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soulmate
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soulmate's Discussions

Catastrophizing and anxiety

Started this discussion. Last reply by Athena53 Jan 9. 3 Replies

This is the only place I feel safe sharing topics like this, with others, who are more likely to understand-I am a bit of an "Over thinker" meaning I ruminate-I have always been that way to a point.…Continue

Unexpected "Grief Triggers"

Started this discussion. Last reply by HillbillyWitchDr yesterday. 14 Replies

I think all of you have encountered something similar to an event I experienced last night.It's been almost 13 months since my wife died. Last night I was at a convenience/drug store. When making my…Continue

If you had one hour to talk with your spouse what would you tell them?

Started this discussion. Last reply by PJC Sep 4, 2017. 2 Replies

If I had one hour to talk to my wife I would tell her how much I love her! How she changed my life for the better. I would tell her it was an honor to care for her, to be with her, and if I could…Continue

 

soulmate's Page

Latest Activity

HillbillyWitchDr replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"My triggers are musical usually....my husband was a musician, and there are just certain songs.  I listen to talk radio a lot in the car as I don't like to cry and drive.  "
yesterday
soulmate replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"I may have replied to this previously, I am not certain. My wife had a friend she'd known since Junior High and he never stopped having a crush on her. She had no interest in him in that regard and I always believed her and he never seemed…"
Sunday
southernsoul commented on soulmate's blog post It's Not All About Me
"Last year at Camp Widow, I was sitting out on the patio with another attendee, a young man I had met the previous year. We were chatting about how nervous we were coming to our first Camp & how different it is coming back in subsequent years…"
Jan 10
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Catastrophizing and anxiety
"Heck, yes. I lost my mother in October, 2016 and my husband in November.  Both had lived good, long lives and chose palliative care when diagnosed with cancer that was unlikely to benefit from aggressive treatment. A month later I had my…"
Jan 9
Callie2 replied to soulmate's discussion Catastrophizing and anxiety
"Soulmate, I truly believe that anxiety manifests itself in many ways. I don’t find that odd or crazy. This might go away or lessen with time but it wouldn’t hurt to try and distract yourself a little, as hard as that sounds. We all worry…"
Jan 9
without replied to soulmate's discussion Catastrophizing and anxiety
"Hi Soulmate, it is absolutely normal what you are feeling. I have the same issues, and know of many, many other widows that go through the same anxiety and irrational fears. I don't have any advice on how to cope with it though. Just part of…"
Jan 9
soulmate posted a discussion

Catastrophizing and anxiety

This is the only place I feel safe sharing topics like this, with others, who are more likely to understand-I am a bit of an "Over thinker" meaning I ruminate-I have always been that way to a point. But now it's more extreme - since my wife died I find myself thinking the worst. If I don't hear from my daughter, a close friend, or family member my head starts going in all kind of crazy scenarios. This usually occurs if I contact them and don't hear back within in a few hours. Once they contact…See More
Jan 8
soulmate commented on The Hungover Widow's blog post To help the widowed, let us talk about our marriages.
"I just read your piece. It's real and I love it!! (Beautiful picture too!) To be honest I would love a question like this "So David, tell me something different. What did you and your wife struggle with in your marriage? What tested both…"
Jan 8
soulmate commented on Peach's blog post Dealing with emptiness and idle time and low energy
"I wish I could make it go away. "It" meaning your loneliness.  I wish I could make the sun come out and it would be 70 degrees by 0800. I don't have that kind of power. I resist doing things alone as well. This was the second…"
Jan 8
lowrsr (Sherry) commented on soulmate's blog post It's Not All About Me
"Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes it's hard to remember that it's not all about me when I am in that dark hole of despair. I feel like I am walled off from the world. But in fact, we all suffer. It is a part of humanity. We each have…"
Dec 27, 2017
soulmate posted a blog post

It's Not All About Me

I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not a word…See More
Dec 27, 2017
vintage56(barb) replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I so miss having someone to do things for."
Dec 20, 2017
soulmate replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Thank you. She loved the beach. We are from Northern California and the coast line is quite beautiful. I have avoided going there, even though I would love to go, the memories would be too difficult, at least now."
Dec 20, 2017
soulmate replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Thank You!"
Dec 20, 2017
soulmate replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I am so sorry for what you are going through. I wish there was more than that one word. I wish I could ease your pain. I wish I could do that for everyone here."
Dec 20, 2017
soulmate replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"It never ceases to amaze me how a trigger can come out of nowhere and slam us. I remember walking through Costco a month after her death and coming across a baked chicken. I know it sounds a bit silly but she loved those! I almost cried seeing this…"
Dec 20, 2017

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Soulmate's Blog

It's Not All About Me

Posted on December 27, 2017 at 4:30pm 2 Comments

I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.

It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.

The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…

Continue

"Healing and surviving"

Posted on September 6, 2017 at 10:30am 2 Comments

November 22nd will be the 1 year anniversary of my wife’s death.

I don't know how I will feel that day, but I know I don't want to spend it alone.…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 8:34am on November 26, 2017, The Hungover Widow said…
Thank you for the thoughtful, supportive comments on my article. I was a hard one to write. I completely agree that it’s the closeness and odd little things that we miss. And yes, loneliness is the killer. I’ve had a hard time explaining that to people. I see that you just made it through the one-year anniversary of your wife’s death. I hope Thanksgiving wasn’t too painful.

Take care,
Debbie
At 2:36am on July 17, 2017, CLT1965 (Cindy) said…

Hi Soulmate, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 5 months ago and the pain that I have experienced is worse than I could imagine. It made me think that you really don't understand what it is like to lose a spouse until it happens to you. This site has been a blessing to me that it has enabled me to talk to other widowed people that truly understand what you are going through. I hope you too find the support you need here.

Take Care

Cindy

At 8:39pm on July 16, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, soulmate. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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