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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

bis4betsy
  • Female
  • San Diego, CA
  • United States
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Bis4betsy's Friends

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  • Grenville25
  • cosmicinnj
  • momz
  • heart1980
  • Lupe's husband
  • laurajay
  • Kevin
  • Patience (Diane)
  • Morgana (Janet)
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  • Dianne in Nevada
 

bis4betsy's Page

Latest Activity

Gaining Strength commented on bis4betsy's photo
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fatherdaughterlove

"Beautiful picture. Wonderful Dad. Lucky daughter. May he rest in piece."
Apr 14, 2016
NoMoreComplete commented on bis4betsy's photo
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fatherdaughterlove

"I know this is old but my husband also did this with his kids. He was older than me so I didn't get to witness it but there are all kinds of pictures of them like this. He had such a gentle, deep love for his children. I miss him so much. Thank…"
Apr 6, 2016
lizbeth4 commented on bis4betsy's blog post It's not the same
"It's been 2 1/2 years ago that my Husband of 31years died.  I still have times of overwhelming lonelines. I have 2 wonderful Daughters that would be there with me if I was sick or had to have surgery.  Although I am grateful for this,…"
Oct 4, 2015
Bonnie commented on bis4betsy's blog post a description of grief
"This is wonderful. I wish I could find such perfect words. "The black tide of grief"--perfect. I am waiting to experience the last phase. I haven't got there yet."
Sep 27, 2015
Bonnie commented on bis4betsy's blog post It's not the same
"I don't often feel bad and besides having little energy I have felt all right in the 15 months now since my husband died. But this week I have not felt well at all. My stomach has been upset, I have had a hard time eating which almost never…"
Sep 27, 2015
only1sue commented on bis4betsy's blog post It's not the same
" I feel that way when I am sick.  I lay around thinking there ought to be "someone" who looked after me the way I looked after Ray.  My kids are scattered the nearest one three and a half hours drive from here and so that…"
Sep 23, 2015
barbee commented on bis4betsy's blog post It's not the same
"And it will be OK. You'll gain strength of kinds you never suspected and prevail. Life does get better if you open your heart and be willing to accept the risks as well as the rewards. I didn't think  so three years ago; now I know…"
Sep 22, 2015
vintage56(barb) commented on bis4betsy's blog post books
"right now I am reading "Emily, Alone" by Stewart O'Nan. Very well written and I can empathise with the main character who is a widow."
Aug 4, 2015
Kevin left a comment for bis4betsy
"The Dodger game was good.  It's tough going by yourself though.  I got a bit tired because of that and headed out before the end, plus I wanted to beat the traffic to get back to SD. "
Jul 30, 2015
Melissa liked bis4betsy's photo
Jul 27, 2015
bis4betsy posted a photo

fatherdaughterlove

My daughter drew this in memory of her dad who used to play Lion King with her when she was little.
Jul 27, 2015
Grenville25 commented on bis4betsy's blog post about being a widow
"what a very interesting thread...i dont know about you but it hit me like a truck when i realized i was ticking 'widowed' on some form...and i looked online and found, our images of widowhood are so antiquated..we need to address this…"
Jul 13, 2015
bis4betsy posted a photo

Few people understand

borrowed from website Lessons learned from life
Jul 7, 2015
Grenville25 commented on bis4betsy's blog post an innocent question
"Bits: i came to this site, and blog, today because ..i went grocery shopping today...Since my husband passed, its been six month, and i tend to like ordering my groceries delivered. today in the aisles i found myself remembering his favourites..how…"
Jul 2, 2015
Cat liked bis4betsy's blog post a description of grief
Jun 28, 2015
Marsha liked bis4betsy's blog post a description of grief
Jun 28, 2015
Callie2 commented on bis4betsy's blog post a description of grief
"Absolutely loved that! It is true, we mourn the loss until we heal and at least for me, that emptiness is somehow been replaced by comforting memories and a feeling he is around me. " to wean your eyes from the gap in the air", yes, they…"
Jun 25, 2015
Sad One liked bis4betsy's blog post a description of grief
Jun 25, 2015
smp1122 commented on bis4betsy's blog post a description of grief
"This is amazing."
Jun 25, 2015
Callie2 commented on bis4betsy's blog post an innocent question
"Memories are all we have to hold on to. Cherish them as they are precious. Try not to focus on the loss but rather the happiness they brought us. This was hard for me to do the first few years but I have become very grateful to have experienced true…"
Jun 23, 2015

Profile Information

About me

I was married to an amazing guy for 27 years and we'd been together for 30 years. He was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer in March 2009 and passed away 6 weeks later.  Enough time to say good-bye but he left us too soon.  

Our 2 beautiful daughters are adults and have adjusted to a new "normal" with one parent but my heart still aches for their loss.

bis4betsy's Photos

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Bis4betsy's Blog

it's here again

Posted on April 5, 2016 at 7:46pm 0 Comments

I'm feeling cranky, lonely, tired.

Then I realized it's April. 

Again.

That date is looming right around the corner.

Yes, that date.  The one that turned my whole world upside down.

How could it have been 7 years already?

It still feels like yesterday.

If I didn't know who I was after I lost you, I really don't know who I am now.

The word widow isn't so foreign to my lips.  But it's still uncomfortable.

I still say "our house"…

Continue

It's not the same

Posted on September 22, 2015 at 6:43am 5 Comments

I recently had surgery.  It wasn't planned and it caught me off guard to be smacked in the face with such a surprise and listening to a bunch of medical jargon, possible outcomes, and options while I was still coming out of the anesthesia.  I'm very grateful that I had a friend stay with me until my daughter showed up but it wasn't the same.  I wanted my husband by my side telling me everything was going to be alright.…

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books

Posted on August 3, 2015 at 8:10pm 2 Comments

Since I became a widow I keep stumbling across novels where the main character is a widow or widower.  They draw me in and hold me captive because I'm trying to glean a fragment of hope that I'm normal, what I've been doing, thinking, feeling the past few years is what grieving looks like. The fictional characters seem to have it a bit easier and there's usually a happy ending.  Still waiting for that rainbow, but until then I can live vicariously through a well written story.  

When…

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a description of grief

Posted on June 23, 2015 at 7:39pm 3 Comments

This is from a book I ran across at the library called To Bless the Space Between Us by John O'Donohue.  It touched my heart.  

For Grief

When you lose someone you…

Continue

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 11:47am on July 30, 2015, Kevin said…

The Dodger game was good.  It's tough going by yourself though.  I got a bit tired because of that and headed out before the end, plus I wanted to beat the traffic to get back to SD. 

At 7:45am on April 3, 2015, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, bis4betsy. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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