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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  • Female
  • Everett, WA
  • United States
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Barbee's Friends

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  • Rainy (Misty)
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barbee's Discussions

Anyone from the Pacific Northwest?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Soaring Spirits Feb 14, 2014. 2 Replies

I'm hoping we can get a regional event going. Anyone interested in meeting at an Applebees or Starbucks or some place to get acquainted? I live in Everett. Has to be a daytime event because I cannot…Continue


barbee's Page

Latest Activity

barbee replied to Hopesmom's discussion relationships after
"Sometimes we cannot be too careful, especially when we are stressed with grief. Many years ago my grandfather died. A week or so after the funeral Grandma answered her door. It was a man who said he had been a friend back in Michigan (the obit said…"
Feb 10
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
Feb 4
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"About crying: it is NOT weakness. It is, in fact, necessary for emotional healing. Some research has shown that there are stresses within our body that can only be released through tears. The all-day, all-night going-on-for months kind of sobbing is…"
Jan 29
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Tapevad, you'll have a lot of company here. Many of us were in long term marriages and can share stories of meltdowns, loneliness, aging/medical difficulties, and the confusion of learning new things. It has been six years for me and is mostly…"
Jan 28
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in Assisted Living Facilities
"jesigirl87, most of us in this group remember how very hard the whole first year is with all the firsts involved. My heart breaks for those starting on this journey. When you lose someone as significant as a spouse, you never get over it but you do…"
Dec 15, 2018
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in Assisted Living Facilities
"How does one deal with guilt? I dunno. It's the age-old woulda-coulda-shoulda game we all seem to play. Just know that you did all you could and should at the time with the information and resources you had. Would you have been able to provide…"
Dec 7, 2018
barbee replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Losing my home.
"Seattle and Bellevue are very expensive places to live and traffic congestion is some of the worst in the world. I don't know about Portland. What is it about these cities that appeals to you? Will you need to work? There are almost no WV…"
Nov 3, 2018
barbee replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion I had an interesting conversation with my doctor today so I thought I'd share it with you all.
"Yes, grief can be painful. A couple weeks after my husband's death, I was at my doctor's office, thinking I was having a heart attack. She ran some tests then told me,  your heart is not broken, but you have a broken heart and your…"
Oct 23, 2018
barbee replied to only1sue's discussion What are the fundamentals of dating in your 60s and 70s?
"Sue, what a blessing it is to hear you have come to a level of acceptance. A simply life can still be a wonderful life! Most of us struggle for years and years to accept widowhood. It has been almost six years for me and I do have a loving…"
Oct 14, 2018
barbee replied to Lost's discussion Lost
"When your mate leaves this earth, whether it was sudden or after a lingering illness, you are deeply wounded. As in, DEEPLY. If it had been a surgery or a broken bone, no one would expect you to be totally over it in seven weeks. Those of us…"
Oct 10, 2018
barbee replied to Shoosie2's discussion Keeping your Loved One's Ashes
"One of the beautiful things about this site is the realization there is no right or wrong way to grieve or to disperse ashes. So many individual ways that are simply "perfect"! And we get it and understand. It's been over six years…"
Oct 4, 2018
barbee replied to Luv4Z's discussion Now I box?
"Another idea is to grab several trays of ice cubes and find a brick wall or a wall without windows. Throw, smash, pick up, and repeat. There  is something theraputic about hearing the ice smash and break.  Keeps the good dishes safe while…"
Sep 22, 2018
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"Frank and Mrs. L, your comments about growing up sure did bring back memories! When I look at kids today, I wonder how they will survive. Their lives are so instantaneous -- they'll never smell a pot roast cooking. They get photos on their…"
Sep 10, 2018
barbee commented on Dianne in Nevada's blog post I fell for a scammer ....
"Dianne, don't beat yourself up too much. There are always lessons to be learned in situations like this. Many of us in WV have similar stories to tell, so you do have company. That doesn't make your heartache and disappointment go away…"
Sep 5, 2018
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"LJ-- thanks for caring and for suggesting, but my condition is complicated. I intend to let the neurologists (several) figure it out without my mucking things up. Not a good idea to mix medications. Again, I appreciate your trying to help."
Aug 21, 2018
barbee commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 40s or Earlier
"My husband and I square danced for many years. It was good exercise (keeping my weight down) and fun (lots of laughter with many delightful people). Now I have no husband and can't dance. In fact, walking is getting more difficult. There have…"
Aug 17, 2018

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Comment Wall (16 comments)

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At 4:12pm on August 12, 2017, Don said…

I am happy that you have found your new parter .  May God Bless you  both.   Don

At 11:31am on July 22, 2016, Skeezix said…


I'm so sorry that I haven't responded to your messages. I just signed on a couple days ago for the first time in almost a year and discovered I actually had messages in my inbox!  I sent you a friend invitation but haven't heard anything back yet.  Don't give up on me yet.  I'm still working on navigating this site.  Skeezix

At 1:17pm on April 19, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barb, Where did you go?

I went to the chat room and I did not see you in chat nor the list of active members so I guess you logged off.

How's things going?  We are having high winds and snow squalls today, but there are periods of sunshine as well.  The front should have moved further east  in the next couple of days to give us a break in the winter weather.  When that occurs, I'll drive into Denver to get some groceries  and run errands.  

We had 5 inches one day and two days later 7 inches, the next night 2 inches, and last night one inch.  Meanwhile its snug as a bug in the home.  

Hope all is well, and I look forward to your notes and our exchanges.



At 7:36am on March 30, 2015, Frank said…

Hi Barbee,

I'm in the Mountain Time Zone.  Generally speaking, I watch the news/weather till about 2230 and then I get on the radio (I'm a ham radio operator) for another hour or so.  Then I do a final check on my email, and log into WV.  If someone is there, and they want to chat, I'll stick around for another hour or two. 

I look forward to chatting with you and Thank You for your invite.



At 5:50pm on March 21, 2015, thelmaz said…

I'm glad you enjoy the blog.  I've had computer problems lately plus I'm so overwhelmed with downsizing, I can hardly think.  Thelma

At 2:09pm on February 6, 2015, Christopher said…

Thanks, barbee. I only just saw your comment left more than a week ago. I‘ll have to remember to look into my page. I had left tabs open for the groups I’ve joined, but not my own page. Oops!

At 2:25pm on January 27, 2015, flyingsummers said…

I do need a buddy to get around and to helpgetting through the grief.

At 5:38pm on December 17, 2014, JC&DK said…
Would like to try a new group in everett,
Thank you
At 5:29pm on October 8, 2014, david1980 said…
Thank you for responding on the Ebola post. More than that... thank you for being a friend. This past couple weeks I have had more time to read the posts and respond.
At 4:14pm on April 20, 2014, WebLady said…

Hi barbee,

Thank you for your note. Sorry for your loss as well.

Nice to hear you are in the "neighborhood".

I think I am still in shell shock here. My hubby was perfectly healthy one minute and dead the next. I am mostly out of the denial phase but, just so damned sad that at times it is unbearable.

I have not yet come to anything resembling normal and feel most comfortable in isolation.  I have friends and family willing to help but, I find when I am near them I am more distressed.  So meanwhile, I am lurking here on this site and a couple of others. I do find some comfort in reading the posts.  I guess because unless you've been there you can't possibly imagine the likes of this!

Barbee's Blog

Moving on...

Posted on May 3, 2018 at 2:05pm 6 Comments

It has been over five years since you left. In that time, I bought a house and sold it and moved again. I found a man who cares about me, and after we spent many months traveling across this nation, we decided to commit to a relationship. Most days life is wonderful and safe and comfortable again. There are some days -- and sleepless nights -- that still feel lonely and confusing. Today in my reading I found a sentence that helps me understand  this mish-mash of emotions: "…


Got rid of your bed

Posted on March 21, 2015 at 8:53am 3 Comments

It has been just over two years since you left. When I moved I brought your hospital bed with me. It was to be temporary. I knew I would donate it. It gave me something to sleep in temporarily. But other things needed replacing or fixing and they were more important because, after all, I had a bed to sleep in.

Well...the day arrived and I bought a complete bedroom set and new mattress last week. It is a queen-size. It is like sleeping on a cloud. It is so big I get lost in it. It is…


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