"One thing that makes a difference between divorce and death is that if you lose your spouse who was also your soul mate then the loss is even more severe than ever. I had been divorced before to someone I was in love with and I didn't see it…"
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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
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katpilot
- Male
- Scottsdale, AZ
- United States
- Blog Posts (4)
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katpilot's Discussions
Keeping Memories Alive
Started this discussion. Last reply by widow85 Jul 31, 2014. 7 Replies 0 Likes
From the beginning, Kathy's voice was on our answering machine. I could not bring myself to delete it and as it turned out, her dad would call my house every once in a while to just hear his…Continue
katpilot's Page
Latest Activity
katpilot replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
katpilot replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion When did you remove your wedding rings?
"Zwrest I am sorry you had to find us but it is good to have you on board. Slick really has it right. "There are no rights and wrongs with grief". No two grief's are the same. We just share the same loss of a loved one. We do…"
katpilot replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion When did you remove your wedding rings?
"I never could nor would remove my wedding ring even after seven years. I will always be connected to Kathy and wear it in her honor. Here is an unusual twist however. Now that Patty and I are married and she of course felt the same way as I do…"
Dianne in Nevada commented on katpilot's blog post When We Realize Who We Have Become
"Wish there was a "love" button to click on your last post, Steve. Thank you."
katpilot commented on katpilot's blog post When We Realize Who We Have Become
"I am thinking that "just Dianne" is who Vern fell in love with. Of course you are and that is what makes it so cool. It was only when I realized and accepted that I was just Steve that I could go back to being the man who Kathy fell in…"
katpilot commented on katpilot's blog post When We Realize Who We Have Become
"Yes "just Dianne" is who Vern fell in love with. That is what it all means to let go.
You truly do "get it".I know that letting go is a description of moving through sorrow to the point where you start to remember who you…"
Dianne in Nevada commented on katpilot's blog post When We Realize Who We Have Become
"Your words are beautiful, Steve. Back when you first posted this in 2015 and last Friday when you shared about your new life.
I remember wondering how "just Dianne" could ever be worth knowing since "Vern & Dianne" had…"
katpilot replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion For those who do not want to date ...
"Yes I only speak of myself. And...you are right. It takes a lot of courage to go it alone. I was speaking about being afraid to lose somebody again. Kathy's death was a nightmare I can't imagine going through again."
katpilot replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion For those who do not want to date ...
"It is interesting Dianne how this thread has suddenly come back to life. I have always believed in the words "Never say never." Kathy would always remind me of that and how we are so often surprised by life. I used to so often say…"
Rainy (Misty) commented on katpilot's blog post When We Realize Who We Have Become
"Much peace and happiness to you and your new wife. "
katpilot commented on katpilot's blog post When We Realize Who We Have Become
"What I should ad to my blog is that while I may be "just Steve" Kathy will live inside me for all of time. It took me four years to arrive at this understanding and now at eight years I am married again. Within this marriage to another…"
katpilot replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion For those who do not want to date ...
"When I first joined this discussion it was because of the header:
"who truly don't want to date"
"who do not feel the need to date"
"who believe they can be content alone"
All of those were me. All of those are…"
Rainy (Misty) commented on katpilot's blog post When We Realize Who We Have Become
"Hi, I just wanted to say this post spoke to me. I am struggling with my identity at the moment. I'm only 25 days "out" as you all say. Who knew that would even be a thing? You're words on the post resonate…"
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- Death cannot stop true love. It can only delay it for a while.. "The Princess Bride"
katpilot's Photos
Comment Wall (9 comments)
- At 6:35pm on December 1, 2015,
Bonnie said… - You are gifted in so many ways. I have just read your blog and see that you paint and play music as well as write with words that strike just exactly the right chord. Thanks for the poems. They spoke to me right where I needed, and I am grateful for that. The day my husband died I told a friend who called, "Now I have to find out who I am without Ed." I'm still trying to find that out. Thanks for showing me that it is going to take a lot more time. Your words are beautiful and give me strength.
- At 10:20am on August 7, 2015,
Dark Rose said… - Thank you for the comment. If there is a reason it's not the one I want. I just feel so lost
- At 6:21am on November 14, 2014,
ebwilkie said… Thanks katpilot. I firmly believe that we will be together again in the hereafter and we'll will celebrate our anniversary together again. Thanks for friending me.
- At 6:17am on July 13, 2014,
silverlady said… - Thank you for responding to my first-ever post. And thank you for your response to nanyde's subsequent post about losing our lives when we lost our spouses. I found a lot of hope and encouragement in your words. You are bringing comfort to many, and I hope that brings you comfort as well.
- At 11:39am on July 4, 2014,
Hornet (Cindy) said…
Hello, Katpilot. Thank you for thinking of me...really, really down lately. But I've done alright today. Waiting for the sun to go down and the sky to light up...it will be over soon. I appreciate your words so much. They comfort me. I hope someday I can be of some comfort to you as well. I hope you have a good day today. Take good care of yourself.
- At 2:06pm on July 1, 2014,
Ellen said… Thank you for wanting us to be friends. Actually, today was not too bad - the days leading up to today were much more difficult. I hope you too will have softer days while we travel this journey of grief that was thrust upon all of us. Peace and love. Ellen
- At 4:43am on July 1, 2014,
Juls said… Thank you. I have only one platonic male friend - he's more like a brother since we've been friends since high school, but he is also married. Seems tough at my age to make single friends that aren't divorced women on the search for "a new man". Ugh. Anyway, I keep telling myself, I'm in a much better place than I was even a year ago - certainly better than 2 years ago. Keep going - keep breathing - keep being true to myself. Take care.
- At 11:11am on May 23, 2014,
Spazzola (JohnLee) said… Hello katpilot. Thank you for sharing with me how you have handled the "affection void." It seems most of us aren't as lucky as you are finding a platonic friend. I enjoyed the quote you shared and will think on it. I have considered posting on craigslist strictly platonic (I have responded to a few to no avail) but I am worried about people putting me on. How did you verify who they were?
- At 9:21am on March 30, 2014,
LifesAJourney said… Welcome to Widowed Village. I am very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You will find caring support and friendship here.
Here is the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you will find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.
Katpilot's Blog
FLOWER POWER
Posted on March 12, 2016 at 5:43am 1 Comment 2 Likes
flowers.JPG Five years ago as I began this journey I started keeping fresh flowers in my home. I had lost the most important element that made a house a home. I had lost my bride. Now I had given her flowers on those usual occasions and we would have fresh flowers on…
ContinueSHE SANG TO ME
Posted on November 4, 2015 at 8:49am 3 Comments 0 Likes
Music has always been a large part of my life. Maybe it started in high school when my brother and I started a band.. ..kind of like Marty Mcfly and the Pinheads only more like that upstart group "The Beatles". However it began, it never ended. Oh the band broke up alright but the music stayed inside. It was more than just the melody. It was the lyrics. I saw the words. I felt the words. They spoke to me about every emotion I could ever have experienced. When my first wife divorced me she…
ContinueTHE COLOR BLACK
Posted on October 28, 2015 at 10:40am 6 Comments 6 Likes
Two weeks ago would have been the time of year Kathy and I would be driving back down from Alberta to Arizona. We were snow birds in reverse. Here in the Valley of the Sun where we lived and I grew up, winters saw almost no change in color among the tree leaves. But driving down the hill............That was where the colors were abundant. Those years were full of color. Kathy new the change of seasons growing up in a farming community near Calgary. I only knew bloody hot and not so hot.…
ContinueWhen We Realize Who We Have Become
Posted on October 16, 2015 at 5:19pm 12 Comments 5 Likes
Last night I came to a realization , an epiphany if you will about who I have become. I am more than four and a half years now on this grief's journey which is enough time to make such a discovery. I now understand who I am and how I shall be for the rest of my days. I read a post about triggers inside our homes and one persons need to remove them…
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