Hi betweenwaves,

I am very sorry for your loss.  I come and go on this website and occasionally comment.

The pain and grief that we feel can just be overwhelming.  I lost my high school sweetheart 5 years ago after 34 years of marriage.  All of a sudden, the future seems inconsequential and unimportant.  I try to live each moment and just do the next thing...whatever it might be.  Maybe just doing the laundry or making the bed.  I had a very hard time with the deafening quiet in my house so I spent many evenings just driving around for an hour or so sipping on a Starbucks.  Seems pitiful sometimes but it helped some.  

Here I am 5 years later, somehow getting through life.  I have no plan other than to visit my daughter's family and 3 grandkids every month (they are in Ohio, I'm in Albuquerque).  Work keeps me busy but is unfulfilling.  It is hard to imagine ever having the love I once had.  

I hope your day to day becomes easier for you as time goes on and you have people around you who understand that they are best for you when they do a lot more listening than talking.

I really wish you all my best, Bruce