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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  • Female
  • Salt Lake City, UT
  • United States
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Dazed's Friends

  • Cristina
  • doggymommy
  • Abby
  • Soaring Spirits

dazed's Page

Latest Activity

dazed commented on Soaring Spirits's group Born in the 50s
"irishlady:  People are clueless about how long grief takes.  13 months is still fresh and new.  It's when the fog ends and reality begins to set in.  No wonder you struggle.  Try not to care if people take it personal.…"
Jun 7, 2014
dazed replied to Jolie.P's discussion Offense...What are some marks people have made to you whereby you were offended...what was your response?
"I have been through the same things with my friends.  They are clueless.  It is utterly amazing that they just don't get it.  The first few times I sat there shell shocked and quiet.  They finally said they wanted the old me…"
Apr 22, 2014
dazed commented on Cristina's photo

Portrait of Billie by Raul Martinez

"Wow! That portrait really captures his spirit.  Beautiful!"
Apr 21, 2014
dazed commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly widowed
"I saw color at 27 months.  I was sledding with my grandkids and looked up at the clear blue sky and saw a flock of Canada geese fly over.  It was the first time I saw beauty and color in the world since my sweetheart passed away.  "
Mar 31, 2014
dazed replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Widow(er) brain: what's the dumbest thing you've ever done by accident?
"I had new deadbolt locks put on my doors and got new keys.  The first morning I went to work, I left the house without the new keys. Had to have a locksmith come and drill out my new locks and start over!  Then I wore two different shoes…"
Mar 10, 2014
dazed commented on Mariposa's blog post Sorry, But the Allowable Time Period for Mourning Has Expired....
"Year 1 is the amazing gift of brain fog.  Reality doesn't even start to hit until year 2.  Then you have to get through year 2!  It took me 27 months to decide I might want to keep living. I couldn't accept his death until…"
Feb 25, 2014
dazed replied to Next to B/8's discussion Dr. Condolences
"My husband had the same physician for 25 years.  He did not attend the funeral, or send a card, or give condolences when I went to see him.  My husband was on the hospital board, where is works as a doctor.  He also socialized with…"
Jan 11, 2014
dazed commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2009
"Yes, yes, yes!"
Dec 24, 2013
dazed commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2009
"I wonder if the holidays will ever not hurt.  I guess it doesn't because the love never goes away, why should the missing?"
Nov 27, 2013
dazed replied to NoLongerInBergenJC's discussion I would like to talk with others who are second guessing themselves and feeling guilty.
"When I asked my husband if he needed to go to the doctor he said, "Good G-d woman it's heartburn!"  It wasn't.  "
Nov 26, 2013
dazed replied to Marty's discussion Guilt
"Yes the guilt will go away and you will be so grateful that your husband loved you enough to make sure you were taken care of.  You will always wish you had him instead of the new car and bank account though.  "
Nov 11, 2013
dazed replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Tonight I went to dinner with two dear friends. We have been friends for 29 years.  They were complaining about their husbands.  One of them looked at me and said "Aren't you glad you don't have a husband."…"
Oct 29, 2013
dazed commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly widowed
"KayCeeMom.  You are so wise.  What you said fits exactly how things have been for me.  Things started turning around for me and being easier at about 27 months. I started seeing beauty in the world again and started feeling more…"
Oct 13, 2013
dazed commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly widowed
"Paige. I worked for attorneys for 35 years. I hate, hate, hate having to file lawsuits and having attorneys collect the 30%.  The legal system makes me sick.  But I also know how hard it is to get a settlement without an attorney.…"
Oct 3, 2013
dazed commented on william's blog post Moving On
"Best wishes William.  This will be hard but it will be worth it.  "
Sep 10, 2013
dazed commented on william's blog post Moving On
"Good for you Jerry!  It took me about 4 years to feel better too.  I don't think I'll ever be over my grief but it is so much easier now.  I wish you all the best!  "
Sep 10, 2013

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At 10:15pm on April 5, 2013, onmyown said…

So sorry for your pain, but I get it. All of my friends are married too. I am coming up on three years. Wishing us peace and much softer days. HUGS!!


At 9:06pm on March 15, 2013, Cristina said…

Hi, Dazed. Thanks, too, for befriending me....I will be a little absent for a while, as I am recuperating from a heart attack.  Broken heart.  You  know?  Even the doc admits it is that.  But I look forward to getting to know you.  We are all so well able to walk this journey hard as it is, thank goodness we can help each other along the way.  I wish you peace and solace. 


At 12:39pm on January 5, 2012, Abby said…

Hi Dazed:

Thanks for friending me and for your very kind and helpful comments regarding my last post.  I am trying so hard to keep going through this hell but after a year, I feel that I should be in a better place....clearly that was not in the plans for me. I am not sure how much more of this pain I can honestly withstand, all the while working with a big smile on my face and not really caring about anyone else. That is not the person I ever was, but it sadly the person I have become. I don't want to be this way but I am so filled with grief and sadness that there is no more room left in my heart for any more warmth.  How are you doing? Has anything in particular helped you?

Big Hugs


At 10:44am on October 31, 2011, CrazyWidow said…
Like you that 2nd year was BRUTAL after the fog left.  I hope you have FUN finding the new joys in life!
At 9:29am on June 15, 2011, Dianne in Nevada said…

Pleased you found us, Smarifuel. Take a look around, jump into the conversations and join some groups. There is wonderful support here.


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