magonly1's Page

Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
Supa
site founder and admin

Hi and so very sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband of almost 42 years on March 27th and I well remember those first weeks and how incredibly difficult they were so I especially feel for you right now.  All I can say is that, for me, it definitely keeps getting a bit easier all the time.  I still have the usual ups and downs but it's definitely not as bad as it first was and that keeps me hopeful that I will continue to feel better and to make the adjustments to my new circumstances.   Like everyone says, just take it one day at a time, be very compassionate with yourself and try to stay positive that you WILL feel better in time.  I think that's the best we can do at this point.  Wishing you all the best.  L.

Hello I am sorry for your loss, my father died from a car accident in 1995.  My husband died suddenly from what they believe was a heart attack. I do know what a sudden loss is.  It is 40 days today.  It has gotten better since the first week or two.  My chest is not as heavy and there is some light.  I would like to send you hugs and hope you find some peace today. 

Hi Mary Ann thanks for your kind words, and yea i try to stay as positive as i can be considering. I do feel like an outcast most places people even avoid me at time cause they just don't know what to say to me... I get it about Eddie's package, i just handed 2 sealed packages to my Mom and asked that she send them back they were 4 months old so i get it. I go out and still run into people who had no idea.... It is a long journey, cry lots, seek therapy and keep coming here for comfort. This room and the people in it have definitely saved my life....Hope to chat with you online soon

Arnie

Hi magonly1,

       I am so sorry for your loss yet I am glad you found us. You will find some great help here on the site and the relationships you will build with all of the great people here. We are all on the other side of life now and only we can really understand how you feel. I am on chat quiet often and it is scary and overwhelming at times in the beginning. I would like to offer a bit of assistance when you are ready use the chat room.
1. I always advise you watch for a bit, the room gets busy sometimes and hard to follow at first.
2. You will see some joking and even laughter, you will also see tears and breakdowns. The people here are here to support and be supported by peers.
3. Looking at the chat you will see that the left window has a sliding bar that tells you who is online (they may be on another part of the site though)
4. If you click on a name in the side bar this should open up a private chat or PC as we call it.
5. I f you receive a PC a red # will show under the main lobby with the name and icon of the person it is from or if you sent it to someone
6. Your first entry:
This is hit or miss, it really depends on when you jump in if lots of folks are chatting you can easily get missed. I recommend just saying Hi I am new and give whatever info you want (hi I am Arnie From NJ and today I am 3 months and 3 days out) this way if others are from NJ they may want to know more.
7. BE READY:
Ok once you do go into the lobby be ready as the questions are needed and they are sometimes gentile, sometimes the questions fly at you. Please take your time here as if this is new for you this may open you up emotionally, and it is normal to feel this and from what i am told a needed part of trying to begin to live again.
8. Most people on the chat are women as of now but the men that are involved are very respectful and sometimes fun.
9. Remember almost no one knew each other until they came here.
10. Good luck and I sent you a friend request, lets face it near or far we need support, and with so many from around the world there is almost always someone on.
ALSO using internet explorer is problematic with chat so Firefox appears to be the best..

I hope this long winded letter helps you in the beginning and again SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.