A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
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topwag (Becky)
- Female
- Abilene, KS
- United States
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topwag (Becky)'s Groups
topwag (Becky)'s Discussions
My Story
Started this discussion. Last reply by kimkirt (KK) Apr 10, 2012. 3 Replies 1 Like
Hi AllI joined WV in October and have posted some but do not believe that I properly have even introduced myself to many. I'm Becky, my husband Randy died in April 12, 2011. Yes,it is making its way…Continue
topwag (Becky)'s Page
Latest Activity
topwag (Becky) liked Dianne in Nevada's blog post Word for the Year
topwag (Becky) commented on stagemom's blog post #17 Merry Christmas
"I just know that for me it was absolutely impossible to control the emotions or even expressing them. The tidal waves came when they wanted to regardless of where I was or who I was with. As my counselor pointed out, just ride the waves when they…"
topwag (Becky) commented on Lori's blog post Thanks-for-giving
"Hugs Lori. Wishing you a gentle day today filled with fond memories and smiles of your Thanksgivings past with your Mark. <3"
topwag (Becky) commented on MrsD's blog post Tell me about him or her
"What a wonderful idea.
Everyone remembered my Randy with his great big belly laugh. Always laughing and he never knew a stranger. He always had something in common with everyone and everyone that met him liked him. He grew up in southern…"
topwag (Becky) commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Widowed in 2010
"Feelinglonely.. I am in complete agreement. The day after we placed my husband in hospice care, (through the advice of the oncologist) they called us and wanted to know if we could bump him from his chemo appt so they could schedule someone…"
topwag (Becky) joined Supa Dupa Fresh's group
Widowed in 2010
Would you like this group to have its own discussion forum? Hate the photo? Would you like to be a group coordinator (like welcome wagon)? Send a message to widville@gmail.com.
topwag (Becky) commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Long-term illness
"Hektik: I am sorry that I have to disagree with you on some things. First, it was OUR cancer and we decided at the beginning of this journey that it affected both of us and we would make decisions together.That is what he wanted. Although…"
topwag (Becky) commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Long-term illness
"I am with you gcortez55. I continue to be asked to play a part in the Relay for LIfe. I just can't to do. Cancer consumed our lives for 18 months and I just can't run away fast enough. Maybe some day that will change. I can hear my spouse…"
topwag (Becky) commented on Supa Dupa Fresh's group Long-term illness
"I have one pet peeve with cancer research.. Why must all the cancer research be in competition with each other for the $$$. PanCan, Susan Komen, and on and on. I just don't like being asked to donate to one when they All need to be eradicated.…"
topwag (Becky) commented on Cristina's blog post Billie's Most Precious Sign to Me
"What a beautiful inspiring uplifting story. What a special gift he gave you. Thank you for sharing Cristina. <3
"
Marsha commented on topwag (Becky)'s event My Randy's Birthday
"Happy birthday Randy! Becky I hope there are memories to make you smile as you remember all the birthdays shared. Be kind to yourself today. (((((Hugs)))))"
topwag (Becky) commented on crying's event "Dee Man" aka Kenny turns the big 50
"Happy Birthday Kenny. Hope your having one big bash with my husband Randy . It is his 56th. Hoping your day passes gently with fond memories and many smiles."
Dianne in Nevada commented on topwag (Becky)'s event My Randy's Birthday
"Thinking of you, Becky, on this special day."
crying commented on topwag (Becky)'s event My Randy's Birthday
"My husband will be celebrating with your randy for the 13th would of been my husbands 50th..this is going to be hard but I will be thinking of you"
Profile Information
I lost my husband 4/12/11 to cancer after 18 months of treatment. First throat cancer, which we thought we beat, only to find out three months later a second primary in his maxillary sinus cavity. It took his left eye and his hearing was lost, before the beast made its way into his brain. He was the love of my life and a second marriage for both of us. Life is lonely without him and hard to imagine life without him.
topwag (Becky)'s Photos
Topwag (Becky)'s Blog
You Can Run But You Can Not Hide
Posted on September 17, 2012 at 1:08pm 4 Comments 0 Likes
My spouse has been gone for 17 months. I know what many are thinking...wow isn't she further along by now? The first six months I was either in bed with the covers up over my head, wailing, having meltdowns or faking normalcy. (I could actually do that for short periods of time.) The following six months I was coming out of the fog and the pain was unbearable. I survived. Then I felt like I needed to get out of the house and spread my wings. I did some traveling, saw some old friends and… Continue
Is the Glass Half Empty or Half Full?
Posted on July 28, 2012 at 11:00am 7 Comments 0 Likes
It has been 15 months since my spouse left this earthly place. I keep thinking that by now I should begin to notice the joys in my life and begin to find happiness again. Why is this not happening? I know intellectually that I was blessed to have the 16 years I had with him, and I should be blessed and excited for the arrival of my new grandson in October. I have a small family and…
Continue Sometimes I tell myself, that you’re not really gone.I feel you’re tender touch and no longer feel alone.I see us walking hand in hand like we use to do.It’s hard for me to accept..... That your life…
Posted on April 12, 2012 at 5:59pm 2 Comments 2 Likes
Sometimes I tell myself, that you’re not really gone.
I feel you’re tender touch and no longer feel alone.
I see us walking hand in hand like we use to do.
It’s hard for me to accept.....
That your life on earth is through.
There were so many dreams we had not yet fulfilled,
All The hopes of a future that we were going to build.
All our friends and family have been so very kind,
They try hard to ease my broken heart
And my troubled mind.
But how…
The Twilight Zone
Posted on March 25, 2012 at 12:42pm 3 Comments 3 Likes
It will be one year on April 12, 2012 that I have been without my other half. It feels like I have been through an amputation. Part of me is gone. It is suppose to get better, isn’t it? I find myself on a see saw…. Or as I say, stuck in the twilight zone. I long for my old life as it was… and which will never be again. So…. Okay I am accepting that or have no choice not too. So here I am, not ready to close the door on my old life yet. Maybe it is the fear that my dear spouse will be…
ContinueComment Wall (9 comments)
- At 12:07pm on April 29, 2012,
Letha said… Hi Becky. It can be quite lonely, can't it. I've tried to make some new friends, but they all seem to be too busy with their own lives and current friends to bother with the "widow" down the street. Couples we had as friends when Michael was alive all vanished the day after the funeral. My Mother says the wives all probably think I'll be after their husbands now, so avoid me. (I couldn't care less about anyone else's husband..I already had the best!) I do pretty well most days, but lately have felt really alone. Maybe because my sister was here for ten days and now has returned to her home, so the house is quiet again. Ahh well, life goes on I guess. You take care and be kind to yourself.
- At 11:16pm on April 10, 2012,
Susan B said… thinking of you on the 12th...I lost my hubby to Leukemia; complications of his absent immune system left him open to a fungalinfection in his sinus. He spent 10 weeks in a isolation room at Stanford Hospital, then came home to hospice for 7 days. It was such a wonderful thing he could come home again. But reliving those last awful days make his angelversary pretty tough. My hugs go out to you.
- At 10:45pm on April 1, 2012,
Anne63 said… Topwag, Sorry that I didn't respond earlier to your kind friend's invite - still learning my way around here. My condolences to you - I also lost my husband to cancer and agree that it is like an amputation.
- At 8:34am on March 24, 2012,
Marsha said… I look forward to getting to know you. So sorry for the reason you are here but glad you found WV. (((((Hugs)))))
- At 3:53am on March 23, 2012,
Nancyfc said… Hi! Thank you for friending me! This is really a nice webboard, so welcoming.
Sending Blessings,
Nancy
- At 8:23pm on March 14, 2012,
carolynne said… Thank you for the friend request. It is good to hear from you, I wondered what had happened to you after you joined. I hope you are taking care of yourself and finding moments of peace.
- At 8:27pm on October 29, 2011,
Dianne in Nevada said… 
I'm pleased you found us, topwag. Take a look around and join our conversations - in the Groups, Forum discussions and chat room. You'll find wonderful support here.
- At 6:52am on October 27, 2011,
Lisa (lost) Lamb said…
- At 8:10pm on October 26, 2011, carolynne said…
- I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you've found us. I hope you'll find the same support and understanding that I have. The groups are really helpful, you'll talk to people in circumstances similar to yours. The chirping noise you hear is chat...the window is collapsed in the bottom right hand corner of your screen. Join us when you're ready.
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