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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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  • Male
  • Poway, CA
  • United States
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Steve's Friends

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  • Hawky (Rebekah)
  • shaunamont
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  • Howie gates
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Steve's Discussions

Anybody experiencing sexual problems with new spouse after being widower?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Sep 16, 2015. 4 Replies

Hi everybody. My name is Steve and I was partnered to the same man over 30 yrs, until his passing in 2009 from cancer. We were both in our teens when we committed to each other and I loved him very…Continue

Are you in process of moving on, creating a new life after the loss of your spouse?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Steve Jun 10, 2015. 18 Replies

Hello, my name is Steve and my long time male life partner passed in March 2009, from an 18 month battle with stage 4 colon cancer. We had just celebrated our 30th anniversary the prior January…Continue


Steve's Page

Latest Activity

Steve replied to Nieta's discussion Have you experienced any "God Winks" (i.e., messages) from your late spouse?
"Hi Marines girl! Thanks for sharing your xperiences. I dont know why, but since I was a child I have had a special or interesting relationship with nature, animals, so on. Have no idea why, I would be in the mountains at a lake, or in a cabin for a…"
Jul 18
Steve commented on lowrsr (Sherry)'s blog post Another Milestone
"Hi Sherry,im sending hugs to you on your 10 year anniversary date. These important dates, milestones are so tough to get through. Its been 8 yrs, 4 months since my partner passed and it has gotten easier, i no longer have to hide in bed to get…"
Jul 16
Steve replied to Riley's discussion just joined this group in the group Long-Term Illness
"Hi Moms Taxi, Riley, sad Sad survivor and Susan. I agree 150% that we here in WV are a wonderful, necessary sourse of needed support. I personally am so grateful for this site and the wonderful people here. I have relied heavily on this support…"
Jul 11
Steve replied to Riley's discussion just joined this group in the group Long-Term Illness
"Riley, you are so welcome, and i understand the tremendous pain, loss, devestation that happens when someone we love so much, passes. I dont feel there is anything wrong with whatever you feel, however you feel, we all have the right to grieve in…"
Jul 9
Steve replied to Riley's discussion just joined this group in the group Long-Term Illness
"Hi Riley, and everyone. Im so sorry, that you both had to go through this, and the hindsight, can be really brutal, and resentfull. I think, it may be normal, or part of our process to think about decisions that were made, how they turned out,…"
Jul 9
Steve commented on Soaring Spirits's group More Than One Loss (Multiple Losses)
"Hi Garys wife, and everyone. I can relate to your post so much. I decided that i needed to go back to work full time, money continues to grow tighter, and i also, quite frankley needed to get out of house, and get a life after almost 10 years of…"
Jul 8
Steve replied to Leeky's discussion The Long Good-Bye in the group Long-Term Illness
"Hi Leaky, and everyone. No judgement here at all. I know how difficult it is to walk this journey of loss and try to find some happiness, peace after. I also repartnered, in December of 2013, after my first partner passed March 1st 2009. Its been a…"
Jun 19
Steve commented on kellygreenstrat (Colin)'s blog post I've Answered My Own Question
"Awww, sorry Diane, didnt mean to make you cry. Im sure we all have these moments, stories, in our life, they are a strong testiment how lucky we are and blessed to have shared our lives with our loved ones. To have found someone, we wanted to stick…"
Jun 11
Steve commented on kellygreenstrat (Colin)'s blog post I've Answered My Own Question
"Hi Colin, thanks so much for your comment and thoughts, and for sharing that lovely story with you, your wife and son. Those moments are so special and seem to make life worthwhile. How amazing is that, she found that strength and was able to share…"
Jun 10
Steve commented on kellygreenstrat (Colin)'s blog post I've Answered My Own Question
"Hi Callie and Athena. Callie, you are so right, i feel the same way, what a high price we pay for love, not only if it works out but also if it Doesnt. Yes i truly belive its worth it too. Athena, thank you for your comment, im glad that story…"
Jun 10
Steve commented on kellygreenstrat (Colin)'s blog post I've Answered My Own Question
"Hi everyone, what beautiful thoughts and posts here. As i was reading over these posts again this morning, i was reminded of a really bittersweet, painful, yet beautiful memory i have with Mike, in his last weeks of life, i will cherish forever. Its…"
Jun 10
Steve commented on Steve's blog post Still miss Mike
"Hi Danielle and Happylilycat.  Thanks so much for your thoughts, and heart felt words.  I truly appreciate them.  I'm so grateful for our site here.  I don't think anyone else would understand these situations, but…"
May 26
Steve replied to Nieta's discussion Have you experienced any "God Winks" (i.e., messages) from your late spouse?
"Awwww so cute, Chris and i collect Teddy bears, and have them around our home. My nickname for Chris, is "cubby" ."
May 26
Steve replied to Nieta's discussion Have you experienced any "God Winks" (i.e., messages) from your late spouse?
"Hi Nieta, thanks so much for your reply. Yes, I agree, all animals in my opinion, have that gift. The story about uncle hank is great! I believe the same. Take care,"
May 26
Danielle commented on Steve's blog post Still miss Mike
"Gorgeous post, Steve. The heart wants what the heart wants, isn't that what they say?  It sounds to me like you've done all you possibly can, to be honest with yourself and with the man beside you now. And he's made his choice,…"
May 26
happylilycat commented on Steve's blog post Still miss Mike
"What an absolutely beautiful tribute to your Mike.  It moved me to tears, and I needed a good cry this morning, so thank you for that!  I also appreciate your searing honesty about how complex your relationship with Chris is, and it's…"
May 26

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Steve's Blog

Still miss Mike

Posted on May 19, 2017 at 9:55am 7 Comments

I am now over 8 years out from the most horrific day of my life, when my best friend, life partner, love of my life, passed on March 1st, 2009, 8 days after his 50th birthday. We had met in our mid teens, fallin in love almost immediatly, and were inseparable from that point on. We shared over 30 years together and were in process of planning our retirement in a few years when Mike was diagnosed with stage 1 colon cancer out of the blue at a regular, 6month checkup. Although colon cancer is now… Continue

Overwhelmed with loss and new life

Posted on March 2, 2016 at 8:27am 9 Comments

Hi everyone. I've been feeling very overwhelmed with life's changes lately. Also have been extremely reflective of my past. I am currently 53, turning 54 in April. As I look back over my life, starting back in my early childhood, the overall feeling I have is gratitude, grateful for the people I have known and loved, grateful for most of the characters that have entered and left my life. I have had many, many wonderful, crazy, fun experiences, experienced such tender love, have truly been so… Continue

Comment Wall (12 comments)

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At 6:39am on August 22, 2016, Slick said…

Steve I feel like we have been friends for many life changes and hurts we both have been through...

At 3:54pm on May 2, 2015, Hornet (Cindy) said…

Hello, Steve. Thank you for the nice comment on my post. I am about 20 months out...that seems so strange typing that number...20. It surprises me how unreal it still feels...almost 2 years out. Before it was me in these shoes, I would have thought the 'new' life would have taken over by now. Now I know.

I was reading your posts and understand that your Mike passed several years ago. Isn't it a miraculous thing how two human beings can meld together so completely at the heart? And when one goes, how completely it devastates the other? I was so spiritually wounded when Rick died, I could hardly speak. And now, here I am...just floating around. (That's how it feels...just floating.)

I wish you peace, Steve. Peace and love and healing.

At 8:16am on February 22, 2015, rosamore (Kamala) said…

Hello Steve,  I have been reading your posts since I joined WV last year.  My husband passed away three months ago.   Your posts are so uplifting with positive thoughts which I surely need it. So happy to read you found someone that you are happy again.  That is wonderful. Keep posting positive posts it will lift everyone spirit.  

At 9:37am on January 5, 2015, Markus said…
Nice to meet you steve
At 11:49am on June 28, 2014, Patience (Diane) said…
Steve, read your post on the 2009 board about your parents. My mom is home and my step dad is in the nursing home. I don't think you need a lawyer to do what your lawyer friend suggested. You can do it on your Own. Take Mom with you and go to the Board of social services, or wherever in California is the equivalent to the NJ board that puts people on Medicaid. My 83 year old mom actually did it on her OWN with barely any help from me. I was just her cheerleader and helper. I'll be happy to answer any of your questions. Diane
At 6:35pm on December 17, 2012, Hopeful said…
Steve, he is leaving you signs! Gives me goosebumps. Wow. I pray for signs every day. When we are open to them, I believe we will receive them. I loved the blue hair story... those memories are gifts. Take good care.
At 6:18pm on November 8, 2012, MissingRKK said…

Steve, your writing is so magnificent. I pounce on your posts--for your open-heart, your honesty, your humor, your willingness to go deep and not hold back. You have a gift and you feel like a gift to me. I thank you, dearly.

Carrie (MissingRKK)

At 7:51am on September 28, 2012, Suz said…

Thanks, Steve. i love reading what you have written. I m such an emotional person at heart but my husband was a bit of a large figure (in small circles). The honoring has gone on for six months and I am having the hardest time grieving despite the fact I loved him so deeply. It helps me to have you share your real feelings.


At 6:06am on August 31, 2012,
Soaring Spirits

Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
site founder and admin

At 6:17pm on August 24, 2012, desertdweller87 said…

Hi Steve, I cannot seem to find you in the LGBT forum so thought I would post here. I am glad you found us and I am sorry for your loss and the hectic journey you have been through since your partner died. I was a caregiver as well for Karen for almost 10 years. Post whenever you feel the need and someone will respond. Hugs!


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