"My heart goes out to you, GrievingandLost37. It is so hard having to deal with others being uncomfortable with our reality on top of all we are dealing with as widows/widowers. My husband died suddenly of cardiac arrest almost five years ago,…"
"There is some comfort in knowing I am not alone in still struggling after nearly 5 years. The holiday season seems especially hard for those of us whose anniversaries are at this time of year. We celebrated 40 years of marriage last Sunday. I never…"
My heart goes out to you. My story is very, very similar to yours except it happened in March of 2014. You are indeed in a state of shock. If you are anything like me, you will only realize how much shock you are in many months from…"
"Tess had so many pearls of wisdom that I can’t add much; I just want to let you know you are not alone. Only those of us whose spouses have died suddenly—my dear Gary died in 2014 at age 65 of sudden cardiac arrest—can fully…"
"“Just Me,” it’s hard, isn’t it? I wonder if the woman who has been a widow for seven years is more honest than most or is having a harder time than most. Maybe a little of both?
I am at a little over four years. A married…"
"Sending you a big, virtual hug, RIKP. Having to deal with everything on your own without the comfort and support of a beloved spouse is something that my widowed friends and I speak of frequently. In a way, it seems to get cumulative as the years go…"
"Just Me and Gwamma, your posts have been really helpful to me. The controlling behavior and angry outbursts on the part of close family members seem to be common themes in our “stories.” With death being the ultimate loss of control, I…"
"Just Me, my heart goes out to you after reading your post. While we didn’t have children so I can’t comment from that perspective, I have had a similar situation with my sister with whom I have always been close. Within weeks after my…"
I am so sorry for your loss and for everyone else that is in this page.
Take it easy, be kind to you. I do not think that there are experts in this situation, but after living more time than you without my partner , I can share some thoughts.
I missed him SO much. I wanted to die. Not even having children to live for, made life tolerable. I thought no one could suffer more that me, and that nobody could understand my loss. I cried and cried, and I worked like a maniac, I changed my house, switched offices, loaded myself with thing to do, travelled,etc. I read all the books, and when 3 yrs passed, I found this site. I can say widows and widowers have their personal timing for grief, I was always slow in love affairs...to get in and to get out. Very slowly I started to find that I enjoyed watching spring, and that small things gave me peace. Then my crying became less frequent, and now I find myself enjoying my solitude without missing him. I can live without my man. I would give everything for a minute back with him, to look into his eyes. Now I know he will never come back. I think I am still in love with him. It must be that men sense this. But I was so touched with the comment of RebeccaB. She made me realize I crave for a touch, a hug, a nice smile. WV helps a lot. Very recently I decided to ask for help, for my "new" life. It is good and makes me think and decide what I want to do with the rest of my time. Hope you can find peace. From Uruguay, I understand you.
Welcome silverlady: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It"