I understand it when you say it has been the most difficult time in your life, because it has been for me also. The emotional pain at time makes you feel like you can't even breathe. Well I will tell you that it has been a little over six months for me now and it the pain has gotten some better. I still miss my husband and I know you never really get over that. But I have less breakdowns and have some I guess what you would call good days. So, hang in there. I know I can't say or do anything that will lessen your pain, only time will do that. I know it felt like time stood still for a good while and I wanted to rush it up so that I would start to feel better. But you have to give yourself time to grieve and it has it's own time table. But there is light around the corner. Be good to yourself and don't listen to anyone that tells you that you need to move on because he/she just doesn't get it unless they have lost a spouse.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you found this site. I lost my husband this past February. Everyone on here has been so supportive. It is nice to chat with other widowed people that understand what you are going through.
Welcome to Widville, navyvet. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.
Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here! You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.