I was married to an amazing guy for 27 years and we'd been together for 30 years. He was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer in March 2009 and passed away 6 weeks later. Enough time to say good-bye but he left us too soon.
Our 2 beautiful daughters are adults and have adjusted to a new "normal" with one parent but my heart still aches for their loss.
I'm feeling cranky, lonely, tired.
Then I realized it's April.
That date is looming right around the corner.
Yes, that date. The one that turned my whole world upside down.
How could it have been 7 years already?
It still feels like yesterday.
If I didn't know who I was after I lost you, I really don't know who I am now.
The word widow isn't so foreign to my lips. But it's still uncomfortable.
I still say "our house"…Continue
I recently had surgery. It wasn't planned and it caught me off guard to be smacked in the face with such a surprise and listening to a bunch of medical jargon, possible outcomes, and options while I was still coming out of the anesthesia. I'm very grateful that I had a friend stay with me until my daughter showed up but it wasn't the same. I wanted my husband by my side telling me everything was going to be alright.…Continue
Since I became a widow I keep stumbling across novels where the main character is a widow or widower. They draw me in and hold me captive because I'm trying to glean a fragment of hope that I'm normal, what I've been doing, thinking, feeling the past few years is what grieving looks like. The fictional characters seem to have it a bit easier and there's usually a happy ending. Still waiting for that rainbow, but until then I can live vicariously through a well written story.