"When I was a kid, our two spare TVs were black and white. My life now is like watching a color show on one of those black and white TVs. I can remember what it looked like in color, but the color is gone. It's all gray."
A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
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NikkiPea
- Female
- Salt Lake City, UT
- United States
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NikkiPea's Discussions
Finding a grief counselor
Started this discussion. Last reply by jean Oct 16, 2012. 15 Replies 0 Likes
I finally got insurance and I am seriously looking into finding a good grief counselor. I really would like someone who specializes with grief. I'm going to keep this super simple and just ask if…Continue
Social Security Benefits
Started this discussion. Last reply by CYNDERBLOCK (CY) Jan 12, 2012. 6 Replies 0 Likes
My husband, Spencer, was receiving SSI when he died... That was our only source of income as I was a full time student. We were on a very tight budget and had very little wiggle room. I babysat twice…Continue
NikkiPea's Page
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MissingRKK commented on NikkiPea's blog post A different kind of glow
"Thank you, Nikki. What you describe does glow through those photos so beautiful. Thank you for sharing them. You are such a great writer.
I get what you mean about the dullness and appearing differently. I went to the birthday party of my…"
NikkiPea posted a blog post
A different kind of glow
This is something I wrote on my blog yesterday, and I thought that I'd share here as I'm sure many of you can relate. Just wanted to open up discussion or thought maybe it would help others get their thoughts together around this. ************For the first time today in over a month I sat down and looked through pictures of Spencer and I. During the holiday season, my birthday, and the anniversary of his death I completely shut off all of my grieving emotions. Dealing with so much in such a…See More
jean replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"Larry, maybe some of them are... not sure. The one I went to had a facilitator but it was painfully obvious he had minimal training and hadn't lost his wife..Maybe if I had went more then twice I would of seen better from him but didn't…"
Supa Dupa Fresh replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"Glad to see all the helpful responses you received, Nikki! When you call hospices, keep in mind they're not just referring you... MANY hospice organizations are mandated to support bereaved people in the community, regardless of whether they…"
Supa Dupa Fresh replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"Desnamt, the only way to find out is to call the places that are closest to you! Please do call, and don't forget hospice. You might also be able to enlist volunteers or "carpool" with other members, if you find a group. And the only…"
rolling (Larry) replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"Aren't they coordinated by a psychologist? If not I'd much rather be a member of this forum. Then I can drop out whenever I'm emotionally strained."
jean replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"Nikiepea,
I strongly suggest one on one counsel first... even just once. Joan helped me more then I can give her credit for and I saw her just the once. I asked her about the grief groups.. she told me they can make it harder..…"
NikkiPea replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"Wow! Thank you everyone for your replies and support!! I had forgotten about checking with hospice, and with that suggestion I realized that I could always contact the palliative care team that we used at the hospital when he passed. I'm sure…"
desnamt replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"I live in RI I am looking for grief counselor but dont have a car. Does anyone know if they come out to you?"
jean replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"hospice is a great suggestion. Also, check with local churches... I stumbled into a greif couselors office when I went to pay off my grave site sometime after Mike died.. I didn't know she was a counselor, thougth she was taking me to her…"
Youngatheart replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"I sent my daughter (18) to Hospice for individual and group counseling. They helped her so much. They would not let her start the group until they thought she was ready. It was a Godsend to her. She was the youngest one in the…"
Zipper replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"I lost my husband to a sudden heart attack and never used Hospice, but through friends/contacts that is where I ended up when I was looking for some individual counseling. It was amazing to me that they offered individual grief counseling and…"
Youngatheart replied to NikkiPea's discussion Finding a grief counselor
"Check with your local Hospice center. Also check with the local catholic churches. My daughter saw a grief counselor for a few months before joining one of their groups for children who lost a parent. It helped her a lot. I…"
Comment Wall (7 comments)
- At 7:51pm on March 4, 2012,
danir0x said… Hi girl, I am doing well lately. I am just working very hard to keep up with my med school curriculum. If I remember correctly, you were starting a new job in the last few months, right? How is that going? How are you doing?
- At 6:14pm on January 22, 2012, danir0x said…
Hi Nikki, I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and I hope you are doing okay. I know it cannot be easy on you right now - your loss is so fresh, and this is about the time when the shock is definitely wearing off... and unfortunately it is replaced by pain and feelings of loneliness. Please know I am here for you any time you need.
- At 12:41am on January 11, 2012, danir0x said…
I know, right?! That's why this is such an amazing site... It just means so much to be able to connect to others who share our experiences, as difficult as they are, to read their stories, and support one another. Hope to chat with you !
- At 1:46pm on January 6, 2012,
Dianne in Nevada said… 
Your story touched my heart, Nikki. So much to deal with at such a young age. I'm happy you've found Widowed Village - and I see that you've joined some Groups and tried the Chat Room. Take a look at our Forum discussions, too, where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.
- At 9:37am on January 6, 2012,
CrazyWidow said… Glad to see you joined our group, widowed without children. Much love and hugs to you today as you battle this tough journey.
- At 3:36am on January 4, 2012,
srm541 said… Hi Nikki,
Welcome, so nice to chat with you tonight, please let me know if I help you in any way.. Take care,
Srm541 ( Sharon Matthews)
Bend , Oregon
- At 10:08pm on January 3, 2012,
Joyce said… Welcome Nikki, I'm sorry for your loss but glad you found your way to this site. I know you will find the same comfort and understanding here at WV that I have.
NikkiPea's Blog
A different kind of glow
Posted on January 8, 2013 at 10:59pm 3 Comments 0 Likes
This is something I wrote on my blog yesterday, and I thought that I'd share here as I'm sure many of you can relate. Just wanted to open up discussion or thought maybe it would help others get their thoughts together around this.
************
For the first time today in over a month I sat down and looked through pictures of Spencer and I. During the holiday season, my birthday, and the anniversary of his death I completely shut off all of my grieving emotions. Dealing…
Continue I wish... Lessons learned.
Posted on September 23, 2012 at 1:05am 2 Comments 1 Like
something I wrote to Spence tonight, thought I'd share:
***********************
One thing I wish that I would have been more in tune with when you were alive is what YOU wanted to go and do. If I regret one thing, it is that I never jumped up and got excited about the things that you expressed you wanted to do, or would enjoy doing if we were given the chance.
For example, two things that pop into my head, going to yard sales…
Just some writing...
Posted on August 26, 2012 at 3:33pm 6 Comments 0 Likes
I was feeling down and out a couple of weeks ago and just truly heart broken all over again and so I sat down and wrote. I was so happy for a friend of mine who just got a double lung and liver transplant, yet I was feeling really sad that my husband didn't get the chance. This is what resulted... I know that I can add so much to it... but I thought I post it as a blog just to record it and be able to look back on it for the book that I want to write.
My…
Continue Medical Records?
Posted on August 15, 2012 at 8:29pm 5 Comments 0 Likes
Just some thoughts and maybe I could get some input from the community...
I have been considering this for a couple of months, but never knew if I wanted to go through with it. But have any of you gotten, or considered getting, your husbands medical records?
Part of me wants to see Spencer's med records the last 3 months he was alive. For those who don't know, Spencer had cystic fibrosis and was in ICU those three months. Part of me wonders if it would allow…
ContinueNikkiPea's Photos
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