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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

NoMoreComplete
  • Female
  • Toronto, Ontario
  • Canada
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Surviving Widowhood

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http://survivingwidowhood.blogspot.ca/

Living with Emptiness

Thank you for this site. I look forward to getting more involved and hope that it helps somewhat. Saturday March 12th will be two weeks since my wonderful, beautiful, loving husband died and I am in utter turmoil. Food has lost its taste, life has lost its joy. I am living moment to moment right now and really don't understand what life is all about anymore.

NoMoreComplete's Blog

The H Word

Posted on May 4, 2016 at 9:00pm 4 Comments

I haven't been a big fan of the word "healing" since my husband died. That word just didn't sit right with me for a while. It felt too tidy, too neat. It didn't describe a way out of this mess to my shocked brain. I think I'm ready to take another look at it. I think I might be ready to give it a chance. If you ask me again tomorrow, I'll probably say something different but tonight, I'm setting an intention to heal.



I don't want to be stuck in this darkness forever. I do not want…

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He made the moon shine for me...

Posted on May 1, 2016 at 10:00am 3 Comments

I had somebody in this life who just had to look at me for me to see a universe of love.

His smile swirled around me and filled me with joy.

He soaked in my pain with the deepest empathy a human is capable of.

He brought out the best in me, a side of me that I didn't know existed before him. 

We held each other up, creating such a strong foundation that it felt like it would never crumble.

Part of our strength was that we were real.

He had…

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Who are you?

Posted on April 13, 2016 at 7:00pm 2 Comments

I look in the mirror

I don't recognize who is looking back at me

I am what's left

One side of the portrait



Is there beauty in pain?

Maybe, but the pain remains

I am half of what we were

No beauty of life can replace that



I am what remains

It is a very different view

I don't like it

But I must see it



You are so alive in my dreams

The waking world wants more

I can only survive

I can't offer what we…

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Where are you?

Posted on April 6, 2016 at 6:00pm 4 Comments

I write this as I listen to cars traveling in the snowy, slushy rain making that lovely swooshing sound that used to send a sense of calm through me. It is a calm that I can't quite capture through my grief but am reminded that it used to be there. It is unseasonably cold but I have the windows open anyway. I need the fresh air. Is it a coincidence that you leave me in the same year we don't get to have a spring? I don't know but it feels like the weather is mourning you too.



I…

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Comment Wall (5 comments)

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At 9:56am on January 5, 2017, ImTheMarigold said…

Just saw your post in the May-December group. I'm so sorry. I am experiencing so much of what you posted, it was comforting to see that someone else has felt that. 

At 4:00am on April 18, 2016, Sarah said…
Like you both, i send my thoughts. My husband was only 65 and i really never imagined life ithout him. We struggle everyday. It has been 10 weeks and it feels like yesterday, but it feels like a lifetime since i have kissed his lips
At 4:47pm on March 10, 2016, mrst said…

I feel like you are writing my life story too.  It's been almost 2 years for me and it still feels like yesterday.  Like you I thought my husband would live forever too even with our age difference of 21 years.  He loved and cherished me and when that is gone the world is such a cold place.  I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you.  Big hugs!

At 12:28pm on March 10, 2016, Ellie said…

I am so sorry for your loss. It is always a blow but you are still in shock. Please be gentle with yourself. I was almost nineteen years younger than my husband.  He had heart disease and lived much longer than the Doctor s thought he would. But it was still a blow. Fifteen years later, I am learning to find new interests, as many of the old just don't draw me any longer. It takes time to recover, and you will find a new you, stronger than you imagined. In a few months, take yourself on an overnight or weekend to a lovely B&B and have someone wait on you hand and foot. Go to a day spa and be spoiled. Mind and body. Comfort foods to nibble. This is the kind of healing we all need. It is a hard road but you will do well. Left behind is a  horrible feeling. But remember how he loved you. Invest in Kleenex. Tears are very healing but drink plenty of water. Our prayers are with you. Ellie

At 8:22am on March 10, 2016, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, NoMoreComplete. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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