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  • Wellington, KS
  • United States
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shellybean's Discussions

Guilty about therapy

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Sep 25, 2018. 17 Replies

This is possibly going to be very scattered, so I apologize in advance. But it's also raw.I know this is totally irrational, but I feel guilty about seeking therapy. The self-hater in me, maybe? I…Continue

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My entire universe was completely rearranged when my husband, Marcus, was killed in a work accident on January 2, 2018.

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Shellybean's Blog


Posted on September 8, 2018 at 12:37pm 11 Comments

Today is my first wedding anniversary. Not just since my Marcus died in January... My first one EVER. He was killed one week shy of our four month wedding anniversary. I'm sad. Duh. But I can feel this molten lava-like anger building inside of me as the day continues. Anger isn't right... Fury is more like it. I want to scream. I want to go to the grain elevator and do damage. I want to kick someone. I'm just livid. I'm so broken today. Despite the efforts of my wonderful family to brighten…



Posted on August 27, 2018 at 5:21pm 3 Comments

A couple months ago, I dropped my phone. The screen protector broke. It did exactly what it was designed to do. (Yay!) Then a couple days later, I dropped it again. (I'm hard on phones y'all.) Unfortunately, it landed on something right between the case and the screen protector, and shattered the screen.

No big deal, I thought to myself, I've destroyed my fair share of Straight Talk phones in the past. I'll just run to Wal-Mart and grab another one, just like I've always…


Hello Darkness, My Old Friend…

Posted on July 26, 2018 at 11:00am 1 Comment

All it took was one manila envelope.

It was Saturday evening, and the girls and I were trying to have a relaxing evening after a long day spent at the zoo. Everyone was tired, but refusing to rest. So tempers were a little short and moods were a bit sour. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. At one point, I realized I hadn’t checked the mail, so I went outside and did so.…


The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:

Posted on July 19, 2018 at 11:30am 8 Comments

(Today’s blog post title is thanks to a comment made by MartyG that I saw on WidVille one day while reading old blog posts.)

I’m acknowledging a hard time with my grief work right now. I don’t feel like I’m thriving, not even really living...just surviving. I judge my every move (or lack of movement…) right now. I know I’m my harshest critic. I am so incredibly inpatient and unforgiving of myself. I know I’m…


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At 11:08am on May 10, 2018, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, shellybean. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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