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ron323
  • Male
  • Santee, CA
  • United States
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Melissa replied to ron323's discussion Anyone in San Diego ? in the group Born in the 50s
"Hi Ron, I'm in Riverside, about an hour and a half from San Diego. You can email me at [email protected] if you want to talk. Melissa"
Aug 17
Melissa replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"I suffer from terrible anxiety as well, Ron. My husband died last November and I haven't felt safe for a single minute since. I'm on anti-anxiety medication, but it doesn't really help much. I would really like to be able to exhale…"
Aug 17
irishlady (jan) replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"Ron..Have you tried a grief group in your area? I found one very helpful after I lost my husband of 43 years. I found two widows in the group that I am still friends with. they understand. Until you have been through this the person will never truly…"
Aug 17
swisnorg left a comment for ron323
"Hey Ron: After five years I can say I am better.  I'm not sure the loss will every go away completely.  My first year was the worst and the second not much better but better.  A lot of people told me to get a dog.  I ended…"
Aug 17
NoLongerInBergenJC replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"Ron, nothing you are describing is abnormal.  We have all been through it to one degree or another.   Nutrition is important.  Please try to make sure you are still eating.  If you do not cook, then focus on things that…"
Aug 17
Barzan replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"Ron, I'm hoping that your life improves as the days go on.  I used to take long walks at different parks for therapy.  This really helped me with my mental and emotional wellbeing in my 1st year alone.  Try scheduling a daily 1…"
Aug 17
Rainy (Misty) left a comment for ron323
"I read your post in the 50's group.  I am finding it harder as time goes by too.  I think I remarked someplace that I wish someone would have warned me it gets worse before it gets better. I'm right at eight months out and…"
Aug 17
Athena53 replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"Ron- I'm really sorry you're going through this.  I woke up at 3 AM and couldn't get back to sleep but that's so rare I take it in stride.  I'm retired so if I need a nap I can take one later. You said medications…"
Aug 17
ron323 replied to ron323's discussion Anyone in San Diego ? in the group Born in the 50s
"Hi Gale,  How are you doing after 5 years?  I have become a totally dysfunctional man and see no road to recovery.  7 months with basically no sleep destroys a great deal of your body.  I don't do facebook or twitter either…"
Aug 16
ron323 replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"I have become totally dysfunctional.  I only sleep about 1 to 2 hours each day and am a total wreck.  I have lost my desire to do anything because i am always so depressed and exhausted.  I do have family and friends that i try to…"
Aug 16
NoLongerInBergenJC replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"Ron...can you perhaps share more about what you are feeling?  I know it's hard because the feelings are so overwhelming...they are almost just too big to wrap our minds around them.  Are you able to sleep?  Nightmares? …"
Aug 16
Exciting Lynda replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"As we age, it gets more common to have trouble sleeping.  I've found magnesium is really good to take just before going to bed. There is a product called Calm and you just add a teaspoon to a cup of warm water and drink it.  its…"
Aug 16
Barzan replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"Ron, you are describing all of us.  You don’t say how long ago your beloved wife passed but I can assure you that for the 1st year, I didn’t know what was up and what was down.  I remember having to remind myself to breathe.…"
Aug 16
swisnorg replied to ron323's discussion Anyone in San Diego ? in the group Born in the 50s
"Ron, I'm sorry for your loss.  It will be five years tomorrow for me after 36 years.   I am in San Diego.  I don't Facebook or tweet, but my email is [email protected] My name is Gale.  I was given a pen pal when I…"
Aug 16
ron323 added 2 discussions to the group Born in the 50s
Aug 16
ron323 replied to ron323's discussion Anxiety in the group Born in the 50s
"I lost my wife 7 months ago and my situation is getting worse by the day."
Aug 16

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I am going through some very serious depression regarding the sudden loss of my wife. We were married for 44 years and I am extremely lonely and could really use friends who can relate to my situation.

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At 6:55am on August 17, 2018, swisnorg said…

Hey Ron: After five years I can say I am better.  I'm not sure the loss will every go away completely.  My first year was the worst and the second not much better but better.  A lot of people told me to get a dog.  I ended up getting and then giving away three.  I made some decisions in my first year that I probably shouldn't have.  I don't have a lot of friends.  My husband was the social butterfly that kept us busy.  I had a roommate for awhile and she kept me busy going to bars and talking to people.  She has moved away and I can't bring myself to go alone to any of those places. I like to play scrabble and cribbage.  There is an online game called Lexulous which is scrabble like.  There is a chat feature too.  My pen pal and I play.  If you are interested, I could send you an invite.  Friends find it hard to fill the gap of a spouse.  They visit for an hour or two and then leave.  It's almost harder after they leave than before because it's like the void is even bigger.

I don't mean to be so morose but I'm being truthful. Is there anything you liked to do alone before your wife died?  Any hobby? I crocheted everyone I know a hat or shawl.  Kinda of silly in So Cal.  

At 2:45am on August 17, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

I read your post in the 50's group.  I am finding it harder as time goes by too.  I think I remarked someplace that I wish someone would have warned me it gets worse before it gets better. 

I'm right at eight months out and have decided to see a therapist for the anxiety.  anyway, not much to offer as advice, I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.  Re: anxiety she told me to remember anxiety is a lie.and it tricks your brain. It's hard work to get through all of the emotions loss leaves us with.  (hugs)

At 10:25am on August 9, 2018, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, ron323. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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