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bt660
  • Male
  • Schenectady, NY
  • United States
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Bt660's Friends

  • Fluffycat52
  • mls64 (Mike)
  • Dianne in Nevada

bt660's Discussions

I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!

Started this discussion. Last reply by laurajay Sep 25, 2018. 14 Replies

So I am here hoping to get input from others who may have been in this place.I lost my wife of 24 years in 2014 and have dated quite a bit since then.  No one has been able to make the spark that she…Continue

 

bt660's Page

Latest Activity

bt660 replied to Mary H's discussion Dating Again for those Born in the 60s in the group Born in the 60s
"My story... I hope it can help guide you I want to share my story, as a piece of advice for those of us who are in this awkward stage of life.  We aren't really in the bar scene anymore, and we aren't in the senior circuit…"
Jan 7
SweetMelissa2007 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"Off Topic - The change in widow's benefits was never based on a moral issue of the retired living together. Social Security widow's benefits were changed as part of a socioeconomic restructure. Socioeconomics involves issues of racism,…"
Sep 25, 2018
Athena53 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"A bit OT, but I used to work as an actuary and was working on a project pricing Black Lung coverage for coal miners, which had similar Widow benefits- they disappeared if she (never saw a claim for a female miner/male spouse) remarried.  The…"
Sep 21, 2018
Frank replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"Susan and I had a friend who lived just a "short hike down the road" from us and she lost her husband 2-3 years before Susan passed.  She got hooked up with a guy in KS and they became quite serious.   They discussed…"
Sep 21, 2018
SweetMelissa2007 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"It appears your deceased wife did not earn more than you. In any case, if your friend is receiving survivor's benefits, she might be like myself in not wanting to give it up. "
Sep 20, 2018
bt660 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"My child turns 18 next year, I have never received any benefits although he has."
Sep 20, 2018
SweetMelissa2007 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"Sorry, I used an incorrect term, I meant "survivor's benefits" ... A parent qualifies for survivor's benefits w/children under the age of 18 as do the kids. Their money reverts to them name at age 16. This benefit for the parent…"
Sep 20, 2018
Athena53 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"Melissa- you don't lose Widow's Benefits if you remarry after age 60.  (I believe they changed that because many older couples were just living together!).  Also, a widow/widower who was the primary wage earner is just collecting…"
Sep 19, 2018
SweetMelissa2007 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"You have relieved her of pressure by continuing this relationship on her terms instead of trying to change it into a serious commitment. What she did learn is you care enough about her to keep visiting as well as not date other women. This new way…"
Sep 19, 2018
Athena53 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"I think you're right, bt660.  Right now I'm in the airport, headed to Scotland later today, and the guy from Match is off on a long motorcycle trip.  The way I thought about it, I needed some breathing space to figure out what I…"
Sep 18, 2018
bt660 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"This is typical male behavior as I went through this same exact scenario early on.  I did date early on.  But then I took a break as I had to resolve my feelings.  You didn't indicate whether you connected with this guy, but he…"
Sep 18, 2018
Athena53 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"Has she considered counseling?  This is a legitimate issue- she's torn between her feelings for you and her feelings about being with someone other than her late husband.  As with everything in the grieving process, we're all…"
Sep 17, 2018
bt660 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"This is a great reply.  You and I are thinking alike.  I appreciate the input. The marriage discussion has been only a couple of times and in each case was started by a question each of us had.  But in both cases we made sure it…"
Sep 17, 2018
Callie2 replied to bt660's discussion I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!
"I’m not dating or having the desire to date at this point (want to be upfront here) but from what you’ve written, I can offer an opinion. Might not be worth much but maybe food for thought anyway. It’s been only four years for both…"
Sep 17, 2018
bt660 updated their profile
Sep 16, 2018
bt660 posted a discussion

I need some advice. I am a widower, who fell in love with a widow. Now, we are still in love but not dating... OMG this is so confusing!

So I am here hoping to get input from others who may have been in this place.I lost my wife of 24 years in 2014 and have dated quite a bit since then.  No one has been able to make the spark that she gave me since I lost her.  I was starting to think I had issues.  However, right before giving up, I met a wonderful lady that I know she would approve of.  She is smart, caring, beautiful, and best of all, the day we met we just connected.  She lost her husband of about 19 years, just 2 months…See More
Sep 16, 2018

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At 7:37pm on October 19, 2017, Fluffycat52 said…

Hi rt66062, I read your story it was so sad, I know it is hard to love someone like me and my husband were married for 21 years and now he is gone he has been part of my life 21 years that is hard him not be part of it now but now I am single and I still cry for him to come back but he is gone and I need to live my life now I know we will see all our loved ones one day but it is really hard not seeing them now. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I enjoyed reading your story. Have a nice weekend and week. Your Friend, Lisa

At 8:34pm on September 23, 2017, Fluffycat52 said…

So sorry for your loss, my husband passed away on June 12th 2016, he had Congestive Heart Failure, he suffered a year and a half he is not suffering anymore he is a free Spirit now my name is Lisa hope you have a nice rest of your weekend and week, this is a very nice site to be on where people know what we are going through. Your Friend, Lisa

At 9:12pm on September 22, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, rt66062.  I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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