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Rebirth.Tanya (Tanya)
  • 52, Female
  • United States
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Rebirth.Tanya (Tanya)'s Discussions

Hold Your Sorrow Gently...

Started this discussion. Last reply by Spike Sep 11, 2012. 11 Replies

Time and change will get you through this, I promise...I've written a few responses to posts since I joined this weekend but I wanted to "officially" introduce myself to all of you with the hopes…Continue


Rebirth.Tanya (Tanya)'s Page

Profile Information

About Me...



I was 33 years old when I lost my firefighter fiance on 9.11, and I am the weepy widow who finds love again in the documentary, "Rebirth", which aired on Showtime for the tenth anniversary. The film captured strong glimpses of my journey through grief from 2002 -2009, and is being used as a tool to promote understanding of the nature of grief and resilience:

I am married now with 3-year-old and 4-yr-old daughters who have high-functioning autism. Life is busy, in a good way, and I will do my best to check in regularly and offer support where I can. I am honored to be a part of this community and hope to help young widows/widowers navigate the treacherous waters of Grief Ocean by sharing some of the wisdom I have gleaned from my experience. My heart goes out to all of you on the journey- you will get through it as you ride the tides of change, I promise...

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Rebirth.Tanya (Tanya)'s Blog

Deathwish...or wanting to grab life again?

Posted on February 24, 2013 at 6:24pm 5 Comments

I was 9 1/2 months out and it was the first anniversary of our first kiss/engagement anniversary and I wanted to do something to honor the day. Sergio had gone skydiving a few years before and he loved it so much I put it on my bucket list too. I brought one of my dearest friends who had every reason to live to jump with me- I prayed that if one of the parachutes was going to fail it would be mine. I clung to Sergio's prayer card and took the leap attached to the…


Sorry I are here to enrich the world.

Posted on February 4, 2013 at 7:09pm 5 Comments

Life got overwhelming from October until a few weeks ago- my energy was scattered in what seemed like a gazillion different directions and I didn't manage my time as well as I would have liked. There were so many times when I wanted to sign on and I either got sidetracked or got stuck in the how-do-I-jump-back-in-after-such-a-long-absence guilt. Please know that even though you haven't heard from me, my prayers for comfort, peace, strength, and love are with all of you always...

One… Continue

Bunny Wishes...

Posted on August 24, 2012 at 6:47pm 3 Comments

In the immediate aftermath of the September 11th attacks I began writing e-mail updates to keep my family and friends posted about the news regarding Sergio. Over time they evolved into a chronicle of my grief journey during the first two years or so and I am hoping to share some of them here in the coming weeks. I've seen a few posts lately about members receiving signs from their loved ones and I wanted to share my…


Ten years ago...

Posted on August 1, 2012 at 8:21pm 7 Comments

Ten years ago today would have been the day I married my beloved Sergio. It's amazing to me, thinking about how far I've come, after spending this afternoon happily splashing in the pool with my husband Ray and our two daughters. I love my peaceful and joy-filled life, and am so incredibly grateful to have the love of these two incredible men. For those of you early in the journey, I know it's almost impossible to imagine that you will ever feel peace again, but take it from me, time and…


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At 4:39pm on February 6, 2013, AEDforever (Ali) said…

Thanks Tanya..makin changes..movin forward..ugh..but yay!

At 12:08am on October 11, 2012, mariantym said…

I appreciate your messages very much. Thanks for liking my name, I'm from Guatemala but my family is Greek and so my grandfather gives us all unique Greek names. I was wondering if you happen to have Elaine's info in your record still. I keep dreaming of Carl, I dream that he's confused so I thought I'd like to talk to someone like her. Wish you the best and sending good energies to you and your family.


At 11:33am on September 11, 2012,
Soaring Spirits

Hi friend,

I'm thinking of you today. I hope you too are holding your sorry gently, and your kids, too.



At 7:39pm on August 29, 2012, mariantym said…

Thank you for writing to me Tanya. I have also been able to relate to you through your posts and articles, thank you for sharing. Things are going slow for me, started school again and every day is a hard path to walk through. I have been particularly inspired by your visit to the medium and what you were told, so sweet. I dreamed of Carl last night, we were slow dancing and I could feel him, in the dream it was before he deployed but I already knew he'd die so I asked what would you want if you die? (meaning how everything should be done) and he said, well, I'd want you to be happy. I can still feel his chest against my face from the dream. 

You are very inspiring, I hope all is well for you.


At 9:13pm on July 3, 2012, celestia (Suzanne) said…

back atcha girlfriend!

At 7:55pm on July 1, 2012, Jill said…

Thanks for sharing your love story with all of us. Beautiful.

At 6:36pm on June 19, 2012,
Soaring Spirits

Hope your birthday is precious today.

At 9:54pm on March 12, 2012, hendrixx2 said…

Hi Tanya, You're welcome, and Thank You for your comment on my post.  Although I had visited a few other sites, WV has proven to be the most comfortable for me.  Your wishes for our family are appreciated and I offer the same for your own.  I am gaining a great deal of understanding not only about grief and grieving, but also about myself as well. I hope you too, will find some measure of comfort here.  Wishing Peace and Healing for you...

At 9:31pm on March 11, 2012, Greggies Widow said…

Hi Tanya, I am so glad that you found widowed village and i am so glad you found our Unwedded Widows group. I hope that you find the support, encouragement and hope that you need here. This is a wonderful community with wonderful and supportive people who "get it". :) Hugs and love, B.

At 10:17pm on February 27, 2012, Lisa (lost) Lamb said…

Welcome Tanya, I'm so sorry for the loss of your fiance, and I want to say thank you to both you and him for paying the ultimate sacrifice. I have two son's in the Army and I thank them for putting their lives on the line everyday. I just don't think it's said enough. I'm also so glad that you are making something spiecal out of such tragity.


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