This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  • Female
  • San Diego, CA
  • United States
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bis4betsy's Page

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About me

I was married to an amazing guy for 27 years and we'd been together for 30 years. He was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer in March 2009 and passed away 6 weeks later.  Enough time to say good-bye but he left us too soon.  

Our 2 beautiful daughters are adults and have adjusted to a new "normal" with one parent but my heart still aches for their loss.

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Bis4betsy's Blog

it's here again

Posted on April 5, 2016 at 7:46pm 0 Comments

I'm feeling cranky, lonely, tired.

Then I realized it's April. 


That date is looming right around the corner.

Yes, that date.  The one that turned my whole world upside down.

How could it have been 7 years already?

It still feels like yesterday.

If I didn't know who I was after I lost you, I really don't know who I am now.

The word widow isn't so foreign to my lips.  But it's still uncomfortable.

I still say "our house"…


It's not the same

Posted on September 22, 2015 at 6:43am 5 Comments

I recently had surgery.  It wasn't planned and it caught me off guard to be smacked in the face with such a surprise and listening to a bunch of medical jargon, possible outcomes, and options while I was still coming out of the anesthesia.  I'm very grateful that I had a friend stay with me until my daughter showed up but it wasn't the same.  I wanted my husband by my side telling me everything was going to be alright.…



Posted on August 3, 2015 at 8:10pm 2 Comments

Since I became a widow I keep stumbling across novels where the main character is a widow or widower.  They draw me in and hold me captive because I'm trying to glean a fragment of hope that I'm normal, what I've been doing, thinking, feeling the past few years is what grieving looks like. The fictional characters seem to have it a bit easier and there's usually a happy ending.  Still waiting for that rainbow, but until then I can live vicariously through a well written story.  



a description of grief

Posted on June 23, 2015 at 7:39pm 3 Comments

This is from a book I ran across at the library called To Bless the Space Between Us by John O'Donohue.  It touched my heart.  

For Grief

When you lose someone you…


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At 11:47am on July 30, 2015, Kevin said…

The Dodger game was good.  It's tough going by yourself though.  I got a bit tired because of that and headed out before the end, plus I wanted to beat the traffic to get back to SD. 

At 7:45am on April 3, 2015, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, bis4betsy. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.


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