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  • Kohler, WI
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Being a widowed parent...........

Posted on August 24, 2017 at 6:29am 4 Comments

Juggling a full time job and part time job, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, doing the grocery shopping, making all of the meals, making sure the car is properly maintained, taking care of three “high maintenance/special needs” pets, doing all of the yard work (including snow removal each winter), paying the bills, worrying about finances, raising a teenage son and making sure all of his needs are being met as well as taking care of myself, is really, really unbelievably hard. Being…


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At 3:56am on January 11, 2018, Carol FB said…

I don't know your situation, but would hope you may have family or close friends (male, maybe friends of your husband) that would help to mentor your son. I found, most unfortunately, that my husband's family just stopped talking to me all together after he passed.  We all went through a lot with my husbands disabilities, but there was never a time I felt they didn't agree with all I did to make his life the best it could be.   I hope your son will find guidance through those threads, or maybe through a friends family.   I know it is not the same, but may mean a lot to your son over time.   Are your Parents near you?  It is forward of me to ask.  What about your husbands folks?   Either way, we have to take each day as it comes.  I am finding these days that inch toward that 1 year mark especially tough.  I don't know if it will 'seem' better or different to me after that.  From what I have heard from other widows, it may not.  

At 4:02pm on January 9, 2018, Carol FB said…

Thank you again for your words and encouragement.   One day at a time.  Some days, one moment at a time..... those are the hardest days.Today is one of those days for me.  You are still young, but that doesn't make it easier, I know that.  My husband was 9 years older than I am, and even though I may exceed you by a few years, I still understand that we still want our  husbands with us, to live out our dreams, our years.... enjoy the fruits of our labor. To enjoy seeing our children grow up, get married, have children.   I can go on, but you understand.  I hope I can meet you and help you and your family in any way possible.   Thanks again.

At 9:20am on January 9, 2018, Carol FB said…

I am sad to learn of your story.  Your son was young and at an age where his Dad was so important to him.  I appreciate how hard that has been along with your own struggles.   I know I was lucky to have had both of my girls finish college before my husband died.  It didn't make it easier by any means.  My husband had been disabled from a severe stroke for 20 months before he died.  He was doing really well all things considered, but had another stroke that we did not catch.   I felt grateful we could bring him home with hospice and be with him in the end.   I have only lived here in WI since the end of June.  My youngest daughter lives here in Greenfield about 5 minutes from me.  This has been the best thing for both of us.  She has been with the same boyfriend for 11+ years now, and is getting her Masters degree in Social Work this spring.  She and her boyfriend hope to move to the Pacific Northwest after she graduates.  That will make me sad, but I wouldn't trade a single moment that we have had since I moved.  Her boyfriends parents live in Sheboygan Falls near you.   I go up there from time to time to visit with his Mother.  We often meet different places sort of in between here and there.  I was surprised that I could not really find Widow support groups in the Milwaukee area.  At least my searches have come up empty.  My daughter says she can probably find some resources.  We will see what happens there.  My oldest daughter lives in Boston.   My kids were born and raised in Massachusetts ( but I am not from there).  My girls struggle with their own grief in losing their Father before either of them married or had kids.  We went through a great deal of 'mourning' the man he was after his stroke.  I don't know if it makes it easier or harder, either way.  I am sure you understand.  I am now 'reliving' all of those last days he had last year..... that is hard.  I don't know if I will ever not think about it.   I just try to be grateful everyday, and keep myself busy.   I find I cannot stop myself from 'telling my story' to people I meet.  This is something I need to learn not to do.   Please stay in touch.  I can let you know the next time I am up in that area if you like.

At 7:40pm on August 23, 2017, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, journey. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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