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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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  • Duvall, WA
  • United States
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barbee's Discussions

Anyone from the Pacific Northwest?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Soaring Spirits Feb 14, 2014. 2 Replies

I'm hoping we can get a regional event going. Anyone interested in meeting at an Applebees or Starbucks or some place to get acquainted? I live in Everett. Has to be a daytime event because I cannot…Continue


barbee's Page

Latest Activity

barbee replied to Rich's discussion How are you handling the Coronavirus outbreak?
"Callie, it's been longer than three months. I live in western WA where the first case in the United States was reported. That was January 21, 2020. Living only a few miles from Life Care, where so many died, we have been self-isolating since…"
Jun 21
barbee replied to MLSV4's discussion I Understand in the group Widowed in 2020
"Gigi, a suggestion for you to think about. You mention you aren't sure what to do with your husband's ashes. Waiting is not a bad thing. Take your time. I kept my first husband's ashes and when I met the man who would become husband…"
Jun 21
barbee replied to Tess's discussion Delaware has no widows or widowers in the group Born in the 50s
"Delaware has no widowed??? Well, I think Washington state has only a couple! LOL I, too, tried to get a group together without much success. My senior center has active groups -- walking/hiking, several kinds of exercise, a dance once a month…"
Jun 17
barbee replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Dee, I can feel your pain. Saturday, May 23 would have been my 56th wedding anniversary had he lived. He died seven years ago. No one besides me remembered. It also was the one-month anniversary of my brother-in-law's death from COVID19.…"
May 26
barbee replied to Rich's discussion How are you handling the Coronavirus outbreak?
"For us in the NW (where the first COVID patient showed up) this is our EIGHTH week of shelter-in-place. I live about 15 miles from Life Care, the nursing home that made the news early on. No signs of restrictions letting up any time soon. In all…"
Apr 15
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"1. If I had a million dollars, I would ___Share it with my family, then give to food banks2. If I had to play a musical instrument, I would play the ___Piano; wish I hadn't stopped playing3. Besides English, I'd love to learn ___Sign…"
Apr 15
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"The Born in the 1950's group has started a fun quiz. Hop over there and participate or just read the questions and answers for a little bit of an uplift."
Mar 22
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"My group, Born in the 1940's and before is dwindling, as you might imagine. Thank you for letting me join your group. This is the start of Week 3 Isolation for our area and I am getting really bored. I want to bake and cook, but if I could get…"
Mar 22
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"It is ugly and awful times like these that brings out the worst in people and the best in people. We all have different coping abilities. Like grief, each situation is different. What our world needs now is an epidemic of kindness -- and patience --…"
Mar 21
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"As many of you know, I found a wonderful guy a couple years after my husband of almost 50 years died. We are still together. He just turned 85 and I soon will be 80. Both of us struggle with body parts that no longer work well and brains that work…"
Mar 20
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"It is less than an hour since I posted and the statistics have changed: in the greater Seattle area, there are now over 900 diagnosed with coronavirus and 46 deaths. The increased numbers are coming faster. This post is not to alarm anyone; it is to…"
Mar 16
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"I want to join in on the caronavirus discussion. I normally do not post with this group, since I am older (almost 80 yrs old). I live in western Washington, just a few miles from Life Care, where this pandemic began. The health dept and federal…"
Mar 16
barbee replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Need help using the site? Ask here!
"Yah, what Janet said. No chat room is a real loss."
Mar 8
barbee replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"I agree with the ladies here. Not your spouse and you may not know the extent of their relationship or how long the grieving has gone on. In my husband's case, he was ill for 16 years and anticipatory grief is REAL. By the time he died, I was…"
Mar 8
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Hey, laurajay! I've been trying to PM you and for some reason it doesn't go through. I miss the chat room so much! Does anyone have any idea if it will return? I'm not willing to go to Facebook. The reason I want to contact you is to…"
Feb 14
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"Feb 2 was my 7 year anniversary. We had been married just shy of 50 years when he passed. Someone here on WV had suggested on your anniversary that you do random acts of kindness. I couldn't imagine doing 50 different things! While I was trying…"
Feb 8

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Comment Wall (16 comments)

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At 4:12pm on August 12, 2017, Don said…

I am happy that you have found your new parter .  May God Bless you  both.   Don

At 11:31am on July 22, 2016, Skeezix said…


I'm so sorry that I haven't responded to your messages. I just signed on a couple days ago for the first time in almost a year and discovered I actually had messages in my inbox!  I sent you a friend invitation but haven't heard anything back yet.  Don't give up on me yet.  I'm still working on navigating this site.  Skeezix

At 1:17pm on April 19, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barb, Where did you go?

I went to the chat room and I did not see you in chat nor the list of active members so I guess you logged off.

How's things going?  We are having high winds and snow squalls today, but there are periods of sunshine as well.  The front should have moved further east  in the next couple of days to give us a break in the winter weather.  When that occurs, I'll drive into Denver to get some groceries  and run errands.  

We had 5 inches one day and two days later 7 inches, the next night 2 inches, and last night one inch.  Meanwhile its snug as a bug in the home.  

Hope all is well, and I look forward to your notes and our exchanges.



At 7:36am on March 30, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barbee,

I'm in the Mountain Time Zone.  Generally speaking, I watch the news/weather till about 2230 and then I get on the radio (I'm a ham radio operator) for another hour or so.  Then I do a final check on my email, and log into WV.  If someone is there, and they want to chat, I'll stick around for another hour or two. 

I look forward to chatting with you and Thank You for your invite.



At 5:50pm on March 21, 2015, thelmaz said…

I'm glad you enjoy the blog.  I've had computer problems lately plus I'm so overwhelmed with downsizing, I can hardly think.  Thelma

At 2:09pm on February 6, 2015, Christopher said…

Thanks, barbee. I only just saw your comment left more than a week ago. I‘ll have to remember to look into my page. I had left tabs open for the groups I’ve joined, but not my own page. Oops!

At 2:25pm on January 27, 2015, flyingsummers said…

I do need a buddy to get around and to helpgetting through the grief.

At 5:38pm on December 17, 2014, JC&DK said…
Would like to try a new group in everett,
Thank you
At 5:29pm on October 8, 2014, david1980 said…
Thank you for responding on the Ebola post. More than that... thank you for being a friend. This past couple weeks I have had more time to read the posts and respond.
At 4:14pm on April 20, 2014, WebLady said…

Hi barbee,

Thank you for your note. Sorry for your loss as well.

Nice to hear you are in the "neighborhood".

I think I am still in shell shock here. My hubby was perfectly healthy one minute and dead the next. I am mostly out of the denial phase but, just so damned sad that at times it is unbearable.

I have not yet come to anything resembling normal and feel most comfortable in isolation.  I have friends and family willing to help but, I find when I am near them I am more distressed.  So meanwhile, I am lurking here on this site and a couple of others. I do find some comfort in reading the posts.  I guess because unless you've been there you can't possibly imagine the likes of this!

Barbee's Blog

Moving on...

Posted on May 3, 2018 at 2:05pm 6 Comments

It has been over five years since you left. In that time, I bought a house and sold it and moved again. I found a man who cares about me, and after we spent many months traveling across this nation, we decided to commit to a relationship. Most days life is wonderful and safe and comfortable again. There are some days -- and sleepless nights -- that still feel lonely and confusing. Today in my reading I found a sentence that helps me understand  this mish-mash of emotions: "…


Got rid of your bed

Posted on March 21, 2015 at 8:53am 3 Comments

It has been just over two years since you left. When I moved I brought your hospital bed with me. It was to be temporary. I knew I would donate it. It gave me something to sleep in temporarily. But other things needed replacing or fixing and they were more important because, after all, I had a bed to sleep in.

Well...the day arrived and I bought a complete bedroom set and new mattress last week. It is a queen-size. It is like sleeping on a cloud. It is so big I get lost in it. It is…


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