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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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  • Duvall, WA
  • United States
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barbee's Discussions

Anyone from the Pacific Northwest?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Soaring Spirits Feb 14, 2014. 2 Replies

I'm hoping we can get a regional event going. Anyone interested in meeting at an Applebees or Starbucks or some place to get acquainted? I live in Everett. Has to be a daytime event because I cannot…Continue


barbee's Page

Latest Activity

barbee replied to Dee1960's discussion Wedding Rings -- why wear them?
"Phyllis, you have a lot of company here and most of us relate to what you are feeling. We were married almost 50 years and had been good friends for ten years before that. So there wasn't much of my life that he wasn't there in some way.…"
barbee replied to LorraineS's discussion The Truth About My Late Husband (Caution Reading) in the group Widowed in 2020
"Devin, LJ gave you some good advice here. Do not trust too easily. Keep yourself safe at all costs."
Sep 24
barbee replied to LorraineS's discussion The Truth About My Late Husband (Caution Reading) in the group Widowed in 2020
"After reading your response, I wanted to give you a big, wrap-around hug. But I don't know you. So I checked your picture and discovered where you live. We are almost neighbors! I've been to Oak Harbor dozens of times! I'm about two…"
Sep 24
barbee replied to LorraineS's discussion The Truth About My Late Husband (Caution Reading) in the group Widowed in 2020
"Hang in there, Lorraine. There are others on this site who can really relate to your story. When I first came here almost seven years ago it felt as if I was the only one who had not been married to a wonderful saint. It made me sick to read their…"
Sep 24
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Faolan, It was wonderful to read about your progress!  Sometimes recovery seems so very slow, but remember that every step forward is one step closer to your goal. Personally I've come to believe that "getting back to normal" is…"
Sep 19
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Sue, it is never too late! After being widowed for many years, Chapter Two showed up. I was 74 and he was 80. We are still together six years later. Life is slower and there are more aches and pains and several surgeries along the way and we've…"
Sep 18
barbee replied to gigi's discussion Six years.
"Celebrating 50 years when you are only half there is very difficult. My husband died just a few months short of our 50th anniversary. Someone suggested I do 50 random acts of kindness to help remember him, but that idea overwhelmed me. As it turned…"
Sep 15
barbee replied to Rich's discussion The obsession of starting a new relationship
"Soulmate, I agree with you -- widows and widowers are NOT damaged goods. I've written about this before on WV, but I cared for my husband for sixteen years. During the last four years I sold our business and house and moved us into a retirement…"
Sep 1
barbee commented on only1sue's blog post Bad nights, dreary days.
"Sue, I'd just like to add that you are not alone. There are many of us around the world who no longer can do things that are fun, like concerts and luncheons, and going to the movies or the senior center or library. I've been…"
Aug 19
barbee replied to Carousel's discussion Being Alone If Something Happens in the group Widowed in 2020
"After my husband died, I moved to another city and bought a house. My children were worried about my living alone. So I bought a nice (and rather expensive!) heart with the medical alert symbol on the front. On the back I had engraved ICE: and my…"
Aug 19
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"* Rather cook or wash dishes: bake is better than cook * Favorite Pie: marionberry * Steak or Seafood: seafood, specifically salmon * Italian or Chinese: Chinese * Pepsi or coke: Pepsi * Favorite ice cream: Jamoca Almond Fudge (me too!) * How many…"
Aug 2
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Faolan, what you are going through is horrendous. I know two people who have died from COVID, both after several months in the hospital. It is an ugly virus. You are being brave every day and such a hard worker at getting well. I wish you the best…"
Aug 2
barbee replied to Rich's discussion The obsession of starting a new relationship
"In regard to grieving, time can be your friend. Your broken heart needs to heal first. You will find the right person to enhance your life when the time its right. Be patient and love yourself for now."
Jul 24
barbee replied to Rich's discussion How are you handling the Coronavirus outbreak?
"Callie, it's been longer than three months. I live in western WA where the first case in the United States was reported. That was January 21, 2020. Living only a few miles from Life Care, where so many died, we have been self-isolating since…"
Jun 21
barbee replied to MLSV4's discussion I Understand in the group Widowed in 2020
"Gigi, a suggestion for you to think about. You mention you aren't sure what to do with your husband's ashes. Waiting is not a bad thing. Take your time. I kept my first husband's ashes and when I met the man who would become husband…"
Jun 21
barbee replied to Tess's discussion Delaware has no widows or widowers in the group Born in the 50s
"Delaware has no widowed??? Well, I think Washington state has only a couple! LOL I, too, tried to get a group together without much success. My senior center has active groups -- walking/hiking, several kinds of exercise, a dance once a month…"
Jun 17

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Comment Wall (16 comments)

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At 4:12pm on August 12, 2017, Don said…

I am happy that you have found your new parter .  May God Bless you  both.   Don

At 11:31am on July 22, 2016, Skeezix said…


I'm so sorry that I haven't responded to your messages. I just signed on a couple days ago for the first time in almost a year and discovered I actually had messages in my inbox!  I sent you a friend invitation but haven't heard anything back yet.  Don't give up on me yet.  I'm still working on navigating this site.  Skeezix

At 1:17pm on April 19, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barb, Where did you go?

I went to the chat room and I did not see you in chat nor the list of active members so I guess you logged off.

How's things going?  We are having high winds and snow squalls today, but there are periods of sunshine as well.  The front should have moved further east  in the next couple of days to give us a break in the winter weather.  When that occurs, I'll drive into Denver to get some groceries  and run errands.  

We had 5 inches one day and two days later 7 inches, the next night 2 inches, and last night one inch.  Meanwhile its snug as a bug in the home.  

Hope all is well, and I look forward to your notes and our exchanges.



At 7:36am on March 30, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barbee,

I'm in the Mountain Time Zone.  Generally speaking, I watch the news/weather till about 2230 and then I get on the radio (I'm a ham radio operator) for another hour or so.  Then I do a final check on my email, and log into WV.  If someone is there, and they want to chat, I'll stick around for another hour or two. 

I look forward to chatting with you and Thank You for your invite.



At 5:50pm on March 21, 2015, thelmaz said…

I'm glad you enjoy the blog.  I've had computer problems lately plus I'm so overwhelmed with downsizing, I can hardly think.  Thelma

At 2:09pm on February 6, 2015, Christopher said…

Thanks, barbee. I only just saw your comment left more than a week ago. I‘ll have to remember to look into my page. I had left tabs open for the groups I’ve joined, but not my own page. Oops!

At 2:25pm on January 27, 2015, flyingsummers said…

I do need a buddy to get around and to helpgetting through the grief.

At 5:38pm on December 17, 2014, JC&DK said…
Would like to try a new group in everett,
Thank you
At 5:29pm on October 8, 2014, david1980 said…
Thank you for responding on the Ebola post. More than that... thank you for being a friend. This past couple weeks I have had more time to read the posts and respond.
At 4:14pm on April 20, 2014, WebLady said…

Hi barbee,

Thank you for your note. Sorry for your loss as well.

Nice to hear you are in the "neighborhood".

I think I am still in shell shock here. My hubby was perfectly healthy one minute and dead the next. I am mostly out of the denial phase but, just so damned sad that at times it is unbearable.

I have not yet come to anything resembling normal and feel most comfortable in isolation.  I have friends and family willing to help but, I find when I am near them I am more distressed.  So meanwhile, I am lurking here on this site and a couple of others. I do find some comfort in reading the posts.  I guess because unless you've been there you can't possibly imagine the likes of this!

Barbee's Blog

Moving on...

Posted on May 3, 2018 at 2:05pm 6 Comments

It has been over five years since you left. In that time, I bought a house and sold it and moved again. I found a man who cares about me, and after we spent many months traveling across this nation, we decided to commit to a relationship. Most days life is wonderful and safe and comfortable again. There are some days -- and sleepless nights -- that still feel lonely and confusing. Today in my reading I found a sentence that helps me understand  this mish-mash of emotions: "…


Got rid of your bed

Posted on March 21, 2015 at 8:53am 3 Comments

It has been just over two years since you left. When I moved I brought your hospital bed with me. It was to be temporary. I knew I would donate it. It gave me something to sleep in temporarily. But other things needed replacing or fixing and they were more important because, after all, I had a bed to sleep in.

Well...the day arrived and I bought a complete bedroom set and new mattress last week. It is a queen-size. It is like sleeping on a cloud. It is so big I get lost in it. It is…


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