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Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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  • Duvall, WA
  • United States
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barbee's Discussions

Anyone from the Pacific Northwest?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Soaring Spirits Feb 14, 2014. 2 Replies

I'm hoping we can get a regional event going. Anyone interested in meeting at an Applebees or Starbucks or some place to get acquainted? I live in Everett. Has to be a daytime event because I cannot…Continue


barbee's Page

Latest Activity

barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"only1sue: I read in our news that New South Wales has numerous fires, not too unlike what is happening in California. Praying that you and your family are OK and safe."
Nov 10
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"A couple weeks after my husband passed, I went to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. My chest hurt so bad. After tests, the doctor said to me, "there is nothing wrong with your heart, but you do have a broken heart and the pain with…"
Nov 6
barbee replied to Rich's discussion The obsession of starting a new relationship
"RE: The obsession of starting a new relationship. Finding a new spouse has lots of factors. Your age, whether there are children in the home or not, financial considerations, how long you were married, what was the quality of your…"
Nov 5
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Mrs. L, yes it was a long day. Ten widowed ladies all together came by -- some for only a little while. I was the only one who was there the whole day! It was a delightful way to meet new people and change up what might have been a very lonely day."
Oct 28
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"The first Thanksgiving and Christmas after Gary died were holidays that I did not want to face. We'd always had a houseful of people and I didn't want to be alone. I decided to have Thanksgiving at my house and put up a flyer at church and…"
Oct 27
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2013
"Hey Susan, Feb 2020 will be the start of my seventh year. It seems so very long ago. I've bought and sold a new house; traveled across USA from coast to coast; made some new friends. Our family has added three great-granddaughters. Yes, many…"
Oct 25
barbee replied to Susan's discussion Afraid Of Older Son's Reaction To Mom
"Good for you, Laurie. Dating after the death of your spouse is tricky territory and many cannot step into it. Everyone needs to do what feels right to them. I waited two years before a date after we had been married for almost 50 years. Two of my…"
Oct 20
barbee commented on only1sue's blog post Why am I no longer confident life will go the way I plan?
"LJ, thanks  for the tip on a good book. Can't locate his book in our area. The library has one of his called SABBATH. My "problem" with reading now is that I must have large print and not very many books are in that format.…"
Oct 18
barbee commented on only1sue's blog post Why am I no longer confident life will go the way I plan?
"Hi, Sue. I too am a planner and like things to go my way. But, more often than not, my plans go awry. On days when I know I will be very busy with activities or appointments, I now plan for the next day to be a "soft day". I even put it on…"
Oct 17
barbee commented on Don's blog post I have been invited to a wedding`
"Well Don, you didn't say what the relationship is. You'd need to handle it differently if it was your daughter rather than a friend from work. I'm assuming somewhere in the middle. A wise someone (maybe Eleanore Roosvelt?) once said…"
Oct 17
barbee replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"After almost fifty years of being married to the same man I thought no one would be interested in dating me and dating was very, very scary. I decided I would only date widowers. A first meeting, in a public place, around noon, was always my rule.…"
Oct 12
barbee replied to Alma's discussion The supermarket
"My husband and I were married just shy of 50 years. Six years ago he passed. Even tho I am in another relationship since then, I still "talk" myself through some recipes that I've used for years. "Forget putting in the mushrooms…"
Oct 12
barbee commented on only1sue's blog post We no longer supply what you need
"Sue, you are a great example of someone who gets on with life, no matter what life throws at her. Your statement, "Every day I have to find a reason for the ways I spend my time." is a wonderful plan. Thank you for sharing your…"
Oct 6
barbee replied to Rich's discussion How long have you been on the Widowed Village forums?
"It has been about six years for me. I still consider WV an important part of my week, even if I do not post. Like others have said, it gets easier to live with the grief. We adapt and adjust and re-arrange. It does not go away or is something we…"
Oct 4
barbee replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion US: WEST - PACIFIC in the group Connect with others in your area
"Hi, all you Callie people. I'm in the woods in NW Washington. Little town called Duvall."
Sep 19
barbee replied to SweetMelissa2007's discussion Wal-mart delivers!
"SHIPT is a new one for me and thanks for bringing it to our attention, LJ. It was easy to Google it, click on the "Contact Us" button and put in my zip code. Unfortunately, they are not in my area. But, Target and Walmart ship to me…"
Sep 13

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Comment Wall (16 comments)

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At 4:12pm on August 12, 2017, Don said…

I am happy that you have found your new parter .  May God Bless you  both.   Don

At 11:31am on July 22, 2016, Skeezix said…


I'm so sorry that I haven't responded to your messages. I just signed on a couple days ago for the first time in almost a year and discovered I actually had messages in my inbox!  I sent you a friend invitation but haven't heard anything back yet.  Don't give up on me yet.  I'm still working on navigating this site.  Skeezix

At 1:17pm on April 19, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barb, Where did you go?

I went to the chat room and I did not see you in chat nor the list of active members so I guess you logged off.

How's things going?  We are having high winds and snow squalls today, but there are periods of sunshine as well.  The front should have moved further east  in the next couple of days to give us a break in the winter weather.  When that occurs, I'll drive into Denver to get some groceries  and run errands.  

We had 5 inches one day and two days later 7 inches, the next night 2 inches, and last night one inch.  Meanwhile its snug as a bug in the home.  

Hope all is well, and I look forward to your notes and our exchanges.



At 7:36am on March 30, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barbee,

I'm in the Mountain Time Zone.  Generally speaking, I watch the news/weather till about 2230 and then I get on the radio (I'm a ham radio operator) for another hour or so.  Then I do a final check on my email, and log into WV.  If someone is there, and they want to chat, I'll stick around for another hour or two. 

I look forward to chatting with you and Thank You for your invite.



At 5:50pm on March 21, 2015, thelmaz said…

I'm glad you enjoy the blog.  I've had computer problems lately plus I'm so overwhelmed with downsizing, I can hardly think.  Thelma

At 2:09pm on February 6, 2015, Christopher said…

Thanks, barbee. I only just saw your comment left more than a week ago. I‘ll have to remember to look into my page. I had left tabs open for the groups I’ve joined, but not my own page. Oops!

At 2:25pm on January 27, 2015, flyingsummers said…

I do need a buddy to get around and to helpgetting through the grief.

At 5:38pm on December 17, 2014, JC&DK said…
Would like to try a new group in everett,
Thank you
At 5:29pm on October 8, 2014, david1980 said…
Thank you for responding on the Ebola post. More than that... thank you for being a friend. This past couple weeks I have had more time to read the posts and respond.
At 4:14pm on April 20, 2014, WebLady said…

Hi barbee,

Thank you for your note. Sorry for your loss as well.

Nice to hear you are in the "neighborhood".

I think I am still in shell shock here. My hubby was perfectly healthy one minute and dead the next. I am mostly out of the denial phase but, just so damned sad that at times it is unbearable.

I have not yet come to anything resembling normal and feel most comfortable in isolation.  I have friends and family willing to help but, I find when I am near them I am more distressed.  So meanwhile, I am lurking here on this site and a couple of others. I do find some comfort in reading the posts.  I guess because unless you've been there you can't possibly imagine the likes of this!

Barbee's Blog

Moving on...

Posted on May 3, 2018 at 2:05pm 6 Comments

It has been over five years since you left. In that time, I bought a house and sold it and moved again. I found a man who cares about me, and after we spent many months traveling across this nation, we decided to commit to a relationship. Most days life is wonderful and safe and comfortable again. There are some days -- and sleepless nights -- that still feel lonely and confusing. Today in my reading I found a sentence that helps me understand  this mish-mash of emotions: "…


Got rid of your bed

Posted on March 21, 2015 at 8:53am 3 Comments

It has been just over two years since you left. When I moved I brought your hospital bed with me. It was to be temporary. I knew I would donate it. It gave me something to sleep in temporarily. But other things needed replacing or fixing and they were more important because, after all, I had a bed to sleep in.

Well...the day arrived and I bought a complete bedroom set and new mattress last week. It is a queen-size. It is like sleeping on a cloud. It is so big I get lost in it. It is…


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