"irishlady: People are clueless about how long grief takes. 13 months is still fresh and new. It's when the fog ends and reality begins to set in. No wonder you struggle. Try not to care if people take it personal.…"
"I have been through the same things with my friends. They are clueless. It is utterly amazing that they just don't get it. The first few times I sat there shell shocked and quiet. They finally said they wanted the old me…"
"I saw color at 27 months. I was sledding with my grandkids and looked up at the clear blue sky and saw a flock of Canada geese fly over. It was the first time I saw beauty and color in the world since my sweetheart passed away. "
"I had new deadbolt locks put on my doors and got new keys. The first morning I went to work, I left the house without the new keys. Had to have a locksmith come and drill out my new locks and start over! Then I wore two different shoes…"
"Year 1 is the amazing gift of brain fog. Reality doesn't even start to hit until year 2. Then you have to get through year 2! It took me 27 months to decide I might want to keep living. I couldn't accept his death until…"
"My husband had the same physician for 25 years. He did not attend the funeral, or send a card, or give condolences when I went to see him. My husband was on the hospital board, where is works as a doctor. He also socialized with…"
"Yes the guilt will go away and you will be so grateful that your husband loved you enough to make sure you were taken care of. You will always wish you had him instead of the new car and bank account though. "
"Tonight I went to dinner with two dear friends. We have been friends for 29 years. They were complaining about their husbands. One of them looked at me and said "Aren't you glad you don't have a husband."…"
"KayCeeMom. You are so wise. What you said fits exactly how things have been for me. Things started turning around for me and being easier at about 27 months. I started seeing beauty in the world again and started feeling more…"
"Paige. I worked for attorneys for 35 years. I hate, hate, hate having to file lawsuits and having attorneys collect the 30%. The legal system makes me sick. But I also know how hard it is to get a settlement without an attorney.…"
Hi, Dazed. Thanks, too, for befriending me....I will be a little absent for a while, as I am recuperating from a heart attack. Broken heart. You know? Even the doc admits it is that. But I look forward to getting to know you. We are all so well able to walk this journey together....as hard as it is, thank goodness we can help each other along the way. I wish you peace and solace.
Thanks for friending me and for your very kind and helpful comments regarding my last post. I am trying so hard to keep going through this hell but after a year, I feel that I should be in a better place....clearly that was not in the plans for me. I am not sure how much more of this pain I can honestly withstand, all the while working with a big smile on my face and not really caring about anyone else. That is not the person I ever was, but it sadly the person I have become. I don't want to be this way but I am so filled with grief and sadness that there is no more room left in my heart for any more warmth. How are you doing? Has anything in particular helped you?