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jayne
  • Female
  • Culpeper, VA
  • United States
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  • jlsrdh
  • judy
 

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Latest Activity

jlsrdh left a comment for jayne
"Jayne I was able to put up all our Christmas decorations by my self..I turned on the outside lights tonight. The small tree looks nice, and all the ornaments that we so special to us are on the tree. The inside is done too. I did fill the back of my…"
Nov 17
jayne commented on Pegasus's blog post Thinking Ahead
"hi,its been 6 months some days i think im ok i can do this but no im not there yet,,to see me you might think im okay,i hide it im not, dont have a big family my sister is a in tenneesse im here visiting noe till wed,,, thanksgiving my son will be…"
Nov 12
jlsrdh left a comment for jayne
"Hi Jayne, I feel your pain. I admire that you are working. I’m so glad I retired last Halloween. I was a dental hygienist for the same dentist for 38 years. No way could I have gone to work and had a different patient every hour ask the…"
Nov 7
jayne commented on jlsrdh's blog post Oh what a year can change
"my husband had a stroke the end of april he died 10 days later  the first 3 days he was talking and kidding around a little but then on day 7 he wasnt doing anything but sleeping the he passed away at 230 in the morning,,my whole world fell…"
Nov 6
jayne commented on jlsrdh's blog post 2 months
"six months for me just going thru the motions,good days when i think ive got this! but no i dont!i stop by the grave 2,3 times a week putting flowers down,take to him for a sec then leave,,i havent figered out what im doing or why and where im going…"
Oct 21
judy left a comment for jayne
"Hi Jayne, Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.   Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask…"
Sep 22

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im 67 and still working i,do have two dogs to come home to at night,the rest of my family lives 45 miles away.i try to keep busy with friends but it seems to get harder now,,

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At 7:24pm on November 17, 2018, jlsrdh said…

Jayne I was able to put up all our Christmas decorations by my self..I turned on the outside lights tonight. The small tree looks nice, and all the ornaments that we so special to us are on the tree. The inside is done too. I did fill the back of my SUV with items I cannot or won’t use again. Goodwill got it all. I told Tom I hope he likes how I decorated everything. Today I was sad and weepy. I think it’s a combination of missing him, the holidays are almost here and he won’t be. It one day at a time. It’s almost 3 months since he died, some days I relive it like it was yesterday, and other days it’s like he has been gone longer. I’ll get through this, in my time and way. 

Hugs 

jlsrdh

At 4:59am on November 7, 2018, jlsrdh said…

Hi Jayne, I feel your pain. I admire that you are working. I’m so glad I retired last Halloween. I was a dental hygienist for the same dentist for 38 years. No way could I have gone to work and had a different patient every hour ask the question “what happened. We moved 4 months later from Ca to Az. I started with a great grief counselor just a week after Toms death. I don’t have the skills to process this great grief. I’ve seen her now 11 times. I have a grief workbook where I have to do 1 chapter every week. Just really makes you think about this grief process. My mom lives here and my sister, as I had no family in Ca. He really wanted me here Incase anything ever happened to him. Well, it did. This week my mom called. She doesn’t know she angered me when she said  you are so young to be a widow. I was just silent to that comment. I’m really ok with my decisions to give most of his tools to his friend at Thanksgiving. I’m keeping thing I might need. I think going to see your husband 2 times a week is fine. It’s what you need to do for you. I have Toms ashes in. The bedroom with me. I talk to the box, touch it almost daily. I talk to him out loud everyday. Telling him my day. I know he is here 2 nights ago I went to bed with one of my headaches. He knew they usually kept me awake all night. I said Tom please make my headache go away. When I woke up the next day, I was omg the headache went away and I slept the WHOLE night. Sleep is still hard. I usually wake up multiple times. We purchased this house in 2015, had it gutted and remodeled all of 2016. This was our favorite house. I won’t sell, as this was our plan. Only difference now is he is no longer in our plan. I feel safe here. Tom always said his next move would be into heaven or retirement home.  I did not know he told the neighbors it was his plan to get me settled for the future. He was not I’ll.  Just turned 71, but you would never know it as active as he was. He was still working from home. I’m 10 years younger but he always said you know odds are that you will outlive me. I used to hate when he said that and I always replied you never know what the future holds. 39 years later he was correct. Yes, most of the time I’m now home alone. I’m not however self isolating like I did the first 4/5 weeks. I think I honor him when I do things. He loved the holidays. Yes I’ll decorate to honor him. What ever I cannot do by myself, I’ll change. I gave away our LED Christmas tree to someone who needed it. My grief counselors idea instead of giving to goodwill. I ordered a slim, small tree. All our ornaments were from out travels. It will be very hard, but I’ll use only the ones that ment the most to us. Others I’ll keep, and others I’ll give away. I purchased different ribbon and garland. It, for me needs to look different than our other tree. This Will be the first time decorating this house for the holidays. So, I have memories to our stuff but not tied to this house. You need to do what is ok with your heart. It’s all hard. Some days you just need to get through now. The TED talks on grief are good. One that I suggest you watch is 

more to dying than meets the eye. Martha Atkins TED San Antonio 2013.

i sent it to everybody I’m in contact with. Even my grief counselor said. Wow. In January in joining her group session for loss of a spouse. She told me Tuesday she plans to show this. I felt better after I watched it, maybe you will too. I’m sending hugs your way. It’s all so hard with them gone every day   I know

jlsrdh

julie

At 10:22pm on September 22, 2018, judy said…

Hi Jayne,

Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but happy that you found us. You will find caring, loving support and friendship here.

 

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  Come in the chat room which is available 24/7 to you.  I look forward to getting to know you and support you through your journey.

 
 
 

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