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camom
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  • United States
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Marie318 left a comment for camom
"Camom, Here is my two cents. Unlike when we married our first husbands, where we walked into a relationship that was built together, new relationships are like buying a used car or house. We want it, it looks great, it appears it will make us happy.…"
Sep 30

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At 10:01am on September 30, 2018, Marie318 said…

Camom,

Here is my two cents. Unlike when we married our first husbands, where we walked into a relationship that was built together, new relationships are like buying a used car or house. We want it, it looks great, it appears it will make us happy. However, you wouldn't want to buy it without a warranty in the event something goes wrong. Marriage provides a feeling of security in a relationship and tells the world you're truly committed. The marriage certificate indicates that it is truly serious because the law says it is. And there lays the problem. If you can afford to lose everything that you would have to give up to remarry than it's an easy decision to remarry. If you can't afford to lose it (i.e. current benefits (financial, medical etc.) for you and your children, future benefits,  etc.) if for some reason the marriage doesn't work out, then my suggestion is that you have a commitment ceremony. It's a affirmation of love and commitment to one another and provides a social celebration and platform for people to recognize your devotion but without the legal ramifications. Just be sure to have him sign an agreement that you also sign and notarize that states what each of you come into the relationship continues to remain theirs, and that anything jointly purchased will be divided if necessary in the future. 

That's my two cents. I don't wish to take the romance out of it. I've just heard so many stories of people who gave up their current and future security (that includes benefits) only to be left with nothing. Love will understand, lawyers don't. 

At 4:35am on January 17, 2013, kimkirt (KK) said…

camom,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am sorry for the reason that brings you here but glad you have found us. This site and the wonderful people here have helped so many of us with fellowship along this journey.  I hope that you can find comfort and hope here like so many of us have among others who “get it.”  Have a look around and please feel free to contact me if I can be of any help. Hugs!

~KK

 
 
 

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