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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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soulmate
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soulmate's Discussions

Catastrophizing and anxiety

Started this discussion. Last reply by Athena53 Jan 9. 3 Replies

This is the only place I feel safe sharing topics like this, with others, who are more likely to understand-I am a bit of an "Over thinker" meaning I ruminate-I have always been that way to a point.…Continue

Unexpected "Grief Triggers"

Started this discussion. Last reply by Susan May 8. 35 Replies

I think all of you have encountered something similar to an event I experienced last night.It's been almost 13 months since my wife died. Last night I was at a convenience/drug store. When making my…Continue

If you had one hour to talk with your spouse what would you tell them?

Started this discussion. Last reply by PJC Sep 4, 2017. 2 Replies

If I had one hour to talk to my wife I would tell her how much I love her! How she changed my life for the better. I would tell her it was an honor to care for her, to be with her, and if I could…Continue

 

soulmate's Page

Latest Activity

soulmate replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"Thank you. I think he was drunk when he said it. No excuse. I haven't spoken to him since"
Aug 1
soulmate replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion the little things
"Before we went to sleep at night I'd tell her "If you wake up at 2:00 AM and want me, I'm ready and here!" She'd say "Okay, count on it" It never happened (at 2:00 AM anyway) LOL"
Jul 29
soulmate replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"This is absolutely true-I had a "Friend" say to me a month after my second wife died of cancer-"David, after losing two wives to cancer, going through it twice, no one would blame you if you offed yourself" Not a helpful…"
Jul 29
soulmate replied to WoodTurner's discussion Permission to Remarry
"Great post-I remember my wife telling me "I think you'll find someone again. You are healthy and virile." I remember how uncomfortable I was with her comment, particularly the last word-lol.  I really thought I would pick up and…"
Jul 10
Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Raebee,     I hope the Grief Support helps you.  It's been about 2 years for me, and I still cry sometimes. It's usualy triggered by music. Susan"
May 8
Raebee replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Yes, I understand. I cried when I went in and paid the mortgage off on our house. Bawled, in fact. I'm sure they thought I was nuts, but I wanted him back rather than a paid off house. Crying hits me as well at the most unusual times. And…"
May 8
SweetMelissa2007 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I believe our triggers stem from our calexis/bond with our spouse - loss of marriage - memories still alive ... My memories were of the funeral director calling me to say the wax used to pack the missing top & back of Bob's head kept…"
May 3
Callie2 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Of course you can’t help it. We will always have memories of both the good and bad. I think it is harder for those who have lost their spouses/partners after a lengthy illness. My husband died suddenly and that comes with its own set of…"
May 3
vintage56(barb) replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I had one today, cooking rice of all things. I was looking for some bouillon or something for flavor. I remembered having some little envelopes to make a cup of chicken broth. Then I remembered I got rid of them. Then I remembered why. In the…"
May 3
Callie2 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Told you so..told you so.. Lol. Have fun!"
Mar 7
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Your welcome.  Just an update:  all the stuff I worried about didn't happen.  I'm sure it's because I worried about it so much! Made it to London on schedule; my flight to Delhi is tomorrow."
Mar 7
Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Thank You for the information :-) Susan"
Mar 6
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Susan, I'd say it's probably safer than many taxi services- the driver's rating is displayed when you get acknowledgement that he/she is on his/her way.  Both drivers were nice- the guy who took me home offered to wait till I…"
Mar 6
Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Athena,    This has noth9ing to do with this post subject... Sorry... But I need to know what you think of Uber. ( In case I need it someday)  Do you think it's safe? Regards, Susan"
Mar 6
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Thanks, Callie2!  I know chances are everything will run more or less on time but I'm an expert on what can go wrong from personal experience and I am SO good at finding things to worry about! Yes, that ordeal in the mall would have left…"
Mar 5

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Soulmate's Blog

It's Not All About Me

Posted on December 27, 2017 at 4:30pm 2 Comments

I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.

It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.

The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…

Continue

"Healing and surviving"

Posted on September 6, 2017 at 10:30am 2 Comments

November 22nd will be the 1 year anniversary of my wife’s death.

I don't know how I will feel that day, but I know I don't want to spend it alone.…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 8:34am on November 26, 2017, The Hungover Widow said…
Thank you for the thoughtful, supportive comments on my article. I was a hard one to write. I completely agree that it’s the closeness and odd little things that we miss. And yes, loneliness is the killer. I’ve had a hard time explaining that to people. I see that you just made it through the one-year anniversary of your wife’s death. I hope Thanksgiving wasn’t too painful.

Take care,
Debbie
At 2:36am on July 17, 2017, CLT1965 (Cindy) said…

Hi Soulmate, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 5 months ago and the pain that I have experienced is worse than I could imagine. It made me think that you really don't understand what it is like to lose a spouse until it happens to you. This site has been a blessing to me that it has enabled me to talk to other widowed people that truly understand what you are going through. I hope you too find the support you need here.

Take Care

Cindy

At 8:39pm on July 16, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, soulmate. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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