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  • Round Rock, TX
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Smp1122's Blog

Forever an Add-On

Posted on December 25, 2014 at 7:58pm 4 Comments

I thought, staring at that blue coffin that day, was the saddest day of my life....and maybe it was...of my other life...but today, this Christmas morning was the saddest day of my new life.  As I sat there surrounded by my Mom and step-dad and my sister and her family....I realized....I am an add-on, an addition to, a tag-a-long. My little family, mine, my own....the family I had given life to, given my heart and soul lifeslong gone.  My husband is in heaven, my son…


My Birthday Wish Forever

Posted on November 24, 2014 at 6:50am 0 Comments

I turned 43.  It was the second birthday without you.  It was as hard as the first.  We had a party. We went dancing.

It was was really nice but it still stung.  It still hurt.  They played a few of your songs and I had to walk out. I didn't want to bring the crowd down.  Every time for the rest of my life, when I blow out my birthday candles and make a birthday will always be that I wish you were here.  You were such a pain in the ass but you made me feel so…


Are You ok?

Posted on November 6, 2014 at 11:57am 4 Comments

My new boyfriend has begun to sleep over some nights.  He says to me...every time I move you jump and ask "am I ok?". He says I am not even awake but I ask it every single time.

I have tried to explain that I was a caretaker for many years.  Gary was sick alot at night, had alot of accidents.  He tried to clean them up himself out of pride and embarrassment but as a caretaker you can sense something is wrong.  How many nights did I wake up to him sobbing, embarrassed and helpless.  I…


The Day the Sun Stopped Shining.....

Posted on October 22, 2014 at 11:30pm 2 Comments

At 3.41am today, a year ago. the sun stopped shining.

Gary had been in the hospital since Sunday and it's Wednesday.  He had surgery Monday morning and had been fighting all sorts of symptoms.  I keep saying it but I honestly, honestly never thought he wouldn't make it.  Gary had survived two cancers (totally unrelated).  He got non-Hodgkins lymphoma of the thymus in…


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At 9:28pm on June 29, 2014, my roses said…

My roses left a message for you in answer to your  comment on June 2oth about ridiculous anxiety.  Was posted on widowed in 2013

with love

At 12:50pm on June 16, 2014, wannabmartha said…

So sorry for the reason you’re here but glad that you’ve joined us. You’ll find insight, understanding and support here at Widowed Village. We’re traveling the same journey together some further down the road than others. Join a group when you’re ready to get better connected. Participate in a forum and/or chat anytime. If you have questions, feel free to ask. There is always someone around willing to help. Following is a link that you might find helpful as a new member.


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