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desare
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  • cairns
  • Australia
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  • Ann
  • laurajay
  • Dianne in Nevada

desare's Discussions

i just dont know what to do

Started this discussion. Last reply by Susan yesterday. 18 Replies

I'm so lost.i don't know how to be happy anymore.i have no direction and no desire.I made pete my world.i just cant find a reason anymore for trying orsurviving.whats it all about.Continue

what to say to people who tell you how to handle things.IM STUCK.

Started this discussion. Last reply by booktime (Susan) on Wednesday. 4 Replies

Hi,i lost my pete last year it was one of  the worst year of my life.Pete left me without warning,he was my world and my future and he loved me so so much and I him.the laughter we had together and…Continue

 

desare's Page

Latest Activity

Susan replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"HI Desare,    I seem to be having that same problem. .. I'm OK when something is PLANNED for me to do, or to go to work.  ... But when I'm home by myself, I just don't know what to do.    Ever since High…"
yesterday
ashleynicole8378 replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"Omg I feel you about friends ignoring your pain. In going through the same thing and its not even been 6 months yet. I've always been kinda the out ball of my friend group anyway, but I'm beginning to think they only tolerated me because I…"
Thursday
ashleynicole8378 replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"I feel the same way. I stay busy because I work and have a 2 year old son. But every day is just going through the motions. I adore my son, but hate being a solo parent. I find myself thinking only 16 more years until he's grown. Then I feel…"
Thursday
booktime (Susan) replied to desare's discussion what to say to people who tell you how to handle things.IM STUCK.
"Yes, be gentle with yourself. There is no timeline to grief. It just is. And you are still pretty raw, only a year. I am at almost 4 years and it has only been this past year that I have really opened up to possibilities. I am trying to say Yes,…"
Wednesday
Callie2 replied to desare's discussion what to say to people who tell you how to handle things.IM STUCK.
"You are grieving and a year isn't very long, your feelings are quite understandable. We heal at our own pace, within our own time. If you're needing your space, let them know that and tell them as soon as you begin feeling up to it,…"
Wednesday
JUDY1951 replied to desare's discussion what to say to people who tell you how to handle things.IM STUCK.
"I too am a "loner" only spent time with my husband and sons and grandchildren. Being your first year is very hard, so don't beat yourself up, and others although trying to help, well until they walk in your shoes have no idea what you…"
Tuesday
booktime (Susan) replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"Ann, a year and a half is not long at all. Grief is still sharp and can take you by surprise by the sharpness and the depth. July is a month full of memories: wedding anniversary, his birthday wrapped up in memories of his quick decline. I am…"
Jun 14
CLT1965 (Cindy) replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"Ann, I get what you are saying. I don't have any children either.  I have my two cats that keep me company. You did everything with your spouse and everything revolved around that person.  Now that my husband is gone, and I am getting…"
Jun 13
desare replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"do you know this is the real first bit of news I have really accepted,im glad its just not me ,omg that doesn't sound right.Yes I was a homebody am still.our home was our joy we enjoyed each other so much and didn't reallymiss the…"
Jun 12
vintage56(barb) replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"I had a similar situation, Frank and I were everything to each other. So much love. After he died, I decided to try and take all the love I couldn't give him anymore, and send it out into the world. The world needs a lot of love. I sponsor…"
Jun 11
Imogen replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"I wonder if I will ever be "happy".  After Doug died my mother-in-law said to me. "You won't be happy for 20 years, sorry to tell you that".  Here spouse died about 25 years ago. I just fill my time, I mow the…"
Jun 11
JUDY1951 replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"So sorry for your loss. It has been 4 years for me. I have 4 sons and 2 have left the state with my grandchildren. My husband was self employed and I kept business running first 3 years and was going to split with the 3 sons who were involved.…"
Jun 10
Callie2 replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"I have to agree with Susan. Most people are still grieving at one year. You need to be patient with yourself. It takes as long as it will, and until you work through it completely, you will probably have days when you feel hopeless and other days…"
Jun 9
booktime (Susan) replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"A year is not long. There is no timeline on grief. I know in my first year, half of it was numb and I couldn't think clearly at all. I'm now in my 4th year and there are more good days than bad. Hugs to you."
Jun 7
Lindi replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"Sorry to hear you're estranged from your family, just when you need them now.   You need to keep your friends close.and I'm sure your Pete wouldn't want you to suffer so much and feel so lonely.  It's the one thing that…"
Jun 7
WithoutJim replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"Keep posting and reading here. You will find LOTS of support to help you through the tough times. The more you post, the more support. So don't hesitate to post, post, post. Look at the different groups available on this site and join as many…"
Jun 7

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hey,i lost my Pete last year we were together for 17 years.he took me so long to find we had the most amazing 17 years I was so lucky to have had this man love me.i miss him so much and am finding it so hard to cope with life I'm trying to find a way to live again.

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At 1:13pm on June 5, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Hi desare. We have a private group for our Australian members to make connections through First Light Widowed Association that you may be interested in. Here's a link to the group page:

http://widowedvillage.org/group/first-light-widowed-association

At 1:12pm on June 5, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, desare. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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