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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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SweetMelissa2007's Page

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SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Rainy & Shelly,Its a long process to acceptance ...Intellectually, death seems as if it would be quite easy to grasp, however, the testament to it not being true is the body automatically goes into shock to protect from the true pain of loss.…"
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Viola's discussion Um No Title
"(((Denise))) They happen b/c grief is still present - precious memories make us yearn for everything about our deceased loved one as well as our old life ... The one thing about grief is deciding what to do about it - there is no charted or linear…"
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Ninie's discussion The Love Of My Life Died at 24
"(((Hugs Annie)))It truly seems inconceivable for anyone to lose their life at such a young age while others live on into old age. Its always a shock for everyone, but not as devastating for those outside a cathected relationship ...When I became…"
SweetMelissa2007 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Contradictions
"Hi Tony,Contradictory - yes :-(Extreme stress & grief cause the Big 6: dazed, disoriented, distracted, disorganized, distressed & distraught ...By far the strangest if not worst contradiction is in thinking the loss of our most cherished…"
SweetMelissa2007 commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Painful...Routine
"Tony,My answers to your questions are that I did the time while working on areas of my grief that were in need of attention ...I rarely if ever read a specific plan by others to cope w/grief for this long term journey - most of it was day to day…"
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Mike's discussion Making new friends in the group Widowed in 2017
"Shoosie,There's nothing bad about taking time out to convalesce. It doesn't lead to life as a hermit or agoraphobia - its doing what is best for you. Forced socializing is like running w/a broken leg. If you notice the advice tips for…"
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"(((Hugs Nayajiva)))Are you sure you are having suicidal thoughts? I had thoughts of wanting to die from overwhelming grief & stress b/c I didn't know to cope w/the death of my husband. I contemplated dying everyday for months, but not…"
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Shoosie2's discussion Has Anyone had any 'Strange' things happen in your house since your spouse passed? in the group Widowed in 2017
"You are very welcome! Sharing these experiences keeps everyone from thinking they're hallucinating which by the way is possible when over tired. For myself, I still get signs from Bob at any time no matter what my mood is ... BTW, the cruise…"
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Shoosie2's discussion A Ton of Bricks in the group Widowed in 2017
"(((Shoosie))) Its not denial preventing acceptance - it takes time - years for your entire being - heart, body & soul to adjust to the fact of your loved one's death. Even telling yourself the two of you will be together again takes time to…"
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Shelley,Yes, try using those words again & again & again ...My saying was "I did the best I could" - I said it for every guilt feeling till I felt deeply in my gut as well as intellectually accepted it was the undeniable truth. I…"
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"This is true, a therapist might be able to offer assistance, however, if all that is offered is criticism than it is of no help. Therapists sometimes use anger to direct/push people to resolve issues on their own. Its better to directly ask for…"
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Shelley, In your time, you will break the glass ceiling on survivor's guilt. Its not something you can just let go off - it takes lots of work to rebuild your self confidence. The shoulda, coulda, woulda guilts are part of rebuilding - they…"
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Aly brabham's discussion Is it normal to keep items around your house of theirs
"I just had another thought about this subject. It would be far more strange if not abnormal to remove all his belongings - mostly pictures ... It would be like erasing him, your marriage & past ... Sooner or later you will have to find a way to…"
Apr 16
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"(((Hugs Shelley & Melissa))) This is a long journey - they are words that eventually become bearable to hear. Unfortunately, grief gets worse before it gets better. It's difficult as well as confusing to get an understanding of how grief…"
Apr 13
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Mel's discussion What is the most comforting thing someone has said to you since your loss?
"Two weeks after Bob's death as I walking on the beach of NAS North Island, a Vietnam widow came up me & other widows individually to say, "Be w/those that understand you - now go back to your rooms & your homes to console…"
Apr 10
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Melissa's blog post Home Alone
"Try to arrive at camp early to give yourself some time to regroup just in case grief over rules your desires. Regardless of the closeness of a venture, I arrived hyper or confused or drained of energy - sometimes I tried to cancel out at the last…"
Apr 10

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SweetMelissa2007's Blog

March For Our Lives" ...

Posted on March 24, 2018 at 6:00pm 0 Comments

"March For Our Lives" ...…


I hate June 7th ...

Posted on June 7, 2017 at 3:08pm 3 Comments

Today is Bob's 10th year anniversary ...

Today our 23 year old daughter was diagnosed with MS ...

Today my 32 year old nephew was diagnosed with tumors on his pituitary gland ...

Two days after Bob's death, I had a dream of my daughter & nephews w/ravens flying around ...

Never could figure out why this particular nephew was in the dream instead of his brother who died 9 months prior ...

Not only is today's date darker, it is sadly more meaningful…


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At 1:19pm on March 27, 2018, MartyG said…

Thank you for your insightful comment to my blog "An Epiphany". While it was addressed toBay (a wonderful lady who I have chatted with in the MCR), I also felt assured reading it!! SO..thank you :)

At 8:22am on March 10, 2016, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, SweetMelissa2007. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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