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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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SweetMelissa2007's Page

Latest Activity

SweetMelissa2007 commented on tifacola's blog post Being the only, disgruntled parent...
"[[[HUGS]]] I thought that of myself after Bob died. I was so overwhelmed w/being responsible for everyone & everything. I was angry, frustrated & just beat up on myself daily. My bond w/the kids had become fractured & my grief was so…"
May 18
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Anna's discussion Early morning sadness
"I did the same as you ... Grief would not allow me to do anything till the afternoon when the grief for the day was discharged; it's purdy much a daily event for some time ... The more it's released, the more changes you will notice in…"
May 13
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Unfortunately, we learn things as we walk this path ... Insurance companies are far more receptive when an attorney files the claim ... Bob's life insurance & the driver's insurance both paid out w/in 30 days of his death at a cost of…"
Apr 21
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Imogen's discussion Stupid People
"I thought of this thread today when I was reminded of a woman who said to me, "That poor boy will have to live w/it the rest of his life. I'll pray for him to heal"  This was in response to telling her ìt was 3 months…"
Apr 17
SweetMelissa2007 replied to lisa72's discussion The Nice Things People Say
"Bob & I were together 28 years ... It was not long enough ... Nor does it seem like it was that long in terms of years ... Sometimes, I have to look at our wedding pictures to remind me of our youth as well as other pictures of all the years in…"
Apr 17
SweetMelissa2007 commented on mom'staxi's blog post No place to fit
"It might sound strange when I say you are barely 5 years out ...As much as widows further out try to spare the reality of the length of grief, there are times it needs to be revealed. When I became widowed, it was easy to find lots of Web info…"
Apr 13
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Hi Seashell, That business of losing time was just another little aggravation ... I came to find I was moving slower than normal. Not matter if I set my clock ahead, showered before bed, set out clothes for the next day - I just wasn't able to…"
Apr 8
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Imogen's discussion Stupid People
"This really made me bust out laughing! Not in making light of your grief, but remembering how often I wanted to punch or choke people down or the many ways I visualized causing them pain or wanting to shout be-outch then later say, "I…"
Apr 5
SweetMelissa2007 replied to Angela's discussion Sudden loss
"My longing for Bob intensified whenever I saw couples w/young kids or those in their 40s, 50s, 60s, etc ... Families going camping or retirees in RVs or the newly widowed who w/their loved longer than Bob & myself - it all pretty much sucked. It…"
Apr 4
SweetMelissa2007 replied to NoLongerInBergenJC's discussion Paying it forward -- does it help you?
"Early on I thought it was best to pay it forward, but I quickly learned from their dependence on me in knowing all the answers it was compounding my own grief. I learned having grief buddies who relied on other sources was more helpful for all of…"
Apr 3
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"(HUGS SISSY) That's how it's done. It's a back & forth motion that ends when the process of letting go of the cathexis is completed. The overbearing emotions need to be released whenever possible as often as possible. I was still…"
Apr 3
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Sounds like many you are going through the process of letting go as well as being okay w/it ... Most all of grief is about "you"; what you think, how you feel, learning to make decisions for yourself, caring for you, comparing the new self…"
Apr 1
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Maddieluv's blog post Will we ever be okay?
"At 3 weeks out, the cold feeling is shock. Going through the motions while not feeling present is called dissociation. Both of these mean your mind & body are simultaneously reacting to this highly stressful situation by automatically going into…"
Mar 29
SweetMelissa2007 replied to iluvmyrandr's discussion How long...
"Crying, staying in bed & skipping out on church are normal. There were times I lay in bed too weak to get up - wishing I had a colostomy bag. I had to make myself fall off the bed to crawl to the bathroom - it was irritating to have to deal…"
Mar 29
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Terry,  I was angry w/everything, everyone, but nothing or no one in particular. I'd get angry from being distracted from my anger as well as pisst off for being pisst off. That all consuming grief/anger took over my brain. I did &…"
Mar 28
SweetMelissa2007 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Road trips/vacations lost all appeal when they were no longer personal time spent alone w/my Bob-O ... It takes time to grow into everything that is new & different while the old life is grieved as it makes its way slowing into the memory…"
Mar 27

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At 8:22am on March 10, 2016, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, SweetMelissa2007. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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