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guilloma
  • Female
  • Redding, CA
  • United States
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Guilloma's Friends

  • Larryh0823
  • Dianne in Nevada

guilloma's Discussions

Please tell me this raw, stabbing grief goes away

Started this discussion. Last reply by guilloma on Tuesday. 18 Replies

My husband died on January 25, a little over 3 weeks ago.  Does this gnawing, gut-wrenching grief ever go away???  This grief is like nothing I've experienced.  I cry and I cry and I get no relief,…Continue

 

guilloma's Page

Latest Activity

guilloma commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2017
"I am counting the day a success when I continue to breathe.  It seems like such a simple act, breathing, but some moments, it is a feat of pure willpower."
16 hours ago
guilloma replied to guilloma's discussion Please tell me this raw, stabbing grief goes away
"I feel this stabbing raw grief again today.  Tomorrow is exactly 8 weeks since he passed; plus it's the 22nd which we honored every month as "our day" (we met on May 22).  It is all overwhelming me right now.  I just…"
Tuesday
Lostmyeverything replied to guilloma's discussion Please tell me this raw, stabbing grief goes away
"The food was getting stuck in my throat as well. I can swallow now, soon to be 4 months out, but it just kind of sits their in my throat....the whole day. The hard to breathe is better, still returns some days"
Mar 18
guilloma commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 70s
"Thank you for the suggestion, Rob.  I keep flirting with Meetup, as a way to get out, but it feels too soon: I just don't care.  However, I did notice that in my area of far Northern California, there is no group for widowed people.…"
Mar 18
guilloma replied to guilloma's discussion Please tell me this raw, stabbing grief goes away
"It's incredibly, shockingly painful.  I had no idea; could have no idea.  And, sadly, you are right - you can't really open up to people who have not gone through it - they just don't know.   I was not really expecting…"
Mar 18
Imogen replied to guilloma's discussion Please tell me this raw, stabbing grief goes away
"Nothing like the pain of losing your spouse.  The other half of you.  I threw up for 6 months. Lost 50 pounds in 4 months.  I couldn't believe how much it hurt. We had no time to talk, no last words, he was just gone.  His…"
Mar 18
Sissy replied to guilloma's discussion Please tell me this raw, stabbing grief goes away
"Becky,    I have no idea where my strength came from either....  I also kept a journal while he was sick.. At first I just needed to keep track of how he was everyday, and what he said etc. ... But I have kept writing a little bit…"
Mar 15
Becky replied to guilloma's discussion Please tell me this raw, stabbing grief goes away
"Guilloma, My husband was diagnosed Jan 10, 2012 with stage IV metastatic renal carcinoma... Kidney cancer that spread. He did not have any symptoms. When the oncology team came to his room to deliver the news and discuss the treatment plan, myself…"
Mar 14
guilloma commented on Orb101214's blog post Small Rant
"My husband's son called about his inherited account the day that my husband died.  I had not even visited the funeral home yet to make the arrangements, and his son was calling to claim his money.  People continue to amaze me. For…"
Mar 14
guilloma replied to VenusBlue's discussion Another week... in the group Widowed in 2017
"I prefer to think of it as a tornado - emotions swirling all around, and every second or minute or hour, some different feeling or horrible thought or wonderful memory gets thrown out.  And we have to deal with it, no matter what it is.…"
Mar 12
guilloma replied to VenusBlue's discussion Another week... in the group Widowed in 2017
"I am with you, VenusBlue.  I am in week 6 as well, day 46.  I was not much of a calendar watcher before this, but I am keeping time that way now, too.  It's surreal, this whole mess is surreal.  I find myself accepting it…"
Mar 12
guilloma replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"I find myself thinking that, too, NoLonger.  Sometimes I feel jealous when I see couples older than me with their spouses - why does she still get to have her husband?!  More often now, I just feel compassion for them, and think, "Oh…"
Mar 10
guilloma replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"I am so sorry that you are here, Chere.  I know exactly how you feel.  I am 6 weeks in - and I hate that I have to get used to this.  Hugs to you and your dear family."
Mar 8
guilloma replied to kellygreenstrat (Colin)'s discussion Fast Forward Button in the group Widowed in 2017
"I have never been afraid of the future - I just assumed that things would "work out" and I never spared a moment for fear.  Now, I am so scared.  I am scared of the months and years ahead without my anchor.  And months and…"
Mar 8
guilloma commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2017
"kellygreenstrat, it is the little things that knock us down.  I've cried cleaning out the litter box because that was a chore that my husband took on.  I, too, thought that it would be "one day at a time" but it is really a…"
Mar 8
guilloma replied to Larryh0823's discussion Lost wife on January 20th in the group Widowed in 2017
"I lost my husband on January 25.  Day 42 today, 6 weeks exactly.    I am 45 and cannot imagine that I have to spend the next 30 or 40 years without him.  Our 19 year old daughter still lives at home, thank goodness.  She is…"
Mar 8

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At 2:15pm on February 13, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, guilloma. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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