"H2017...this is definitely a difficult time of year and it does not seem to matter if one has had the benefit of a few Christmases since the loss. Like you, this time of year has the added stress for me of reliving the whole process that began…"
"You are completely normal Sasha...there probably isn't a person here who has not experienced the big mood swings! Laughing one minute, angry enough to kill the nearest person next thing and then bawling like a baby after that.…"
"Pat, so much of your story echos mine that hearing you describe your feelings was a little painful. By this I mean that it did bring back the hurt but also made me hurt to be reminded that others are feeling it too. I can't imagine…"
"LadyLipstick...like you, I approached the first anniversary with a feeling of apprehension. In a way I wanted the year to be over while at the same time I knew that the year would remind me how much time I had been without my wife. When I look back…"
"Midnight Bear, first I want to say how sorry I am that you have reason to be here. Having said that,I am really glad you are! One week is so terrifyingly new to this experience for you. I remember so well the same journey less than three years ago.…"
"only1sue...I can also relate. On my fourth day of retirement, I ended up in the emergency room resulting in a course of treatment that lasted nine weeks! Although I fought the feelings at the time, I felt very alone through the whole…"
"Nickdanny...you may not realize it yet but you don't have to hope that at some point you will post something that will help someone. The fact that you just posted is helping others who are new to this whole thing. It has now been almost 32…"
"Every once in a while when things are going along fairly smoothly, it seems that we get a bit of a reality check just to remind us of what we are dealing with. Tonight as I was changing from day clothes into something more comfortable and relaxing,…"
"I made that trip to the jeweler's today to get the rings linked. When I walked through the door, I had no doubt that I was doing the right thing. I explained to the clerk what I was wanting. She asked me if next Friday would…"
"Evolving...thank you so much for putting it in perspective for me. I guess the practical side of me was trying to justify not 'burying' them which would almost feel wasteful. Yes, they are a part of our history and shall remain…"
"Sometimes what seems like a great idea becomes a source of stress when faced with actually doing it. I have an appointment with the jeweler tomorrow. When my wife passed over 2 1/2 years ago, I decided to have our rings opened up and…"
"Love that thought as well. My family has already been instructed that when I die, our ashes are to be combined into one urn with our wedding rings that I have had opened up and interlocked. It will be so good to be home again:)"
"It seems there has been a bit of a resurgence in posting for Widowed in 2015 group. Probably like many of you, I always read the new postings but seldom comment anymore. I am not entirely sure why. I can identify with the feeling…"
I saw your post about flashbacks, and it is so crazy - I have been having very minor ones since Fitz died in March, but this morning I was laying in bed, thinking about getting up, and it suddenly hit me. I saw him laying down in the guest bedroom, I stepped away to go get some water or something & then I heard him call out, "Baby, help!" I ran back into the bedroom saw him vomiting, turned him on his side, and ran for my phone to call 911. The vividness with which it came rushing back was startling. Like you said, it actually knocked the air out of me. I sympathize, man, that was intense!
Hi, Terry........thank you so much for asking. Actually it was quite a calm day. I had planned out the day so that I would be with friends. The day started with a "visit" from my dear husband who is still watching out for me. I had a friend coming over at 9 a.m. and set my alarm for 8:15. At 8:25 I had a dream and distinctly and absolutely heard my husband's voice say "Hey, aaaaaa" (like are you going to get up or not?) I looked at the clock and the alarm hadn't gone off. So, I thanked him and wished him a happy birthday. The friend who came over for coffee and to chat is a widower (actually my handy man) who lost his wife 1 1/2 years ago. It was nice to talk with someone with whom I could relate. Later in the day 2 good friends of mine took me to dinner (I actually laughed a bit) and then to a movie. Lots of people left loving notes on my husband's FB page as well as mine, so I felt love from all around. The day couldn't have gone any better, except for my husband actually being here to celebrate his own birthday. Today I'm feeling a bit tired; probably just a let down. Today is the 11 week mark. I know some bad days are inevitable, but I hope they are fewer. So sorry for the loss of your wife. Thank goodness for this forum where we can connect, relate, and gain strength and and understanding.
Thanks Terry. I started writing it more for my own therapy than anything, then realized that others were feeling the same. It amazes me that there are so many similarities in this awful place, despite it being unique to every one.
I'm glad it was able to ease you a bit. This is a very lonely road to travel, despite all the friends and support.
Terry, So sorry to hear about your Wife passing. I can't imagine the pain you felt and are still feeling by not being able to be there when she passed. Take comfort in knowing that she knew you loved her dearly.
Welcome to Widville. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.