was in Play Therapy from the age of 11-13, most all of it was constructing Legos to resemble his grief,  his father's car collision, etc. His therapist…"
Sep 19
Miss Em (Emma) commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Thirteen is just a stage!
"Thanks SweetMelissa, I totally get where you are coming from, but if the child/teen is not ready to talk, is there any point? Ie I can make the appointments, drag him down there, but I cant make him participate. we are only 6 months in so far and…"
Sep 19
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Thirteen is just a stage!
"Not till I addressed my own trauma from Bob's sudden death in a car collision as well as our kids in providing specialized therapy for trauma did their self destructive behavior from grief stop ...Kids are not as resilient as people want to…"
Sep 19

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Miss Em (Emma)'s Blog

Birthdays

Posted on October 9, 2018 at 4:53pm 4 Comments

Last week I had my birthday. Next week it will be Sean's birthday. His first since he has been gone. Our birthdays are 13 days less than a year apart. So for 13 days we were the same age. Only this year, he wont be going ahead of me anymore. This year I get to be the same age as him for a whole year. Then next year, I will be older than he will ever be. Sean worked away a lot so not being present with each other on our actual birthdays was not unusual. I didn't really miss him as such on my…

Continue

Living life to honour the lost....without them

Posted on September 20, 2018 at 4:24pm 5 Comments

I have 4 more years of school to go with the kids and then I am free to roam as Sean and I had planned to do. Only of course now, my plans, our plans, are all shot to pieces. Sean died and we never got to roam as we had planned. Do I go anyway, by myself? What will that look like? feel like? He was always saying "make memories"; "Live life" "travel the country" "see the world". We just never seemed to have the money to travel the world, but we did see a fair bit of…

Continue

Sex

Posted on September 17, 2018 at 4:48pm 5 Comments

Sex - its a funny business; not just the mechanics of it. On one hand, it is the most intimate of all physical relationships possible. It is considered sacred in a committed relationship, and sex outside of marriage is often the catalyst for divorce. On the other, one night stands, booty calls, casual hook ups are considered normal among singles. I guess the two kind of balance each other out. Sex is a physical need and an emotional glue, (and of course a means to procreate). As…

Continue

My Bed

Posted on September 5, 2018 at 3:19pm 4 Comments

I have what is described in Australia, as a king sized bed. I am not sure what that is in other countries, but it is the largest standard sized bed available here. My husband was tall so he preferred a large bed where he could spread out. We were never cuddle sleepers, preferring to have a cuddle, then retreat to our respective sides for sleep. This has resulted in two definite dips in the plush mattress topper. Since Sean died, I have been acutely aware of the size of the bed and that I am…

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Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 3:26pm on May 2, 2018, Anyhope said…

Thank you for messaging me Miss Em.  I ache for you and your loss. I'm tearing up just thinking of my pain and your pain.  It stinks. It feels like your in an ocean floating along and the waves just keep coming and going.  I've been doing ok the last two days, but just when I think I'm doing ok I get hit with a big wave of grief.  Sometimes it lasts for an hour, a day, or a week. I'm always grieving it seems, but it's the real heavy, hard times that I hope get fewer in between.  You know what I mean.  How are your kids holding up?  Mine grieve in their own ways.  I think they are doing better over all than me.  My youngest, Nathanael my 7 year old, woke up yesterday crying because he dreamed of his dad.  That breaks my heart. My sister advised me today to try and figure out who I am and to love myself even though I'm alone--to just love my own company.  That's hard when I've been in love with my husband even before I was a teenager.  He was my identity.  I went from living with my parents at home to getting married.  This is the first time in my life that I've really been on my own.  It feels lonely.  I'm so thankful to have this site and people to chat with though.  I think it will definitely be therapeutic.  I think I'd like to go to Camp Widow in San Diego this July.  How about you?  Do you have any plans or trips for the summer?

At 5:02pm on April 28, 2018, Kate said…

Hi Miss Em, I live in Mount Isa also. Feel free to send me a message. I’m not very good at using widowed village lol but will see if I can figure it out.

Kate :)

At 12:36am on April 20, 2018, eliana said…

Just thought you might be interested in this:

Soaring Spirits International has partnered with First Light Widowed Association, an organization for widowed people in Australia, to provide a private forum for our Aussie widows to connect.  In addition to this online community, First Light hosts local catch ups throughout the country and is working with Soaring Spirits to bring Camp Widow to Australia in the future. 

http://widowedvillage.org/group/first-light-widowed-association

take care -- eliana

At 12:33am on April 20, 2018, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, Miss Em. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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