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It's a totally crazy web of emotions weaved around the heart and soul especially when approaching the one year date. You think that you should be proud of yourself for getting through all of the firsts, and that you're…"
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momtofourkids (Jane)
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- Brackendale, BC
- Canada
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Camp Widow WEST 2013
June 28, 2013 at 8am to June 30, 2013 at 12pm – San Diego Marriott Marquis & Marina
48 Comments 5 Likes
momtofourkids (Jane)'s Page
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missincin (Dan) commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post I'm Not Suicidal....
"Jane: I wasnt judging you. I was worried about you. If you know a cutter then you know what I mean. Its the begging of a slippery slop and doesnt end well from what I've witnessed. You always seem to have the bright outlook, moving forward in a…"
momtofourkids (Jane) commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post I'm Not Suicidal....
"Thank you, everyone, for your responses.
@Dan - I don't. I won't. I just have this almost overwhelming urge TO cut. But I'm very cognizant of the fact that it is not a good coping method. This is the place I…"
MissingRKK commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post I'm Not Suicidal....
"Jane, I am holding you up in my heart. "
missincin (Dan) commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post I'm Not Suicidal....
"Wow. And if that doesnt work? Try it again? and if that doesnt work? I know I dont have the answers that you need. None of us do, if we did we'd be millionares or maybe sainthood. Jane does cutting stop the hurt? No, it may cause more than you…"
robinslove commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post I'm Not Suicidal....
"Jane,
Jane, please don't go that route. I totally understand the impulse (it has crossed my mind as well), but it is not helpful. Believe me when I say that. All of us here at WV understand that searing, burning, soul-ripping pain. If you…"
Dianne in Nevada commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post I'm Not Suicidal....
"I feel your words, Jane, and I hurt for you. I hurt for all of us. The first anniversary is hard. No way around it. I like how oceangirl describes it: "Grief has become an uneasy companion." I'm approaching 3 years this Fall and…"
liz143 commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post I'm Not Suicidal....
"((Jane)) i hear you ... the pain is sooo bad sometimes ... it brings me to my knees when i least expect it .. takes my breath away. When i tell a non-widowed person, they don't get it. I do. We do. Wish i didn't, but i absolutely do. It…"
oceangirl commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post I'm Not Suicidal....
"Jane - your words are powerful, and so very true. I feel every one of them. I will tell you (from 5 years out) that things change. I still have times that bring me to my knees. It's just that...I don't know, grief has become an uneasy…"
momtofourkids (Jane) commented on MyNewLife's blog post Seven Months of Chaos and Anything But Peaceful Sleep
"I'm moving in 11 weeks. 8 years of accumulated *stuff* and having to face everything - it's killing me. I'll get through it eventually - but right now, I'm dying inside, especially given that its 2 weeks away from 1…"
Maria Louisa commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post 10 Months Today
"Bless your heart... It is 10 months for me today...Love Forever... How old are your children? My youngest is age 20, but it seems yours are younger. My heart goes out to you in your journey."
momtofourkids (Jane) commented on Dianne in Nevada's event Camp Widow WEST 2013
"When do you put out the list of people who are looking for roommates?"
Paul R commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post 10 Months Today
"April 27 was a year. I wouldn't say it is surreal, but some times it feels so unreal. As I eat dinner alone and look at a picture of Laura that was taken less than a month before her accident, sometimes I think that she is off…"
kshy commented on momtofourkids (Jane)'s blog post 10 Months Today
"Yup...on the 28th it will be 11 months for me. Can't believe it either. Some days I think I am still in denial. Sending hugs to you and your family."
momtofourkids (Jane) commented on Dianne in Nevada's event Camp Widow WEST 2013
"*bounce bounce bounce* only 2 more months!!! I can't wait!!!"
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I'm Not Suicidal....
Posted on June 11, 2013 at 1:15pm 9 Comments 0 Likes
I don’t want to die.
I want very much to live.
You need to understand this, in order to read this post.
I WANT TO LIVE.
I want a HAPPY, FULL life.
So… now that you understand that… lets talk about what’s going on.
I want to hurt myself.
I think about taking a blade and cutting across the skin, drawing blood, and creating an intense pain.
I think about this frequently.
Usually while I’m fighting tears.
Why? you ask. Never…
Continue 10 Months Today
Posted on April 26, 2013 at 12:43pm 4 Comments 0 Likes
10 months today.
It seems so long yet so short... how could our lives have changed so drastically in less than a year??? Forever loved, forever missed, never forgotten. We miss you more and more each day Mark. Your kids are all so amazing. They were blessed to have been raised by you. Not a day goes by that we don't think about you, miss you,…
Continue Words of Grief
Posted on March 28, 2013 at 7:40pm 1 Comment 3 Likes
People tell me I'm a good writer.
People tell me I'm a compelling writer.
People tell me that I write in such a way that my words affect them.
So why can't I express fully, in a way that makes me feel that *I* understand, how much I hurt and how incredibly devastating it is to be a widow?
I look through thesaurus entries:
Devastated: anguised, cheerless, dejcected, depressed, despairing, distressed, down, heartbroken, heartsick,…
Continue Survived my first Valentine's
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:29am 2 Comments 3 Likes
Without Mark.
Had some moments. Had some tears. Had some sad points.
But I received some beautiful flowers, and got to spend an evening with a friend.
Overall - aside from missing Mark enormously, it was a good day.
I'd have rather had him though. :(
Comment Wall (5 comments)
- At 5:56pm on April 2, 2013,
LostCactus (WoodyC) said… HI momtofourkids, nice to meet you in chat for the first time, sorry for your loss. Hope finding WV will bring peace and comfort as you meet folks who know the journey you are on. If you need to talk then let it all out, it's the best way I know to keep from staying on the emotional roller coaster. Keep Smiling...
- At 11:43am on September 18, 2012,
LaurieR said… Hello momtofourkids. I am so sorry for your loss. I never really know what to say but welcome to this site. It is so very hard for people who have not lost their significant other to understand what your going through. People here all have lost their love and understand. I am from Saskatchewan. I lost my husband Easter Sunday 2012. The people on this site made my life bearable in those early days. I just want to say that it does get better, slowly, very,very slowly but there is hope. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. I will do my best to help you. I will send you a friend request, if you wish you can accept.
- At 10:48pm on September 11, 2012,
Joyce said… Welcome momtofourkids: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join us in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It".
- At 12:05pm on September 10, 2012,
kimkirt (KK) said… momtofourkids - I am so sorry for you loss and the reason that brings you here. I hope that you are able to find support and hope among so many people who truly understand. This site has been lifesaving for me to be able to talk to people who get it. Hugs!
- At 3:26pm on September 7, 2012,
Dianne in Nevada said… 
I'm so very sorry for your loss, momtofourkids, but glad you found us. There is caring support and friendship here. Here's a good place to start: Basic Site InfoJoin the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. Those 'chirps' you hear when you're in Widowed Village mean people are talking in the Chat Room; stop in some time and join the conversations. I look forward to getting to know you here.
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
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