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Tjtango
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Tjtango commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"I’ve been blessed in while I have many regrets, I have not been burdened with guilt.  I told myself from the very beginning that I was not going to take that on. My husband Ray died as a result of complications from an outpatient neck…"
Apr 18
Tjtango commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
" I remember watching an episode of greys anatomy where one of the characters had just lost their mother and was being held and comforted while she cried.  I just started crying, staring at the tv, , thinking that not once since my husband…"
Apr 16
Tjtango commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Shelley,  it is coming up on two years for me.  I can look back on things now and see how far I’ve come when at the time I had trouble just making it thru the day.  My widowed sister in law said these words to me “ just…"
Apr 13
Tjtango commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"I am coming up on the two year mark in May, and I must say I am nodding my head in agreement with everything I am reading on here.  Especially the anxiety, I’m not sure where that is coming from but it definitely seems to be the new…"
Mar 30
Sarah left a comment for Tjtango
"I get you.  I get it.  Like you, in the last 4 years it had been my mom, my father-in-law, my husband(the struggle), my oldest brother and now my other brother is going downhill quickly from congestive heart failure. Like you, I have…"
Dec 20, 2017
Sarah left a comment for Tjtango
"Tjtango I am sorry that we both share in this blah vision of daily life.  I am sorry for your loss and I am sure that it has been tragic in the sense that not only was it ROUTINE, but sudden. I have never been like this and always an optimist.…"
Dec 18, 2017
Tjtango commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"Hi Sarah,  your comments really resonated with me.  I am 19 months out from losing my best friend and partner of 30 years. Ray had complications after what was supposed to be a "routine" outpatient surgery.  . While my life…"
Dec 18, 2017

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At 4:11am on December 20, 2017, Sarah said…

I get you.  I get it.  Like you, in the last 4 years it had been my mom, my father-in-law,

my husband(the struggle), my oldest brother and now my other brother is going downhill quickly from congestive heart failure. Like you, I have horses that I have had for almost 20 years, but I don’t ride much.  My zest is gone, but maybe this spring.  I have at this time 6 dogs that definitely made me get out of bed everyday, but I did not sleep for a very long time and dropped 30lbs which is coming back slowly.   

People think I should be lonely, but I am only lonely for him.  I am ok alone with my pets 

one of my kids moved back from Germany this year and it is nice to be with her a day or two, but she has a life and so do my other kids. My oldest is deployed and my youngest lives an hour away so we visit about 2-3 times a month as she works.  I want to smile more than here and there, but you are right.  I never imagined I would smile again.

I wish I could be happy like before and my fear is that this is my new normal and

that I will not be that happy person.  I know the first year was a blur for me and I am sure that you get that.  I hope that you are not alone during the holidays and feel free to reach out, but you seem to have a level clear  head and a kind heart  so hopefully you have people/family to at least share with.  I am an intelligent, articulate, person and yet I feel “less than” in every way without him.

btw...where about do you live?  You can email me at [email protected]

At 7:10am on December 18, 2017, Sarah said…

Tjtango I am sorry that we both share in this blah vision of daily life.  I am sorry for your loss and I am sure that it has been tragic in the sense that not only was it ROUTINE, but sudden. I have never been like this and always an optimist. It has taken me all this time to even hope for some light.  I long for optimism and light, rather than what I am.  I am stuck behind a wall that I cannot find y way around, over or thru. I feel that there is something, but I do not know how to get there.  I hope you are further along than I am with seeing the light and brightness, but even that is not far enough to where we long to be.  Thank you for responding and I hope you have some family, friends or pets that are there for you

Sarah

At 9:20am on May 19, 2017, Patience (Diane) said…
Welcome to Widville, Tjtango. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Click the "help" link at the top of the page. You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. And the "chat room" is open 24/7.
Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.
 
 
 

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