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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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SweetMelissa2007's Page

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SweetMelissa2007 replied to Raven2017's discussion Group Grief Therapy- Good or bad?
"Yes, desperation ... It was also quite the adjustment for me to become a single parent & breadwinner ... However, their salivating convinced me that they wanted more than a cook/housekeeper/babysitter ... I learned a number of shocking lessons…"
Sep 12
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Raven2017's discussion Group Grief Therapy- Good or bad?
"My 11 & 13 year olds were w/me both times at the 2 different churches - they recognized each time what these men were doing as well as stood frozen in horror when their kids ran up to us asking if I could cook or when were we coming over or if I…"
Sep 11
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Lindi's discussion Stepson expected more in my husband's will; he is harassing me
"(((HUGS))) I was once told people tend to look like vultures after a death ... Uh, no, they act like vultures ... Regardless, if his anger is at Dad for whatever reason(s), you're caught in the middle & it's not your problem ... No…"
Sep 10
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Susan's discussion Afraid Of Older Son's Reaction To Mom
"As they say, timing is everything ... I recall many widow/ers ready to date were questioned about their love for their Mom or Dad ... Even though dating is an individual choice, children, no matter their age, need their time to grieve ... Changes…"
Sep 10
SweetMelissa2007 replied to newlife's discussion Staying in the marital home or moving elsewhere?
"It will get better as you process the pain & memories ... If I recall, it took at least a couple of years for Bob-O's belongings to fade into the background to not cause triggers ... Painting & redecorating seems to be helpful. I did…"
Sep 10
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Hornet (Cindy)'s blog post Hornet…Just As It Should Be
"Sounds like it worked just right for you!  ;') I wore a widow ring for about 6 years, it had an inner working band I could turn. I loved it. It was like a security blanket for a couple of years, then it became a habit to wear. It was all…"
Sep 10
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Raven2017's discussion Group Grief Therapy- Good or bad?
"My best help was from widows I met on an on-line website for the widowed. They became my grief buddies for more than 5 years in talking almost on a daily basis. These gals simply became friends during the worst times of my life ...Its been fun…"
Sep 10
SweetMelissa2007 replied to newlife's discussion Staying in the marital home or moving elsewhere?
"That feeling will subside, its just part of grief in that no matter where you go or what you do - you will miss & grieve her ... Right now, you're raw & highly sensitive, however, it doesn't last forever even though in the moment…"
Sep 9
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Gunnerx2's discussion Defining Me
"Just to let you know, a soul mate connection is a cathexis ... It's a unique spiritual & emoltional bond unlike any other - far different from a relationship w/our children, parents, siblings or best friend ... Some people lose the…"
Sep 9
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Fluffycat52's discussion What scares me
"(((Hugs Fluffycat))) The cycle of constant thinking, getting lost in those thoughts & the melt down is involuntary crazy making as well as wearisome in winding down life as we knew it ...Bob-O & I never discussed or planned for…"
Sep 9
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Jill's discussion What's scaring you these days?
"One thing to look forward to when grief ends is that the fears do, also ... By that time, you have learned to cope w/issues on your own ..."
Sep 3
SweetMelissa2007 commented on mls64 (Mike)'s blog post Separating emotion from logic...
"Grief defies logic, but not reason ... We are naturally driven to try to make sense of death - to explain why there was no control in the uncontrollable ... One part I had grave difficulty with was survivor's guilt - blaming myself for his…"
Sep 2
SweetMelissa2007 commented on The Hungover Widow's blog post Patton Oswalt: Why does it take a celebrity to talk about widowhood?
"A good many people view celebrities some how as super humans - the thought is that nothing effects them like it does common folk ... I can understand the outrage by some widow/ers - it leads others to push to date/re-marry as a cure for grief…"
Sep 2
SweetMelissa2007 replied to mls64 (Mike)'s discussion Family and friends distance ?
"(((HUGS mls64))) Widow/ers get a new phone book after the death of their spouse ... Sadly, it is quite common for family & friends to vanish into thin air for a numBerkeley of reasons whether or not they make sense or are acceptable ... Some…"
Sep 2
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"(((HUGS Weigh Anchor))) Try calling the medical examiner to ask what has been found as well get answers to questions you may have - be sure to mention the sounds your husband was making ... Too many people assumed the sounds my husband was making…"
Sep 2
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"WithoutJim, From grieving their stepfather, it sounds as if it's dawned on them that you could suddenly die, too .. .They want to keep spending time & making memories w/you ... That is lovely & heartwarming ..."
Jul 16

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SweetMelissa2007's Blog

I hate June 7th ...

Posted on June 7, 2017 at 3:08pm 3 Comments

Today is Bob's 10th year anniversary ...

Today our 23 year old daughter was diagnosed with MS ...

Today my 32 year old nephew was diagnosed with tumors on his pituitary gland ...

Two days after Bob's death, I had a dream of my daughter & nephews w/ravens flying around ...

Never could figure out why this particular nephew was in the dream instead of his brother who died 9 months prior ...

Not only is today's date darker, it is sadly more meaningful…


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At 8:22am on March 10, 2016, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, SweetMelissa2007. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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