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Monkey
  • Female
  • Highspire, PA
  • United States
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Monkey's Discussions

How do i let go of the pain without leaving my husband behind?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Frank Dec 28, 2018. 6 Replies

I have been feeling so torn after my Joe's death . Its been 18 months, this year, especially the past few weeks, even more agonizing then ever. His birthday is this upcoming thursday. I struggle…Continue

 

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Latest Activity

Monkey commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Kjpe i am so sorry, its still so new for you, i want to say remember to keep breathing and if you have to scream, go somewhere private and do so, keep letting it out as much as you can. Keep reaching out because when you are able you will realize it…"
Jan 3
Frank replied to Monkey's discussion How do i let go of the pain without leaving my husband behind?
"Hi Guys, Yes, you are just starting on the journey and no one would expect either of you to be anywhere near that point.  I'd intended my letter to acknowledge your pain and it's intensity, and to support you by giving you things to…"
Dec 28, 2018
sis replied to Monkey's discussion How do i let go of the pain without leaving my husband behind?
"I want to thank you, too, Frank. Sometimes just reading responses to other's questions can help provide some clarity, and that is what your response to Monkey did for me. My mind knows this, but seeing it in words helps to make a little sense…"
Dec 28, 2018
Monkey replied to Monkey's discussion How do i let go of the pain without leaving my husband behind?
"Frank thank you. I havent reached acceptance but i do get up every day, go to work, come home, go to sleep and repeat and if thats all it is right now, its ok. Cause I have this to and this i need. Truly thank you. "
Dec 27, 2018
Frank replied to Monkey's discussion How do i let go of the pain without leaving my husband behind?
"Hi Monkey, What you are asking simply cannot be done with the "Flick of a switch."  It takes months and years and at some point you will accept that Joe has passed.  Your mind will accept it, and with that acceptance comes a…"
Dec 27, 2018
Monkey replied to Monkey's discussion How do i let go of the pain without leaving my husband behind?
"Thank you for hearing me, that was huge, as i know you are hurting as well. I hear you and pray that with every hour it gets a little less raw. Just keep breathing, i am here if you need leave a message."
Dec 25, 2018
sis replied to Monkey's discussion How do i let go of the pain without leaving my husband behind?
"I'm sorry that I can't help you with this. I'm in my first year and it still feels very raw. I've decided to just try to get through one hour at a time. I know my husband wouldn't / doesn't want me with this pain, but…"
Dec 25, 2018
Monkey replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Christmas
"Its not crazy. I pray one day I will get to the point to feel comforted by something like that. I want to be, i see myself going thru the motions to do things like that, but cant make myself actually do it. I am at work, only a few hours today, just…"
Dec 24, 2018
Monkey posted a discussion

How do i let go of the pain without leaving my husband behind?

I have been feeling so torn after my Joe's death . Its been 18 months, this year, especially the past few weeks, even more agonizing then ever. His birthday is this upcoming thursday. I struggle because i feel like if i let go of this pain in any way, i am letting him go somehow. I am in self imposed hell but how can i not be. He would be 43 on thursday. We were married almost 12 years. I feel so like i missed out on my life with him and all of a sudden this is what defines me. But its…See More
Dec 23, 2018
Monkey replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion US: MID-ATLANTIC in the group Connect with others in your area
"Hi i am from harrisburg pa "
Dec 23, 2018
Monkey replied to Kmelli3 (Kate)'s discussion Feel like I am in a nightmare I can't wake up from in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Beautiful i am still new here and within the past week or so the strength i have already received is amazing.kmeli3 just keep reading and reaching out."
Dec 22, 2018
Monkey replied to Kmelli3 (Kate)'s discussion Feel like I am in a nightmare I can't wake up from in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Kmeli3, all of you who have replied and offered advice and bools, i have watched ted talks on grief and loss as well, they are truly a help. Thank you all so much for sharing during this difficult time. It seems impossible but then another day…"
Dec 22, 2018
Monkey replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Christmas
"Yes Nancy that is it exactly. This is my second year as well and its worse, more painful than anything i experienced last year. Its real, its really real, last year it was just a feeling of get this over with, but not quite concrete. Niw, there is…"
Dec 21, 2018
Monkey replied to Kmelli3 (Kate)'s discussion Feel like I am in a nightmare I can't wake up from in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Nieta thank you. Your story made me think of me, and ok i am still grieving so terribly and its so true. I am just now understanding that taking the time to grieve, being gentle with myself, its so necessary to survive."
Dec 21, 2018
Monkey replied to Kmelli3 (Kate)'s discussion Feel like I am in a nightmare I can't wake up from in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Im sorry never is enough to say. There are no words except all my love to you. My husband Joe was 41 and had a heart attack and it was Good Friday, april 2017. I understand because in some way i died,along with him. The fact that you reached out to…"
Dec 21, 2018
Monkey replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Christmas
"Like i want all the memories but i always feel so blindsided by my feelings it tears me apart i hang on so tightly to anything of him but it is agonizing ay the same time. "
Dec 18, 2018

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At 9:06am on December 16, 2018, Mrs Bear said…

Welcome Monkey,

I lost my husband suddenly on April 14th this year. He was 49. The holidays intensifies our grief. Sorry for your loss, hope you find support here.

At 7:39am on December 16, 2018, judy said…

Hi Monkey,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

 
 
 

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