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kenslove
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So many different identities....

Started this discussion. Last reply by Susan Dec 6, 2017. 19 Replies

For 25 years, I was Ken's girl.  Before that, I was a daughter, a divorcee and a single mom.  For the past year and a half, I have been a widow.Now, for the first time ever, I am ready to be me.  Its…Continue

Tags: on, moving

My first anniversary- alone

Started this discussion. Last reply by kenslove Mar 13, 2017. 5 Replies

My husband and I were together for 25 years, but were only married last April when he realized he wouldn't be with us much longer.  He wanted me to get his social security, but he only lived for 20…Continue

It's time to see you through our eyes

Started this discussion. Last reply by Susan Mar 21, 2017. 7 Replies

My husband asked me once how you can tell if it's really love. I told him it's when you learn to love yourself because of the way you see yourself reflected in The other persons eyes. When they…Continue

I feel like it's killing me inside, but I can't actually f feel it

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Aug 22, 2016. 2 Replies

One of the things I brought my husband and I together when we first met was that we had both been through very painful experiences with former relationships. One of the things I learned to do before…Continue

 

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Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Kenslove,     Yes, please teach them that! Now that Paul is gone, I'm lost. He was my life! Feel free to use me as an example of what NOT to do. Don't depend solely on a man. Susan"
Dec 6, 2017
kenslove replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"This is one thing I am determined to teach my granddaughters- to see themselves through their own eyes first and foremost.  It is not a lesson we learn in life.  Just look at the Disney films which almost always have a young heroine being…"
Dec 1, 2017
Seashell replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Dear Ken's girl - I know what you mean. For 35 years I was "Jerry's wife" - and a mother and grandmother. Then I became a "widow" and a "single" woman but I had never lived as a single woman. It's been 4…"
Nov 30, 2017
chef (John) replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Congratulations, Patrick. You also have an excellent vocabulary to describe both the situation of being widowed and the process of continuing to live. [One of my "milestones" was transitioning from using "our" to…"
Nov 15, 2017
Patrick replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"When I accepted Sharon was dead I found that many of my hopes, dreams and expectations no longer made sense and I set about dismantling them. During that time I found it difficult to sustain motivation to do anything; I was studying a music course…"
Nov 15, 2017
WolfgalVal replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Thanks barbee for this inspirational post.  I too wish to embrace moving forward in life. - Peace."
Nov 12, 2017
barbee replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"After my husband died I moved to another city and bought a house. I had to buy furniture and do some major remodeling. I was 72 years old. Scared the living-bejesus outta me! That was almost five years ago. Now, looking back, I see  they…"
Nov 10, 2017
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Good Morning Kenslove,      I know what you mean by making decisions on your own. When I decided to replace our old sofa/recliner with a smaller love seat, I actually turned around to ask Paul for what he thought about the color I…"
Nov 10, 2017
kenslove replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Some things I will never get rid of.  Photos are top of that list.  I also wear some of Ken's clothes- the ones that fit.  I have also been getting rid of the paperwork from our business, which I shut down shortly after he died.…"
Nov 9, 2017
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Hi!    That's the sort of thing we did. Signing car & truck in my name. plus all finances in my name. It kind of hurt to sign them though. Susan"
Nov 8, 2017
Athena53 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Ron and I were/are both avid travelers so yes, Ron knew it would be good for me.  I've done plenty of business travel on my own so I'm used to finding my way around places. I hadn't thought of it but I did a lot of the…"
Nov 7, 2017
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Athena,     I'm glad you enjoyed the cruise. Maybe Ron somehow knew you would need the trip.      Since Paul and I knew way ahead of time what was coming. We did have time for planning things. I felt like a robot going…"
Nov 7, 2017
Athena53 replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"I know what you mean, Susan.  I've been over and over it and I guess it's the way I'm wired and the discussions Ron and I had before he died as well as anticipatory grief.  I'd also been able to keep up outside…"
Nov 7, 2017
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Hi Athena!    I didn't have the paralyzing grief many speak of either. Could it be that we had what is called Anticipatory Grief?  When some say how deeply they are grieving, and I don't feel it THAT deep. It makes…"
Nov 7, 2017
Susan replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Hi Kenslove,    Many Identities! I think we all have them. I was first a daughter, Paul's Girlfriend, Then I became his wife. Now he's in Heaven and I'm here.  I KNOW that is called being a widow. But to me…"
Nov 7, 2017
WolfgalVal replied to kenslove 's discussion So many different identities....
"Thanks for sharing this, Athena53.  My soulmate was also 14 years my senior and we too lived very much "in the moment."  We all can gain much from integrating all those parts of our personalities and embracing the future best we…"
Nov 7, 2017

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At 4:28am on July 29, 2016, Laurel1950 said…

Thank you for your response.  I'm new at this website.  I am trying to get into going out with women that are widows too.  I need adult companionship.  I love my daughter and granddaughter very much, but I need some other interaction. 

At 4:53pm on June 14, 2016, Joyce said…

Welcome kenslove: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat.You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences.  Post and join in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It"

 
 
 

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