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NMWidower
  • 46, Male
  • Edgewood, NM
  • United States
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NMWidower's Friends

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  • Doug02122014
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NMWidower's Discussions

Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa Jan 18, 2016. 96 Replies

There have been so many recent new members here who are just barely in their journey that I have been thinking a lot about how we can best encourage them. My heart so clearly remembers the first few…Continue

Tags: Hope, Grief, Encouragement

 

NMWidower's Page

Latest Activity

NMWidower replied to Doug02122014's discussion Jealousy. Anyone been down this road ? in the group Remarried After Loss
"Challenging situation. I think you are setting up good protection for you and her and the transparency will keep you from potentially challenging situations. Some additional thoughts: talk with her about what makes her feel insecure and through…"
Mar 7
NMWidower replied to barbee's discussion unexpected things in the group Remarried After Loss
"Building a new life of two individuals no matter what the past will always have some challenges for sure. Figuring out how to still honor the lost spouse and build a new life with someone and a deciding what is our "new" house is going to…"
Mar 7
NMWidower replied to Doug02122014's discussion What is the best way for your kids to address your new spouse ? in the group Remarried After Loss
"I think a ton depends on the ages of the children. Those roughly 10 and older may really feel uncomfortable with using "mom" as it may feel a betrayal to their birth mom. For my kids at age 3 and 6 we all felt comfortable calling get Susan…"
Mar 7
NMWidower replied to Doug02122014's discussion Is marriage right for us ? Unexpected things to consider (Financial). in the group Remarried After Loss
"One thing that really struck me when dating again was how much unsecured debt the average person had and how that made me uncomfortable. It's not something I ever thought of when I first married, but is definitely a consideration you have to…"
Mar 7
SweetMelissa replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"As time goes on, the more sick & tiring it gets dealing with grief day in, day out. There will be days of being out of control; anger, screaming, wild ideas, etc. All of it is okay to release -just not at other people. One suggestion is to care…"
Jan 18, 2016
Ren replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"I'm really not in control.  My husband and I talked of what I needed to do during his final weeks.  He did everything, so I'm feeling like a fish out of water.  I'm going to borrow; "I'm doing, thanks for…"
Dec 30, 2015
Ren replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"Thank you so much for your encouraging response, and I am a true believer in angels. "
Dec 30, 2015
katpilot replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"Ren I am so sorry for why you have joined this club but welcome and take faith that it isn't going to be like this always. Yes you will read a lot of despair and sorrow. It's what we feel and the holidays make it only that much more…"
Dec 30, 2015
Ren replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"It was three weeks ago today that I lost my sweet, husband.  I have to say reading some posts here, doesn't give me a lot of hope.   If I feel in 3, 4, 5, years the same as I feel today, I will be miserable.  Of course, losing…"
Dec 30, 2015
katpilot replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"Cathy's right Owfw. I am almost at five years myself and survived another Christmas. Yes I do still miss my wife. Very, very much, and I still love her every bit as I did when she was with me, perhaps even more. The pain does ease and you will…"
Dec 28, 2015
chef (John) replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"Congratulations. You said a mouthful."
Dec 16, 2015
Manderly replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"It's been 4 years and 2 months since my husband died.  This is the first year I have any stirrings of holiday spirit.  It's not a lot, but enough to put a wreath on my front door.  It's takes such a long time to feel…"
Dec 16, 2015
Solita replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"Thank you for starting this thread.  I lost my husband suddenly in august.  The holidays haven't even started to bother me yet because I am so struggling for daily survival they seem remote.  This page gives me some inspiration."
Dec 9, 2015
NMWidower replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"I think that is one of the hardest parts. I found I quickly realized I had to let so many things go that first year and that it was ok to do so. You only have so much strength that 1 st year and so much energy goes to grieving. To really learn what…"
Dec 8, 2015
NMWidower replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"Such a spot on reply chef. I wholeheartedly concur with your suggestions and comments. OWFW, My heart breaks for you. Like Chef my low point came around the 3-4 month part. I felt life was over and that I could not function with our several complete…"
Dec 8, 2015
chef (John) replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"You are doing all the right things. (I used an unused stairwell whenever I lost it at work.) What you're feeling is normal. My absolute "low point" came somewhere between Weeks 12 and 16. (The coroner's office managed to…"
Dec 8, 2015
[email protected] replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"I know you posted awhile ago, but this feeling of needing a pause button is spot on for me. My husband died in August and life is still going on without him. I need that pause button!"
Dec 8, 2015
Owfw replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"It's been just over 4 weeks from when my wife of 22 years passed on... I am a total mess.  My 10 year old little girl is in therapy once a week.. I am trying to find one for myself but even the cheap ones are to pricey for me at the…"
Dec 2, 2015
breistl replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"I'm 3 months out and that was one of the first things that really messed me up after going back to work. We talked everyday on my way out of work. Initially I would just hold my phone in my hand, get to my car and cry for about 10 minutes. Now…"
Jul 18, 2015
Brandy1977 replied to NMWidower's discussion Encouragement for those walking in the early months of grief
"Yes I feel like my safe place is gone. She was always the one to make things better and when things felt horrible she would always say it was going to be okay. She was my rock forever and always. She was the bill payer for the past 10 years now…"
Jul 15, 2015

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NMWidower's Blog

Remembering Heidi and Reflections on the last three and a half years...

Posted on June 12, 2013 at 10:42pm 10 Comments

May 5 2013 was officially three and a half years since Heidi was lost to us.  It amazes me still that even after fully grieving and rebuilding in life, I still find myself almost out of breath when I think on the tragedy of that day.  For those of you who don't know me or my story, we lost Heidi very suddenly and unexpectedly one dark November night, when in a moment of weakness due to postpartum depression she took her own life.  I found myself with a four month old and a 3 and a half year…

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Feeling alive and at such peace this Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2012 at 3:02am 12 Comments

Hello everyone,

I had to make a quick post as I had quite an epiphany last night.  It has been just over three years since my wife Heidi passed away in quite a tragic fashion and this is the third Christmas we have had without her.  But this is also the first Christmas we have had since I have been remarried.  In fact I got remarried just over six months ago.

What really hit me last night was that for the first time in who knows how long I truly was completely…

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The joy and the bittersweetness in approaching remarriage

Posted on May 23, 2012 at 11:23pm 23 Comments

In just three weeks I will once again marry a beautiful and amazing woman and rejoin the ranks of the married. In preparing to go to Texas this week to get a marriage license I happened upon death certificates and the marriage license that my late wife and i gathered.  Not that i really think I will need these, but there is part of me that just likes to be prepared for possible contingencies!  But in looking at these tonight I cant help but remember and feel a bit sad knowing that life Heidi…

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Neat thoughts from Christina Rasmussen the founder of Second Firsts

Posted on January 12, 2012 at 8:13pm 2 Comments

Christina Rasmussen is the founder of second firsts.  I have been connected with her page on facebook for quite awhile now.  While I may not always agree 100% with everything she says, I have really appreciated the way she encourages people who have had a loss of a spouse to live again. Many of her posts helped me find that will to want to live life again...

She had this post today that encouraged me and several other widow/widower friends today I thought I would pass it on…

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Comment Wall (57 comments)

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At 7:21pm on May 29, 2014, Doug02122014 said…
Pat

Thanks for friend invite. Great to hear from someone who has traveled so far on this journey. Truly is inspirational.

Doug
At 6:05pm on May 24, 2012, BrittneyR said…

Thanks for the friend request, and for posting the MercyMe video. That song is such a blessing to me right now. Your girls are just adorable! And congrats on getting remarried, that's so exciting and so encouraging to hear :) Wishing you the best!

At 10:50am on May 24, 2012, kimkirt (KK) said…

Hi Pat, thanks for the friend request!

At 8:19am on May 8, 2012, Sunflower37 said…

Hi NMWidower, thank you for the request.

At 8:50pm on April 26, 2012, jimswife33 (Michelle) said…

Congratulations thats wonderful.

At 6:27am on November 5, 2011, Dianne in Nevada said…
Thinking of you today, Pat.
At 2:06pm on October 29, 2011, tharsis said…

Hi NM, Thanks you for the friend request. It's been hard for me to even get on here to respond, but I guess we all just are doing the best that we can. I lost my best friend, ex-wife and roommate to ovarian cancer on Aug 31st and it's been very hard for me, so I appreciate you reaching out!

 

Ed (aka Tharsis)

At 8:26am on October 22, 2011, Marsha said…
Thanks for friending me. I look forward to getting to know you as I move toward the summit.
At 7:19pm on September 30, 2011, Debbie said…

For your kind words, thank you.

At 11:23am on September 27, 2011, Debbie said…

I'm having a hard time finding good things in life, thanks for your positive posts.

YouLyrics

 
 
 

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