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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  • Female
  • Duvall, WA
  • United States
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Barbee's Friends

  • IHaftaBeStrong
  • Rainy (Misty)
  • InsideLove
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  • elaine
  • Ellie
  • sugr-plum (shelly)
  • Doug02122014
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barbee's Discussions

Anyone from the Pacific Northwest?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Soaring Spirits Feb 14, 2014. 2 Replies

I'm hoping we can get a regional event going. Anyone interested in meeting at an Applebees or Starbucks or some place to get acquainted? I live in Everett. Has to be a daytime event because I cannot…Continue


barbee's Page

Latest Activity

barbee replied to Melissa's discussion Loneliness
"A time I hated was coming home to a silent house after being gone all day.  I started leaving a radio on so there was a bit of noise. Then I rescued a cat from the shelter. She'd run to the door and meow and wow! What a difference that…"
Aug 13
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Cee, so very sorry you got an owie. Hopefully it is not your dominent shoulder. Even so, our arms are made to work together and it is very inconvenient when they don't. Rest and read and recover. Sue, it is nice to read uplifting words and your…"
Aug 5
barbee commented on only1sue's blog post I have a future again
"Such good news! Hip, hip hurrah for you!!! Take good care, Sue."
Jul 27
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Frank, on the news they were talking about a massive mudslide on a major highway west of Denver. I know you are rather isolated on a good day. Did this impact you and isolate you more? Hoping not so. "
Jul 27
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Sue, WHAT GOOD NEWS! Hopefully you'll have time in these six weeks of recovery to do some good, enjoyable, relaxing things just for you. Be your own best friend right now to get well again. "
Jul 23
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"LJ--thanks for caring. Yes, after over a year of struggling and getting worse we finally decided it was medication interactions. My new primary doctor discontinued one med immediately and then weaned me off the three others gradually. None were…"
Jul 13
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Sue -- your positive attitude will go a lo-o-o-ng way to a successful surgery and good recovery. There might be some blessings to be found in not being able to plan the future. Relax and see what happens. Sending prayers, positive thoughts, and…"
Jul 13
barbee commented on only1sue's blog post In a holding pattern
"Brain surgery has got to be scary. The anticipation even worse. Please keep us informed of the date and the expected recovery time so we can keep you in our thoughts and hearts and prayers until we see you back here again. HUGS."
Jun 25
barbee replied to SFbay's discussion How do we know when we need to see a doctor (psychiatrist)?
"Maybe you do not need to see a psychiatrist, but a different kind of counselor. Maybe a pastor or someone who is experienced in grief work. If there is a hospice at a local hospital, you might be able to hook up with a group there. Some churches…"
May 23
barbee replied to Dee1960's discussion Death Anniversary
"Maybe what you need to do is something for you. It doesn't need to be celebratory. It could be as simple as sitting under a tree or at a picnic table and reading or thinking about him and remembering. I'm a big believer in the Keep It…"
May 9
barbee replied to Dee1960's discussion Death Anniversary
"It has been six years for me. The first year was predictably the very hardest. He died just a few weeks short of our 50th anniversary. At that time, there was a posting here in WV that suggested we do a random act of kindness for each year. FIFTY?…"
May 8
barbee replied to Jill's discussion How old were you when your spouse died? How does your age affect your self-concept now that you're on your own?
"I tip my hat to you for all the many years of caregiving you did for your wife. I did it for my husband for sixteen years and understand the bittersweetness of it. We were just a couple months short of 50 years when he died. When I mentioned that to…"
Apr 16
barbee replied to Timbers's discussion Is it really possible to make room in your heart for a new love?
"It is possible. Go slowly; time is on your side.  I'd been widowed for over two years when I met a widower who had been alone 12 years. Neither of us was looking for a relationship. We have been together three years now. We honor each…"
Apr 11
barbee replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion What is going on with the shifting of emotions?
"Since posting this a few hours ago, I happened upon an interesting thought in an article about self-reliance. It did not say who wrote it, so I can't give the person credit. Hopefully, it will help in your thinking. Sometimes, you find yourself…"
Apr 6
barbee replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion What is going on with the shifting of emotions?
"Misty, all of life is a risk. Sometimes I think our bodies tell us things our brain just doesn't want to grasp. Maybe it is time for you to create a new life in a new place. I dunno -- can't answer that for you. As was stated here by…"
Apr 6
barbee commented on em.pio's blog post No Title
"You say your FIL is looking for widowers to meet. Sometimes language can be a problem. Does he want to meet men or women? I think of widows as women and widowers as men. If you mean meeting other men for friendship, I suggest he check out any…"
Mar 23

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Comment Wall (16 comments)

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At 4:12pm on August 12, 2017, Don said…

I am happy that you have found your new parter .  May God Bless you  both.   Don

At 11:31am on July 22, 2016, Skeezix said…


I'm so sorry that I haven't responded to your messages. I just signed on a couple days ago for the first time in almost a year and discovered I actually had messages in my inbox!  I sent you a friend invitation but haven't heard anything back yet.  Don't give up on me yet.  I'm still working on navigating this site.  Skeezix

At 1:17pm on April 19, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barb, Where did you go?

I went to the chat room and I did not see you in chat nor the list of active members so I guess you logged off.

How's things going?  We are having high winds and snow squalls today, but there are periods of sunshine as well.  The front should have moved further east  in the next couple of days to give us a break in the winter weather.  When that occurs, I'll drive into Denver to get some groceries  and run errands.  

We had 5 inches one day and two days later 7 inches, the next night 2 inches, and last night one inch.  Meanwhile its snug as a bug in the home.  

Hope all is well, and I look forward to your notes and our exchanges.



At 7:36am on March 30, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barbee,

I'm in the Mountain Time Zone.  Generally speaking, I watch the news/weather till about 2230 and then I get on the radio (I'm a ham radio operator) for another hour or so.  Then I do a final check on my email, and log into WV.  If someone is there, and they want to chat, I'll stick around for another hour or two. 

I look forward to chatting with you and Thank You for your invite.



At 5:50pm on March 21, 2015, thelmaz said…

I'm glad you enjoy the blog.  I've had computer problems lately plus I'm so overwhelmed with downsizing, I can hardly think.  Thelma

At 2:09pm on February 6, 2015, Christopher said…

Thanks, barbee. I only just saw your comment left more than a week ago. I‘ll have to remember to look into my page. I had left tabs open for the groups I’ve joined, but not my own page. Oops!

At 2:25pm on January 27, 2015, flyingsummers said…

I do need a buddy to get around and to helpgetting through the grief.

At 5:38pm on December 17, 2014, JC&DK said…
Would like to try a new group in everett,
Thank you
At 5:29pm on October 8, 2014, david1980 said…
Thank you for responding on the Ebola post. More than that... thank you for being a friend. This past couple weeks I have had more time to read the posts and respond.
At 4:14pm on April 20, 2014, WebLady said…

Hi barbee,

Thank you for your note. Sorry for your loss as well.

Nice to hear you are in the "neighborhood".

I think I am still in shell shock here. My hubby was perfectly healthy one minute and dead the next. I am mostly out of the denial phase but, just so damned sad that at times it is unbearable.

I have not yet come to anything resembling normal and feel most comfortable in isolation.  I have friends and family willing to help but, I find when I am near them I am more distressed.  So meanwhile, I am lurking here on this site and a couple of others. I do find some comfort in reading the posts.  I guess because unless you've been there you can't possibly imagine the likes of this!

Barbee's Blog

Moving on...

Posted on May 3, 2018 at 2:05pm 6 Comments

It has been over five years since you left. In that time, I bought a house and sold it and moved again. I found a man who cares about me, and after we spent many months traveling across this nation, we decided to commit to a relationship. Most days life is wonderful and safe and comfortable again. There are some days -- and sleepless nights -- that still feel lonely and confusing. Today in my reading I found a sentence that helps me understand  this mish-mash of emotions: "…


Got rid of your bed

Posted on March 21, 2015 at 8:53am 3 Comments

It has been just over two years since you left. When I moved I brought your hospital bed with me. It was to be temporary. I knew I would donate it. It gave me something to sleep in temporarily. But other things needed replacing or fixing and they were more important because, after all, I had a bed to sleep in.

Well...the day arrived and I bought a complete bedroom set and new mattress last week. It is a queen-size. It is like sleeping on a cloud. It is so big I get lost in it. It is…


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