"Monday the 10th marks three months since my husband died. This week has been really difficult. Yesterday, I woke up and just could not get out of the house to go to work. Got the kids ready, dropped them off at school and came…"
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TrippinToni
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How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
Started this discussion. Last reply by Houston92 Sep 6, 2012. 12 Replies 0 Likes
I am a Zombie. Alive on the outside. Dead on the inside.
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Houston92 replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
aussiewidow replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"My husband died three and a half months ago and for the moment at least I'm out of the "fog" that surrounded me in the first couple of months.
I hope it doesn't come back. I'm definitely not dead on the inside. There is life…"
bj628(Bonnie) replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"Yes I feel the same.. going through the motins of life.. things I have to do.but no real emotions inside. like someone built a brick wall around my heart. It is beating and I am moving. I am thankful for my daughter, grandson.. and of course I…"
Mrsbigdog80 replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"This is exactly how I feel. I was afraid to say that word wondering if people would think I was a freak. Being empty on the inside is how I feel. I wonder how long it will be before I can feel again. Some times I think I don't want to feel and…"
Nikki S replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"It took a good 3 years I would say for me to start really coming out of the "fog". I think we all handle it in a very personally way and our time frames will of course be different, but it will clear and you will feel like a person again.…"
chez2all replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"How long is a piece of string...same answer...
It takes as long as it takes and can't be rushed through i've found over the years. 2nd time for me so I'm finding myself viewing this journey slightly differently this time...I…"
little_birdie (Beth) replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"This is pretty much how I feel right now. It's like I'm disconnected from my own life or something. It's very weird, and I keep having to bring myself back to the present moment. Meditation helps, but I can't sit and meditate all…"
Juliana replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"That's a very good description of the pain and sadness you feel. I love the night because that means I've made it through another day."
annm1980 replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"I don't know if this is the same thing, but most of the time, I feel like nothing is real. It's like I'm watching someone else's life or a movie. It's been 14 months and I've had this feeling for most of…"
TrippinToni replied to Janine (txmomx6)'s discussion What's something you wish you had asked before your spouse died?
"I wish I would have asked him to take care of his will. I did ask and he just said take care of it. I didn't. He died. And I am fighting an ugly, expensive succession battle with his children. I would also have liked to have known if he wanted…"
the rose replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"You're not alone. I feel the same way, although not the zombie comparison, but like a boat just circling around in the water, not able to reach the destination. I feel enveloped in fog, unable to see where our life is going, what…"
Cristina replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"Marsha and Toni, me too. Over 15 months, and I can't believe, or well, I can, how bad I still feel. This is the pits.
And yeah, there are days when it's a little better, thankfully. Then, kablowy, right back…"
Marsha replied to TrippinToni's discussion How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
"Wondering the same thing too Trippin Toni. Some days think I'm ok.....other days not so good. Feel empty and wonder where I belong. Just going on 1.5 years and still trying to figure things out. It's a long process. Go through the motions…"
TrippinToni replied to Supa Dupa Fresh's discussion Was your relationship less than perfect?
"My husband may have not been perfect, but he was perfect for me. I told him every day . I could not believe I found my soul mate. We made each other better people. We enjoyed the same things. Laughed at the same things. Broke…"
TrippinToni posted a discussion
How long does it take to rid the zombie thing, I feel like a walking Zombie. Alive on the outside dead on the inside.
I am a Zombie. Alive on the outside. Dead on the inside.
TrippinToni commented on Kathy H's blog post Five years today!
"Tell him you will get over it when you stop loving him and that will probably be never. We go on because we have to, not because we want to."
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Comment Wall (9 comments)
- At 7:58am on March 15, 2012,
job4348 said… Thank you for your friend request. Hope maybe we can help each other along the way. I have a mantra that I use'it's: "look up,give thanks for what has been and what is to be."
A few months after Jerry passed I was walking on a trail and crying looking at the ground when suddenly I HEARD(didn't imagine) I actually heard "Brenda ,look up" I stoped dead in my tracks and looked around--no one but me and the trees. then the give thanks for what has been and what is to be came into my mind. I know it was Jerry telling me to look for the good in my life now.Really hard to do but I am trying.
The whole not having them to help us through the bad seems impossible but I am finding strength and I choice to believe he is sending it to me. I just have to look for it and accept it when it comes, whatever form it may be. The beauty of the clouds in the sky -a word of kindness from a not friend yet-the unexpected pleasure of a laugh over something silly.
I hope something I've shared gives you a nano-second of peace-take care,Brenda
- At 6:35pm on March 14, 2012, job4348 said…
Hi Toni you proably don't remember but I was one of the many that where concerned about you the other night. So glad that I have a chance to speak to you.
So understand your anger with the stupid things people say. The thing that really dovre me carzy was 'you need to talk" 'yea really tell me one damn word that will make this right and I will say it a million million times.
I am almost to two yrs(on 20th) and am amazed that I have made it to this point.
Please know that I care as do many others that you are feeling such pain. Would love to help--sorry don't have a magic wand but have pretty good ears to listen.
Take care Brenda
- At 6:47pm on March 11, 2012,
Renee said… Hi Toni, just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you, are you
feeling any better, I hope so. It's seven months for me today, I'm trying to
come up with positive ways to honor Robert, I'm planning a trip for our
family to be in Alaska on the one year mark. Try to do something nice
for yourself today. hugs
- At 3:06pm on March 9, 2012, Renee said…
Hi Toni,
I wanted you to know I was thinking of you and hoping
that things are going a little better, it's hard to live
hour to hour, not knowing how you will get by. Do you
work? I find myself some days still in my robe @ 2:00.
It's been almost 7 months for me, my kids help, but
they have their own life's, do you have children?
hugs to you,
Renee
- At 10:20am on January 22, 2012,
Dianne in Nevada said… 
Thinking of you today, Toni.
Dianne
- At 4:18pm on October 21, 2011, Dianne in Nevada said…
- I'm wondering how your trip to Italy was, Toni. That's on my 'bucket list'.
- At 11:13am on July 29, 2011, Dianne in Nevada said…
My thoughts are with you today, Toni, on this difficult day of remembrance of your Mom and brother.
Dianne
- At 6:39pm on May 19, 2011, Dianne in Nevada said…
- Welcome to Widowed Village, Toni. Join the groups that fit you, jump into the forum discussions, try out the chat room, add some friends. I hope you're able to make some wonderful connections here in this very special place.
- At 12:36pm on May 17, 2011,
VOLUNTEERSupa Dupa Fresh said… 
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Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
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