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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

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soulmate
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  • The Hungover Widow
  • Dianne in Nevada

soulmate's Discussions

Catastrophizing and anxiety

Started this discussion. Last reply by Athena53 Jan 9. 3 Replies

This is the only place I feel safe sharing topics like this, with others, who are more likely to understand-I am a bit of an "Over thinker" meaning I ruminate-I have always been that way to a point.…Continue

Unexpected "Grief Triggers"

Started this discussion. Last reply by Susan May 8. 35 Replies

I think all of you have encountered something similar to an event I experienced last night.It's been almost 13 months since my wife died. Last night I was at a convenience/drug store. When making my…Continue

If you had one hour to talk with your spouse what would you tell them?

Started this discussion. Last reply by PJC Sep 4, 2017. 2 Replies

If I had one hour to talk to my wife I would tell her how much I love her! How she changed my life for the better. I would tell her it was an honor to care for her, to be with her, and if I could…Continue

 

soulmate's Page

Latest Activity

Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Raebee,     I hope the Grief Support helps you.  It's been about 2 years for me, and I still cry sometimes. It's usualy triggered by music. Susan"
May 8
Raebee replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Yes, I understand. I cried when I went in and paid the mortgage off on our house. Bawled, in fact. I'm sure they thought I was nuts, but I wanted him back rather than a paid off house. Crying hits me as well at the most unusual times. And…"
May 8
SweetMelissa2007 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I believe our triggers stem from our calexis/bond with our spouse - loss of marriage - memories still alive ... My memories were of the funeral director calling me to say the wax used to pack the missing top & back of Bob's head kept…"
May 3
Callie2 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Of course you can’t help it. We will always have memories of both the good and bad. I think it is harder for those who have lost their spouses/partners after a lengthy illness. My husband died suddenly and that comes with its own set of…"
May 3
vintage56(barb) replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I had one today, cooking rice of all things. I was looking for some bouillon or something for flavor. I remembered having some little envelopes to make a cup of chicken broth. Then I remembered I got rid of them. Then I remembered why. In the…"
May 3
Callie2 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Told you so..told you so.. Lol. Have fun!"
Mar 7
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Your welcome.  Just an update:  all the stuff I worried about didn't happen.  I'm sure it's because I worried about it so much! Made it to London on schedule; my flight to Delhi is tomorrow."
Mar 7
Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Thank You for the information :-) Susan"
Mar 6
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Susan, I'd say it's probably safer than many taxi services- the driver's rating is displayed when you get acknowledgement that he/she is on his/her way.  Both drivers were nice- the guy who took me home offered to wait till I…"
Mar 6
Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Athena,    This has noth9ing to do with this post subject... Sorry... But I need to know what you think of Uber. ( In case I need it someday)  Do you think it's safe? Regards, Susan"
Mar 6
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Thanks, Callie2!  I know chances are everything will run more or less on time but I'm an expert on what can go wrong from personal experience and I am SO good at finding things to worry about! Yes, that ordeal in the mall would have left…"
Mar 5
Callie2 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"Athena, I know that awful feeling when we misplace a car key or house key or if we lock ourselves out of either one. I remember doing both. It can be a bit of a panic situation. So glad you were able to get the spare and that some kind soul turned…"
Mar 5
Susan replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"HI Athena!    It sounds as if,"  If you didn't have bad luck, you would have no luck at all " :-(   But I'm glad you found your keys!    Have fun on your trip! Susan"
Mar 5
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I've had a few very trying days.  Root canal Friday, then Saturday I misplaced my car keys at the gym.  Looked everywhere for them with help from an employee (even the trash), finally fired up an Uber app on my phone that I'd…"
Mar 5
Diamond Sky replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"My first time to the grocery store after my Love passed, I had a major panic attack...it was all too overwhelming: the lights, the people, the choices...i walked in there and was suddenly looking only for his face in the store and became angry that…"
Feb 11
Athena53 replied to soulmate's discussion Unexpected "Grief Triggers"
"I wasn't hit quite that hard, but last December I checked into a edgy hotel (The Greenville, SC Aloft) and the two bed pillows had highly-pixellated faces, a male on one and a female on the other.  The world doesn't always come in…"
Feb 11

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Soulmate's Blog

It's Not All About Me

Posted on December 27, 2017 at 4:30pm 2 Comments

I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.

It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.

The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…

Continue

"Healing and surviving"

Posted on September 6, 2017 at 10:30am 2 Comments

November 22nd will be the 1 year anniversary of my wife’s death.

I don't know how I will feel that day, but I know I don't want to spend it alone.…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 8:34am on November 26, 2017, The Hungover Widow said…
Thank you for the thoughtful, supportive comments on my article. I was a hard one to write. I completely agree that it’s the closeness and odd little things that we miss. And yes, loneliness is the killer. I’ve had a hard time explaining that to people. I see that you just made it through the one-year anniversary of your wife’s death. I hope Thanksgiving wasn’t too painful.

Take care,
Debbie
At 2:36am on July 17, 2017, CLT1965 (Cindy) said…

Hi Soulmate, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 5 months ago and the pain that I have experienced is worse than I could imagine. It made me think that you really don't understand what it is like to lose a spouse until it happens to you. This site has been a blessing to me that it has enabled me to talk to other widowed people that truly understand what you are going through. I hope you too find the support you need here.

Take Care

Cindy

At 8:39pm on July 16, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, soulmate. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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