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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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soulmate
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soulmate's Discussions

Catastrophizing and anxiety

Started this discussion. Last reply by Athena53 Jan 9. 3 Replies

This is the only place I feel safe sharing topics like this, with others, who are more likely to understand-I am a bit of an "Over thinker" meaning I ruminate-I have always been that way to a point.…Continue

Unexpected "Grief Triggers"

Started this discussion. Last reply by Diamond Sky Feb 11. 21 Replies

I think all of you have encountered something similar to an event I experienced last night.It's been almost 13 months since my wife died. Last night I was at a convenience/drug store. When making my…Continue

If you had one hour to talk with your spouse what would you tell them?

Started this discussion. Last reply by PJC Sep 4, 2017. 2 Replies

If I had one hour to talk to my wife I would tell her how much I love her! How she changed my life for the better. I would tell her it was an honor to care for her, to be with her, and if I could…Continue

 

soulmate's Page

Latest Activity

Diamond Sky replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"My first time to the grocery store after my Love passed, I had a major panic attack...it was all too overwhelming: the lights, the people, the choices...i walked in there and was suddenly looking only for his face in the store and became angry that…"
Feb 11
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I wasn't hit quite that hard, but last December I checked into a edgy hotel (The Greenville, SC Aloft) and the two bed pillows had highly-pixellated faces, a male on one and a female on the other.  The world doesn't always come in…"
Feb 11
Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"The first time I ventured out to the grocery store after Paul passed away, I was hit with tears. Kroger had stands of decorator pillows saying stuff like " His & Hers"  I had to get out of there. Susan"
Feb 11
Jamie replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I see I'm not the only one who gets hit at the grocery store and that makes me feel a little less crazy.  I hate shopping and cooking for just me.  The last year of chemo and nausea had me always searching for new meals that might…"
Feb 11
Diamond Sky replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Music wrecks me so often...songs...my guy was an incredible musician. A drummer. He is the drummer in every song..."
Feb 10
Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Hi!,    Tonight I was sitting on the piano bench holding my 3 month old Grandson and played Heart n Soul for him. And I broke down crying. Heart n Soul is a little piece of music that Paul and I had played for 40 some years. Someone plays…"
Jan 21
Rainy (Misty) replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Hi, Jerry and I loved music and would often lay in bed and ask Alexa to play us different random songs.  He always played Freebird, and it was also used at his funeral as per his request.  I don't want to hear it now.  I am…"
Jan 17
HillbillyWitchDr replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"My triggers are musical usually....my husband was a musician, and there are just certain songs.  I listen to talk radio a lot in the car as I don't like to cry and drive.  "
Jan 15
soulmate replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"I may have replied to this previously, I am not certain. My wife had a friend she'd known since Junior High and he never stopped having a crush on her. She had no interest in him in that regard and I always believed her and he never seemed…"
Jan 13
southernsoul commented on soulmate's blog post It's Not All About Me
"Last year at Camp Widow, I was sitting out on the patio with another attendee, a young man I had met the previous year. We were chatting about how nervous we were coming to our first Camp & how different it is coming back in subsequent years…"
Jan 10
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Catastrophizing and anxiety
"Heck, yes. I lost my mother in October, 2016 and my husband in November.  Both had lived good, long lives and chose palliative care when diagnosed with cancer that was unlikely to benefit from aggressive treatment. A month later I had my…"
Jan 9
Callie2 replied to soulmate's discussion Catastrophizing and anxiety
"Soulmate, I truly believe that anxiety manifests itself in many ways. I don’t find that odd or crazy. This might go away or lessen with time but it wouldn’t hurt to try and distract yourself a little, as hard as that sounds. We all worry…"
Jan 9
without replied to soulmate's discussion Catastrophizing and anxiety
"Hi Soulmate, it is absolutely normal what you are feeling. I have the same issues, and know of many, many other widows that go through the same anxiety and irrational fears. I don't have any advice on how to cope with it though. Just part of…"
Jan 9
soulmate posted a discussion

Catastrophizing and anxiety

This is the only place I feel safe sharing topics like this, with others, who are more likely to understand-I am a bit of an "Over thinker" meaning I ruminate-I have always been that way to a point. But now it's more extreme - since my wife died I find myself thinking the worst. If I don't hear from my daughter, a close friend, or family member my head starts going in all kind of crazy scenarios. This usually occurs if I contact them and don't hear back within in a few hours. Once they contact…See More
Jan 8
soulmate commented on The Hungover Widow's blog post To help the widowed, let us talk about our marriages.
"I just read your piece. It's real and I love it!! (Beautiful picture too!) To be honest I would love a question like this "So David, tell me something different. What did you and your wife struggle with in your marriage? What tested both…"
Jan 8
soulmate commented on Peach's blog post Dealing with emptiness and idle time and low energy
"I wish I could make it go away. "It" meaning your loneliness.  I wish I could make the sun come out and it would be 70 degrees by 0800. I don't have that kind of power. I resist doing things alone as well. This was the second…"
Jan 8

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Soulmate's Blog

It's Not All About Me

Posted on December 27, 2017 at 4:30pm 2 Comments

I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.

It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.

The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…

Continue

"Healing and surviving"

Posted on September 6, 2017 at 10:30am 2 Comments

November 22nd will be the 1 year anniversary of my wife’s death.

I don't know how I will feel that day, but I know I don't want to spend it alone.…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 8:34am on November 26, 2017, The Hungover Widow said…
Thank you for the thoughtful, supportive comments on my article. I was a hard one to write. I completely agree that it’s the closeness and odd little things that we miss. And yes, loneliness is the killer. I’ve had a hard time explaining that to people. I see that you just made it through the one-year anniversary of your wife’s death. I hope Thanksgiving wasn’t too painful.

Take care,
Debbie
At 2:36am on July 17, 2017, CLT1965 (Cindy) said…

Hi Soulmate, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 5 months ago and the pain that I have experienced is worse than I could imagine. It made me think that you really don't understand what it is like to lose a spouse until it happens to you. This site has been a blessing to me that it has enabled me to talk to other widowed people that truly understand what you are going through. I hope you too find the support you need here.

Take Care

Cindy

At 8:39pm on July 16, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, soulmate. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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