"Susan, Melissa, and riet: Yes to all those feelings for me, too! It's been a year since my husband died and it feels like I've had to make SO many decisions, all without the one person whom I relied on to help me reason things…"
"Riet, I am so sorry for your loss. And I understand how hard it is to make decisions when you've lost the one you could always reason things out with and decide together. I am overwhelmed by this. It has been a year since my…"
"This is a very thought-provoking post. Thanks for writing your feelings so honestly. Much what you say here is not how I feel (I do not hate the word widow and I do not feel guilty when happy) but I am encouraged that we have all found…"
"Hmmm...this has made me stop to think. What DO I do to keep busy during the day? Every day I read the paper, do the crossword and drink coffee, do a little housework, get online to check out a few favorite sites. I have a couple…"
"I retired three years ago from a career as teacher and school administrator. I had happy plans of all sorts of things I would be doing. Turns out Fate had a different plan for me: Out of the blue I developed severe back pain…"
"Hi Nataliepin. Wish I could give you a hug! I understand completely your comment "We discussed his passing at length but somehow it still seems so unexpected, like it shouldn't have happened yet even though we knew it was…"
"Yes, EarthSpirit, it's lots of ups and downs for me, too. Peace is the best thing to wish for, isn't it?
Shoosie 2. you are the first person I've read here to mention the pain of the doing the taxes. I get it. I too…"
"I think it takes a long time and a lot of starts-and-stops to figure out what to do with all the "stuff". I cut myself a lot of slack on this, having read on these boards that it is different for everyone: how to process the…"
" I just want to reach out to everyone posting about guilt and give you each a hug. And hug myself too!!! I know we all did the best we could do at the end of our beloved's life. The "woulda shoulda coulda" thinking…"
"My husband passed peacefully in the early morning here at home. I held him for a little while, then called our kids who live nearby, and then his brother. They all came over. Bittersweet memories of those few hours before I said,…"
"For me, it is just taking a long time to empty out everything. I do one thing (bathroom drawers or desk) and then do nothing for a month! I think that's all OK. I have asked my adult kids to come look through things, but they mostly…"
"Thank you SweetMelissa for your post yesterday about your need to understand your husband's death, exactly how it happened, what it was like, etc. I appreciate that honesty. It's something I can't really share with my…"
"I feel like Riet said:
"But... here is my but: I do want to live: to honor him, to see him in our children and grandchildren...He, himself wanted to live a full life till his last day. I have to follow his example."
My husband lived…"
"Yes, this is the right place to"say the unsayable". Everyone here understands the grief is a brutal thing and that it is both unique (based on who I am, who my spouse was, etc.) and universal (every grieving widow is in pain,…"
"The clothes are a challenge. Ten months later I am just finishing up giving them away. It's been a start-and-stop process for me. He had some beautiful things and I was happy to give his leather jacket, sweaters, even his tux…"
Welcome to Widville, NancyD. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.