"Yep....people have no idea what to say or do ...and I guess it;s something we all just accept as part of the grief we feel......I also attend dinners ....with my family ..we talk about my daughter and husband...they are always mentioned...so are my…"
"Oh dear Barzan ..you aren't sounding selfish..we all have different situations in our lives that are so hard since we lost our spouses.....I am lucky to have 2 of my daughters and my 3 grandchildren on Thanksgiving, Christmas and usually Easter…"
"thank you Barzan for your great advise..you are right...I do the same thing...always praising and telling them I love them...I am always there when a conflict arises.....and also have had blood done when I had no vitamin D so I take 2000-3000 mg a…"
"Irishlady....wishing you the best...a prayer going up for you...this is what I do with my cranky daughter now...I more of less make the rules...just as you did.....you have things to bring to them, you'd like to take your grandson to…"
"marybarcelos.....thanks for writing back....I am so grateful I have both of my daughters...my youngest and I have had many a battle but she always comes to me with an apology and "I love you" ....so we are good....I have set boundaries and…"
"Irish Lady....I feel so bad....it makes life harder when your grown children aren't too nice and comforting to us...I lost my middle daughter 20 years ago at 21 in a horrible car accident...my husband passed on her birthday ....so it's a…"
"I hope you're well Sue.....it's hard to recup from surgery alone....I had cancer and a piece of lung removed , did great....then skin cancer twice ..the one that needed a chemo cream made my hair fall out, nausous always, and…"
Dear Angel, how I have missed you. I have not been fortunate to meet you at the chat room. I am fine mostly. Today incidentally is 19th month of Joan's passing. God has been good even though sometimes I still feel shortchanged. I hope you are doing well my dear friend. I chatted with Doug. He is married now. Cheers and I wish you better days ahead. Damian
Hey Slick, hope you're still there, just saying hello. The sun is shining and I'm gonna enjoy this beautiful long weekend we have - helping out a friend today and looking at some Art at the museum here in Denver tomorrow......Hope you are doing well. (Leendah)
hey slick, this is leendah, I'm trying to get back on Widowed Village, somehow it got checked not to receive Emails but nothing I'm doing to fix that is working.........so hoping you receive this...........I just had to put down both of my dogs within a week of each and have lost 2 friends since January, trying to hang in there..........not trying to be a Debbie Downer but this is what it is..........
oh yeah, slick, I've had multiple deaths in the last few years since Tom's death - 4 very good friends and others..........after awhile you just get kinda numb don't you............but then you really can't because you gotta live this life! And now I want to because there's someone in my life that's there for me and vice versa. so I'm gonna keep plugging along! I'm sending you good thoughts!
Slick - I always liked reading your posts, you are REAL AND AUTHENTIC.....tell it like it is. Wish I knew you to sit down and chat. But as my mom used to quote the song - Nobody ever promised us a rose garden.........I don't understand why moments of nostalgic sadness overwhelms me at times, when I'm mostly doing okay. But I have thought of moving/selling the house although neighbors want me to stay. But it's my life not theirs. So I might "get out of Dodge" one day...........It's risky for us but not impossible!
yeah I don't get it either, Slick........shouldn't we all be more compassionate to each other? I know what I've gone through has made me much more feelie-touchie........When I heard my friend had cancer (I hadn't seen him since my husband's funeral 2 years ago but he did call me a couple of times) I got a hold of him and visited and was so glad I did. Our friendship was still intact and after that I texted and called every day until his death at 2am this morning. So I see the fear of death and dying can go both ways - some people can't take any of it and some become more understanding......
hang in there Slick, you have helped me with comments you have made, I wish I could say something inspirational to you.......I know there are times when grief wants to overwhelm me and take me over and I won't let it - at a Santana concert several mos. ago Carlos Santana was speaking about Robin Wms. and said "don't let depression be your friend - there is too much light in the world........." I have taken those words to heart and try not to accept what is negative as something that has power over how I can feel............Sometimes I feel each day I get stronger but of course I have "slipping back" days too. But at least now I want to be that strong person everyone says I am - I want to give back to those who have helped me.
Slick - my heart goes out to you (and everybody else here). I'm not looking forward to "getting through the holidays" with all the Christmas stuff up (since Halloween!). We used to enjoy our Christmas mornings openings gifts slowly drinking coffee stopping for breakfast & opening pets gifts.......this is not my life anymore. thank God I am going to be with my sister and her family week after Christmas through the New Year. I don't think I could take all that time by myself. I wish I did have people like yourself to hang out with and comfort each other........but that's why we're on this page........Hang in there and I will too.
I miss the sharing with someone special too, Slick. I guess I tried doing that with some people that I was close to but it's not the same. So the best thing I can do that I've figured out is that is not something I can do right now but when I can - if there's someone out there in my future then I will appreciate it once again. right now it's enough that I have support through relatives and friends and neighbors. two friends of mine did not tell me it was their anniversary because they didn't want to upset me, but I assured them I wanted to be happy for them and what they had together.........