Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

shellybean
  • Female
  • Wellington, KS
  • United States
Share on Facebook Share

Shellybean's Friends

  • Eye of the Tiger
  • Whitedoves9698
  • MomOfBoys (Tammi)
  • Allan_sch
  • Luv4Z
  • Raebee
  • bayoured
  • MartyG (ver. 2.0)
  • Rainy (Misty)
  • BabushkaD (Debbie)
  • SweetMelissa2007
  • Don
  • eliana
  • lyn
  • Morgana (Janet)

shellybean's Discussions

Guilty about therapy

Started this discussion. Last reply by shellybean Jun 14. 9 Replies

This is possibly going to be very scattered, so I apologize in advance. But it's also raw.I know this is totally irrational, but I feel guilty about seeking therapy. The self-hater in me, maybe? I…Continue

 

shellybean's Page

Latest Activity

Rainy (Misty) commented on shellybean's blog post A Constant Battle
"I keep reminding myself that God's got me too.  It's so hard to keep on track.  "
Aug 9
riet commented on shellybean's blog post Hello Darkness, My Old Friend…
"Despite all help from family and friends I often ask myself if life is still worth living for me. Yesterday we celebrated my son's birthday. All my children and grandchildren together. It was wonderful and good.  But my husband is no…"
Jul 30
shellybean commented on Luv4Z's blog post Basketcase in a nanosecond
"Sweet Luv4Z, it is still so fresh and hard for you. (((HUGS))) to you. I'm not far enough out to give you much "been there done that" experience, but I'm here to help you through on this grief journey. I've been struggling…"
Jul 30
shellybean commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"Thank you so much, Callie2. I live by the mantra "You've survived all the hard days so far and you will this one,too.""
Jul 26
shellybean posted a blog post

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend…

All it took was one manila envelope.It was Saturday evening, and the girls and I were trying to have a relaxing evening after a long day spent at the zoo. Everyone was tired, but refusing to rest. So tempers were a little short and moods were a bit sour. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. At one point, I realized I hadn’t checked the mail, so I went outside and did so.And there it was.The OSHA investigation is complete. Sitting in my mailbox was my copy of the report, nice and neatly tucked…See More
Jul 26
shellybean commented on Rkay's blog post Status Change.
"Congratulations on your granddaughter. ((((hugs)))) to you experiencing this first without Howard. "
Jul 26
Callie2 commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"Shellybean, yes, you are being too hard on yourself. Progress can be slow but you know we get there one day at a time. It’s OK to allow yourself to feel bad and grieve. I’m not saying it’s a good thing but a lot of us have survived…"
Jul 25
shellybean commented on Soaring Spirits's group Suddenly Widowed
"I got the OSHA investigation report for Marcus's accident in the mail on Saturday. It has given me a little bit of peace because now I know exactly what happened, but SO much anger because this could have and should have been prevented. I can…"
Jul 23
shellybean commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"Thanks for the comments, SweetMelissa2007! I really like that quote!  Misty - I really liked that meme the minute I saw it. I like that thought... it doesn't all have to be successful, as long as I keep trying."
Jul 20
Rainy (Misty) commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"Shelly I love that meme!  Keep doing something until you find what works for you Shelly."
Jul 20
SweetMelissa2007 commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"I could not fully live till I learned how & why in my heart & soul - it took years of fighting off denial/fairytales as well as absolute honesty & commitment in coming to terms w/that chapter of my life ... I could not tame grief, I…"
Jul 20
SweetMelissa2007 commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"Jagged edges from my heart & soul ripped from my body ...Sorrow bowed my head & stooped the shoulders to stare only my larger then life feet that represented the shattering of my life from the bottom ...Head reduced in size to 24/7…"
Jul 20
shellybean commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"Oh (((Diva))) I totally understand. I'm so sorry your friends and family are growing weary. I read a really good post from One Fit Widow on Facebook today:"The next time someone tells you they are tired of our grief or hearing about your…"
Jul 19
DIVA70 commented on shellybean's blog post The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:
"I do understand. I have absolutely no motivation. I cook breakfast but that's about it. I need to clean my house but what's the point. I lost my zest for life on April 29th , the day my soulmate left me forever. I have taken a few short…"
Jul 19
shellybean posted a blog post

The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:

(Today’s blog post title is thanks to a comment made by MartyG that I saw on WidVille one day while reading old blog posts.)I’m acknowledging a hard time with my grief work right now. I don’t feel like I’m thriving, not even really living...just surviving. I judge my every move (or lack of movement…) right now. I know I’m my harshest critic. I am so incredibly inpatient and unforgiving of myself. I know I’m comparing Widow Shelly to Shelly Who Once Was and Shelly Who Can Be. I think it’s a…See More
Jul 19
shellybean commented on Athena53's blog post "A sculpture that Creates Intense Emotion"
"I shared this picture as it was making the rounds on Facebook last week. Here's what I wrote about it: This is truly about what it feels like the damage from a broken heart would look like... A combination of a violent explosion and a black…"
Jul 16

Profile Information

Would you like to add a statement about you to your profile page? For example, the URL of a blog? This answer will be VISIBLE on your profile page.
My entire universe was completely rearranged when my husband, Marcus, was killed in a work accident on January 2, 2018.
https://weavethsteadily503681085.wordpress.com/

shellybean's Photos

  • Add Photos
  • View All

Shellybean's Blog

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend…

Posted on July 26, 2018 at 11:00am 1 Comment

All it took was one manila envelope.

It was Saturday evening, and the girls and I were trying to have a relaxing evening after a long day spent at the zoo. Everyone was tired, but refusing to rest. So tempers were a little short and moods were a bit sour. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. At one point, I realized I hadn’t checked the mail, so I went outside and did so.…

Continue

The Gift is Life, The responsibility is Living:

Posted on July 19, 2018 at 11:30am 8 Comments

(Today’s blog post title is thanks to a comment made by MartyG that I saw on WidVille one day while reading old blog posts.)

I’m acknowledging a hard time with my grief work right now. I don’t feel like I’m thriving, not even really living...just surviving. I judge my every move (or lack of movement…) right now. I know I’m my harshest critic. I am so incredibly inpatient and unforgiving of myself. I know I’m…

Continue

Contagion

Posted on July 10, 2018 at 6:47pm 1 Comment

Six months into this grief journey. One week shy of six months into this new job. And I finally had my first unscheduled time off due to my grief today. Honestly, I’m pretty proud of that. Yes, I’ve taken a planned mental health day here or there.

Sleeping poorly the past couple weeks has finally caught up to me. My energy tank was depleted to Empty. First, both girls were in bed with me all night. One of the girls…

Continue

It's Not Heavier Than Yours

Posted on July 8, 2018 at 6:37pm 2 Comments

(Marcus and I were only married one week shy of four months when he was killed in a work accident. We’re only 32. We’d only been together for a little over 2 years. We spent 15 years apart before reconnecting (high school sweethearts). I’ll write a more in-depth post at some point about my story, but that’s the Cliff Notes version for reference on this post.)

So many people try to compare their hurts and trials to…

Continue

Comment Wall (1 comment)

You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

At 11:08am on May 10, 2018, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, shellybean. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service