"I love that metaphor, Lev: "I am struggling to get back on to the horse that I put into the stable so that I could be present for my husband 100%. I am not a robot so there are no on/off switches." That describes me and my…"
"Shirley and Rainy, I'm four months into this journey and for me it continues to be brutal, but there are tiny "points of light" for me now and I no longer cry all day, every day. So I hold onto those two little awareness…"
"adoption1964: I could have written your post myself, almost word by word. I live alone but my adult children and grandkids live nearby and watching them struggle with their grief is really tough. Our "Papa Bear" was so well…"
"A diamond and pearl necklace. Jewelry was never important to either of us, but our two daughters have married guys who like giving their wives jewelry for special occasions, and Frank said it was a special occasion. He joked that he was…"
"This was New years Eve 2016. Frank was recovering from the surgery 3 weeks before---the surgery for his stomach cancer that had to be aborted and gave us the news that it was terminal. He lived for 10 more months, passing peacefully at…"
"Adoption1964: I think it's perfectly normal in our grief to have regrets about medical treatment. I do. My husband's stomach surgery had to be aborted when they realized the extent of the cancer (did not show up on the scan…"
"Peach: I too have the "zapped" low energy times. I can barely function when they hit. I am sure they are caused by the grief, so I haven't freaked out about them, but wow! It's all I can do some days to…"
"Carmen13: I think you are so right when you said " I am changed forever and its a long slow process finding out who I am again". I feel very confused about who I am in the world. I certainly never wanted to be without my…"
"Inside Love: You are so right about knowing intuitively that the loss of a beloved spouse is not something to "get through". Where does that idea come from? I know intuitively too that it is just crazy to think I could…"
"ShirleyB, you are right. I'm not judging anybody's sh*t here but the saga continued today and I still don't have my money. The bank guy just called me to tell me I should come in again tomorrow to finalize the process of…"
"45 days. I am still mostly just SO SAD. But this afternoon I also felt just plain overwhelmed. Very defeated. I have been working with Wells Fargo bank to accomplish three things: close a checking account that was in my…"
"I am so sorry for your loss and sorry that you get to be part of this group. My husband has been gone for 6 weeks now and I feel all of those feelings you so well describe here. Coming to accept the reality is just a long painful…"
"I can understand what you say about compartmentalizing. I went into a "just do it" mode once my husband began to get really sick at the end of his cancer battle. I was efficient and took good care of him, managing his meds, his…"
"Yes, ShirleyB, it feels surreal to me too. I cry a lot. I'm kind of amazed how much I can cry! I do think that this great grief is the price I am having to pay for the great love I had. And while I would never in a…"
"I, too, knew my husband was not going to survive, and yet the end took me by surprise. I find myself obsessively reliving the last day (that I didn't know was going to be his last) over and over in my mind: Would I have done…"
"I am so sorry for your loss. My husband Frank died a month ago after a 14 month battle with stomach cancer. For me too the sadness is overwhelming. I told a friend yesterday that "each day I wake up to a big bowl of sad…"
Welcome to Widville, NancyD. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.