i am so sorry for your loss and that we even have to belong to this group that none of us asked to be members of. Like you, I have always thought of myself as a positive, glass half full, type of person. I have been thru the loss of my brother, and both my parents, so one would think I would know "the drill" By now.
While my other losses were devastating, this loss of my partner, the one I could count on for support in times of struggle, has really left me adrift in every aspect of my life. Because we were so close and did everything together, its like I'm having to learn myself all over again. I've been part of a couple my entire adult life and never expected that I would find myself alone at 52. Who am I? What do I do now? Daunting questions to be sure, but ones that I've told myself there is no rush to answer. another widow farther along the path then I am told me to just keep,putting one foot in front of the he other and life will happen. And you know she's right.
as I look back on this year coming to an end, the first full year I have been alone, I can look back and see how far I've really come although thinking of it day by day it might not seem like much. And I'm sure if you look back on your year as well you could probably say the same. We're both still here, and that is an accomplishment in itself. and maybe for right now,that is good enough.
Its funny you asked about pets because my screen name TJTango is based on my cat TJRay and my horse Tango who have really been what's kept me going. The cat I was given as a 5 week old kitten 2 weeks after my husband passed. I really credit him with saving my life. He forced me out of bed in the mornings, made me laugh with his antics, all the while my heart was breaking. Animals really are the best therapy I've found. I wish I had all the answers and that there was a timetable to shoot for, like when I reach this date, I won't hurt anymore. Unfortunately there is not, and im afraid on some level we are always going to hurt, that is just the price to pay for love, no way around it. . But the good news is it won't always hurt this bad. Baby steps.
Sarah - Yes, I'm in GA. And yes, it was out of the blue. In fact I still don't really know what happened. The GBI is not being helpful at all. I"m not dealing, not exactly, I'm avoiding dealing with the fact my husband is gone. But, the world doesn't stop spinning just cause my world shattered. So I'm moving forward because I can't not move.
Thankyou so much Sarah. It is so early for you...I didn't think I could survive it but here I am 3 years have passed and I have a new life. I too had terrible guilt and felt helpless to save him. A week before he told me he felt unwell but didn't know why...if only I had insisted he go to the doctor. I was very angry with his cardiologist as he had been having yearly check ups and had just had a scan and nothing was noticed. I think we all have these feelings with sudden death. He had a cardiac arrest. Keep yourself busy ..that helped me get through the early days. I hope you have some support from people who understand. A grief counsellor helped me. Yes if you have loved someone that much the pain never goes...it's a journey that you learn to live with. Hold on...it does get easier. But it's a long road. Hugs.
Welcome to Widville. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.