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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

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Solsticeowl
  • Female
  • Richardson, TX
  • United States
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Solsticeowl's Friends

  • jlsrdh
  • Melissa
  • Dianne in Nevada
 

Solsticeowl's Page

Latest Activity

Solsticeowl might attend Dianne in Nevada's event
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Hosted Chat Hour for our New Members (5pm Pacific; 8pm Eastern) at Widowed Village Chat Room

April 19, 2019 from 5pm to 6pm
Having trouble finding your way around? Have you wondered what this Camp Widow thing is all about?Have your PenPal matches worked out for you?Is there a Soaring Spirits regional social group near you?I'm the Widowed Village Administrator and plan to host a chat hour each month. It's a great opportunity for you to get some answers to your questions and to meet others in our Chat Room. Come on in!5pm PACIFIC6pm MOUNTAIN7pm CENTRAL8pm EASTERNSee More
Apr 14
Solsticeowl replied to jlsrdh's discussion Heard on old tv show. in the group Suddenly Widowed
"I am not there yet.  Other than his toothbrushes, I have not put up anything.  It gives me comfort to have his things near me.  Yet I know eventually I will have to.  I can't imagine the toll that will take."
Mar 26
Solsticeowl commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2019
"Oh Hilda, I am so sorry for your loss.  I also lost my husband on February 22nd unexpectedly.  I don't really know how to go on either, but having people here to listen and reply has helped tremendously.  I am hoping they are all…"
Mar 26
jlsrdh left a comment for Solsticeowl
"Solsticeowl I hope you find a grief counselor that fits your needs. I was fortunate that in the Phoenix area I had a lot of choices. How I managed to find my counselor looking online still amazes me. Marie is only a bereavement counselor. She…"
Mar 24
Solsticeowl replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Thank you for reaching out. Your words are a salve to me. I will look into that book.  I went to a counselor once so far - someone I have worked with in the past - and she suggested some kind of therapy (EMDR) where it sounds like you repeat…"
Mar 23
Solsticeowl replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Thank you Debbie.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can't really believe that it will get much better.  I still struggle with thinking I will see him again. The grandkids keep me going.  I am raising the one, and we get…"
Mar 23
jlsrdh replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Solsticeowl, I'm so very sorry for your loss and pain. My heart aches for you and that you now belong to this club: widow. Being angry is just a normal part of this awful thing called grief. I also found my husband on the floor 7 months ago.…"
Mar 22
DM (Debbie) replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"My husband was killed Nov 11, 2014 in a windstorm.   I found him when I got home from work, and did CPR although I knew it was too late.   We had been married 2.5 years & lived together almost 7 years too.   And yes, we also felt…"
Mar 22
Melissa replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Cristy, you are not losing your mind. You need to always remember that because it certainly feels as if you are. The hospital was hell, but it's mostly a blur now. I couldn't tell you what happened from day to day. Please keep writing.…"
Mar 22
Solsticeowl replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Melissa - yes!  That is exactly what I am feeling right now.  I am glad I found this group.  It took me a little while to build up the courage to post.  I often wonder if I am losing my mind.  But then I read some posts and…"
Mar 22
Melissa replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Solsticeowl, my heart aches for you. Your grief is so fresh and so unbearable. I found my husband on the floor as well, although he was technically still alive. He'd had a massive brain bleed. He died 13 days later. He's been gone a year…"
Mar 22
Solsticeowl replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"Thank you Roxi.  I know in my head that the world must go on, it is just my heart that doesn't understand.  I'm so sorry for your loss as well.  I can't imagine getting through next week much less a year.  Hugs to…"
Mar 22
Roxi replied to Solsticeowl's discussion How can the sun still shine? in the group Suddenly Widowed
"ciao sol i'm very sorry for your pain...it's so recent.. the only thing you can do is living your grief deeply...i lost my love one year ago and  in the first month after that i really believed that the world had to stop that the…"
Mar 22
Solsticeowl added a discussion to the group Suddenly Widowed
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How can the sun still shine?

I lost my husband on 2/22/19.  We had only been married 3 years and together almost 7, but it felt like we lived 20 years - happily - in that time.  The number of near misses of almost meeting is astonishing.  When we did meet, we were at a gathering of only 20 people.  The odds of both of us ending up at the same house are incredible.  He was the absolute love of my life and I am devastated. Our favorite thing was to go driving for the day or weekend and just talk.  We could and did talk about…See More
Mar 21
Dianne in Nevada left a comment for Solsticeowl
"Welcome to Widville, Solsticeowl. I'm so sorry for your loss, but pleased you found us. You’ll find caring support and friendship here. Join the Groups that fit you to find others that share your experience. Check out the Forum…"
Mar 19

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At 6:17am on March 24, 2019, jlsrdh said…

Solsticeowl I hope you find a grief counselor that fits your needs. I was fortunate that in the Phoenix area I had a lot of choices. How I managed to find my counselor looking online still amazes me. Marie is only a bereavement counselor. She published a workbook on grief and loss. I am tasked to answer questions in the chapters, plus she gives numerous handouts where you write what you are feeling on a topic. After “graduating “from individual counseling I’m now in her group death of a spouse class. Last month she gave us a article called. Grief’s Garden. The task was to write your reflections on this article. As I travel through my journey my answers change, as the acute grief passes. This I really see when answering the questions in the workbook, for a second time, months later. BUT it’s all hard, hard work. No, the life as I knew it will never be the same. The future plans we had discussed vanished the instant he died. Is it lonely now, absolutely. It was for 38 years just us. Most  of the time my tv is on so the house is not silent.  Am I getting out now, yes. I self isolated for about 3 months, only going to see Marie every week. Initially she suggest that when I go to like the drugstore to look the clerk in the eye and just acknowledge what they say to me. It’s all BABY STEPS.  In blogs section of widow village is a post Reflection, my answers to the Griefs Garden assignment for my grief class. If the sun is out take a walk, talk to him he hears you. 

Hugs

jlsrdh Julie

At 9:24pm on March 19, 2019, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, Solsticeowl. I'm so sorry for your loss, but pleased you found us. You’ll find caring support and friendship here.

Join the Groups that fit you to find others that share your experience. Check out the Forum Discussions and Chat Room for conversations on all sorts of topics. Share your story. You'll find the latest news on the HOME page.

 
 
 

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