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Surviving Widowhood

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Living with Emptiness

Thank you for this site. I look forward to getting more involved and hope that it helps somewhat. Saturday March 12th will be two weeks since my wonderful, beautiful, loving husband died and I am in utter turmoil. Food has lost its taste, life has lost its joy. I am living moment to moment right now and really don't understand what life is all about anymore.

NoMoreComplete's Blog

The H Word

Posted on May 4, 2016 at 9:00pm 4 Comments

I haven't been a big fan of the word "healing" since my husband died. That word just didn't sit right with me for a while. It felt too tidy, too neat. It didn't describe a way out of this mess to my shocked brain. I think I'm ready to take another look at it. I think I might be ready to give it a chance. If you ask me again tomorrow, I'll probably say something different but tonight, I'm setting an intention to heal.

I don't want to be stuck in this darkness forever. I do not want…


He made the moon shine for me...

Posted on May 1, 2016 at 10:00am 3 Comments

I had somebody in this life who just had to look at me for me to see a universe of love.

His smile swirled around me and filled me with joy.

He soaked in my pain with the deepest empathy a human is capable of.

He brought out the best in me, a side of me that I didn't know existed before him. 

We held each other up, creating such a strong foundation that it felt like it would never crumble.

Part of our strength was that we were real.

He had…


Who are you?

Posted on April 13, 2016 at 7:00pm 2 Comments

I look in the mirror

I don't recognize who is looking back at me

I am what's left

One side of the portrait

Is there beauty in pain?

Maybe, but the pain remains

I am half of what we were

No beauty of life can replace that

I am what remains

It is a very different view

I don't like it

But I must see it

You are so alive in my dreams

The waking world wants more

I can only survive

I can't offer what we…


Where are you?

Posted on April 6, 2016 at 6:00pm 4 Comments

I write this as I listen to cars traveling in the snowy, slushy rain making that lovely swooshing sound that used to send a sense of calm through me. It is a calm that I can't quite capture through my grief but am reminded that it used to be there. It is unseasonably cold but I have the windows open anyway. I need the fresh air. Is it a coincidence that you leave me in the same year we don't get to have a spring? I don't know but it feels like the weather is mourning you too.



Comment Wall (5 comments)

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At 9:56am on January 5, 2017, ImTheMarigold said…

Just saw your post in the May-December group. I'm so sorry. I am experiencing so much of what you posted, it was comforting to see that someone else has felt that. 

At 4:00am on April 18, 2016, Sarah said…
Like you both, i send my thoughts. My husband was only 65 and i really never imagined life ithout him. We struggle everyday. It has been 10 weeks and it feels like yesterday, but it feels like a lifetime since i have kissed his lips
At 4:47pm on March 10, 2016, mrst said…

I feel like you are writing my life story too.  It's been almost 2 years for me and it still feels like yesterday.  Like you I thought my husband would live forever too even with our age difference of 21 years.  He loved and cherished me and when that is gone the world is such a cold place.  I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you.  Big hugs!

At 12:28pm on March 10, 2016, Ellie said…

I am so sorry for your loss. It is always a blow but you are still in shock. Please be gentle with yourself. I was almost nineteen years younger than my husband.  He had heart disease and lived much longer than the Doctor s thought he would. But it was still a blow. Fifteen years later, I am learning to find new interests, as many of the old just don't draw me any longer. It takes time to recover, and you will find a new you, stronger than you imagined. In a few months, take yourself on an overnight or weekend to a lovely B&B and have someone wait on you hand and foot. Go to a day spa and be spoiled. Mind and body. Comfort foods to nibble. This is the kind of healing we all need. It is a hard road but you will do well. Left behind is a  horrible feeling. But remember how he loved you. Invest in Kleenex. Tears are very healing but drink plenty of water. Our prayers are with you. Ellie

At 8:22am on March 10, 2016, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, NoMoreComplete. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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