"Hi Roxanne- I have been posting here infrequently in the last month, but I saw that your husband died of pancreatic cancer as did mine. My husband's diagnosis came on March 13 2012 and he died on Oct 17th. So we got 7 mos together. …"
"Karen, yes I 'get it'. I'm 14 weeks out from the worst day of my life. I have been where you are. I can't say that I feel better more than 3 mos out, because I don't know that I won't feel as you are…"
"arleenp- I know how painful it can be to say something that is so personal and true and that makes others uncomfortable. What I hate is that I am unable to not sob when someone gives me comfort like a hug or hand like your friend did. I know…"
"SkipM, love your writing. I really relate to the waiting as well. It's less than 3 mos for me, but it is very very hard to step out of my comfort zone which is just about anything outside the house these days! I hope that I…"
"I will be the first to admit, I was one of those deniers who didn't understand what widowhood was like. My own dad died in '92 from lung cancer. My mom just plugged along and I never once thought to ask how she was holding up…"
"Wanted to add, that maybe with the widow's benefit, the smaller house in an area that is less expensive, you could work if you chose to, not out of necessity. Its strange that my husband and I were married 37 years also. We married very young,…"
"Debbie- I sent you a PM, too, but the character limitation didn't allow me to write everything. You know you can take the widow's benefit at age 60, right? It is a percentage of what your husband's Soc Sec benefit would…"
"Dear Suz and EVERYONE who has contributed to this discussion that is still so much a part of my grief since my husband died 2.5 mos ago. I reinforces that I am not alone, but also that it is very very hard work to find the right care for both…"
I HATE (shouldn't use that word so much I know) when people tell me I'm strong. I feel like they say that so they can feel they are off the hook for caring how I really feel or asking me if I need anything. I would say…"
"I have been haunted by the minute by minute events of my husband's last hours. I really really NEED to ask someone who sees a lot of people go through dying if what I saw in my husband was normal. We both thought he would live…"
"Dee- Sorry to welcome you here with us. My loss was on Oct 17. My computer keyboard has been wet with tears ever since. Like you I miss my husband every moment. I don't think I will ever not miss him. Wishing you and your boys…"
Hey forever 56 - I just saw your posting for a friend and I am honoured to have you as a friend. Yes, my husband died from PC and he was good looking but twice as good looking on the inside. He was a wonderful husband and I miss him so. We were married at 17 - that sounds so young now! We celebrated our 44 wedding anniversary - the last one before he died. In fact, the picture of us on my page is our 40th anniversary. We threw a big party and everyone said why didn't you wait until your 50th. I am certainly glad we didn't. That's like retirement. We both retired in 2000 - him with 33 years in at Chrysler Canada and I with 20 years in at Vickerd Brothers Transport. Everyone said we were crazy because we were only 51 years old. But we could get a full pension and he had a bad knee (4 surgeries) and I had a bad back (3) surgeries so we thought that we would enjoy our retirement before the body gave out. And we did but we had much more planned. He was diagnosed with PC in August of 2010 but he had been sick and in and out of the hospitals since October of 2009. He tried everything he was told about - chemo (they couldn't give him the strongest one because he was weak from diarrhea since October of 09, cyberknife radiation which only made him weaker and helped the cancer to move into the liver. He had to endure 4 surgeries - one to reroute his bowel so food could go passed two to rid the liver of bile. The stents would not work for him so they had to puncture his liver to get the bile to drain. He started out at 225 lbs., 6 ft. 3" tall . When he died in June of 2011, he weighed 117 lbs. It was horrible to just watch him wasting away. I still miss him terribly and wish with all my heart that I could have gone with him. I live near Windsor, about 20 miles east of Windsor. Write to me and tell me about your husband.
I like your name too and glad our parents knew how to spell it correctly! I'm so sorry for the reason you are here but glad you found WV. It has helped me on this journey. I lost my husband January 19, 2011. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for the support of the people here who got me through many a lonely night. I hope you join us in chat when you're comfortable. ((((Hugs)))))
I'm so sorry for your loss, but you came to the right place. There is great support here. I lost my Elaine on March 22, I don't know where I would be without the good people on Widowed Village. There is a group of us that get together for lunch once in a while, if you ever do get to S. Cal, let us know and we'll arrange a lunch then.
I hope you can find the same help in here that I have, feel free to write any time you'd like.
Hello Forever 56 I am so sorry for your loss. I never really know what to say but welcome to this site. It is so very hard for people who have not lost their significant other to understand what your going through. People here all have lost their love and understand. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. I will do my best to help you. I will send you a friend request, if you wish you can accept.
Welcome forever56: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".
forever56, welcome to Widowed Village. I am sorry for the reason that brings you here but glad you have found us. This site and the wonderful people here have helped so many of us with fellowship along this journey. I hope that you can find comfort and hope here like so many of us have among others who “get it.” Have a look around and please feel free to contact me if I can be of any help. Hugs!