This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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Soulmate's Friends

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  • The Hungover Widow
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  • Dianne in Nevada

soulmate's Discussions

Catastrophizing and anxiety

Started this discussion. Last reply by Athena53 Jan 9, 2018. 3 Replies

This is the only place I feel safe sharing topics like this, with others, who are more likely to understand-I am a bit of an "Over thinker" meaning I ruminate-I have always been that way to a point.…Continue

Unexpected "Grief Triggers"

Started this discussion. Last reply by Susan May 8, 2018. 35 Replies

I think all of you have encountered something similar to an event I experienced last night.It's been almost 13 months since my wife died. Last night I was at a convenience/drug store. When making my…Continue

If you had one hour to talk with your spouse what would you tell them?

Started this discussion. Last reply by PJC Sep 4, 2017. 2 Replies

If I had one hour to talk to my wife I would tell her how much I love her! How she changed my life for the better. I would tell her it was an honor to care for her, to be with her, and if I could…Continue


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Latest Activity

soulmate replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Christmas
"The holidays are extremey difficult for me. My wife loved the holidays and went out of her way to celebrate with people. She was able to initiate social engagements much better than I can (or am willing too) The rain, clouds, add to the feeling of…"
Dec 17, 2018
soulmate replied to Charlieboy117's discussion My Recent Lose...
"HI Charlie-I very much appreciate your candid share. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes. My first marriage of 32 years was rough. Although she was not alcoholic, there were periods where I considered leaving the marriage. I grieved a lot over what…"
Dec 17, 2018
soulmate replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Severe Anxiety
"I am encouraged to hear that Griefshare has helped you! I am a cofaciliattor of Griefshare in the town I live in. It has helped me to help others! I always tell participants the first night that if they continue to attend, they will be laughing and…"
Dec 2, 2018
soulmate replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Severe Anxiety
"I understand what you are going through. I have always been a "Spinner." I tend to overthink things but since my wife died I do it more frequently. One example is catastrophizing - if a person I care for doesn't get back to me in a…"
Nov 21, 2018
soulmate replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Winter time BLUES complicating grief.
"Hi Misty-I understand what you are dealing with. This will be the second holiday season without my wife, the anniversary of her death (2 years) is this Thanksgiving day, the 22nd. I don't really want to put up a Christmas tree, unless I have…"
Nov 20, 2018
soulmate replied to J in Florida's discussion Health insurance coverage for surviving spouse
"I suggest contacting an insurance broker who knows how to navigate what you need. It may not be perfect but hopefully they can save you some money. I am still on my wifes "Death Benefit" insurance and it's going up to over $800.00 a…"
Nov 20, 2018
soulmate commented on jlsrdh's blog post 2 months
"I do undestand what you are going through. It is agony. It will be 2 years for me this November 22nd I lost my soul mate to cancer. You aren't alone-I am suffering with you.  I think it's important to cry. I still do. I don't…"
Oct 21, 2018
soulmate commented on jlsrdh's blog post 2 months
"I wish I could take some of that weight and put it on my own shoulders. I can't say I "Know how you feel." I don't. But its fair for me to say I can  relate to what you are going through. I am coming up on the two year…"
Oct 21, 2018
soulmate replied to Miket's discussion Nothing Compares in the group Widowed in 2016
"I am sorry you are having to experience this Miket-my two year anniversary will be this November 22nd. I still have our photo's on my hard drive and today I looked at them. Two years ago this month I knew the end was approaching and was…"
Oct 17, 2018
soulmate replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"I have always had the philosophy-friends first and if, IF, a romance develops, fine! But if it doesn't then a friendship is a wonderful thing. A person can't have too many friends. I don't want to get gender libido here but if a man…"
Sep 11, 2018
soulmate replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"As a widower there have been times when I have been "Hit on" by women as well. Notes on my windshield, some women can be quite aggressive "Hey...your'e cute!"  Most of them are single women but I still , while…"
Sep 11, 2018
Callie2 commented on soulmate's blog post People professing faith often fail those in grief
"Are you assuming that all Christians are compassionate? That’s almost like saying all Christians are honest, but let me tell you they are not. People are people and we may all try to do well but sometimes we have to experience these things…"
Aug 24, 2018
SweetMelissa2007 commented on soulmate's blog post People professing faith often fail those in grief
"BTW, Bob's service was Catholic, I believe everyone was behaving according to it being a religious ceremony ..."
Aug 23, 2018
SweetMelissa2007 commented on soulmate's blog post People professing faith often fail those in grief
"(((HUGS Soulmate))) During my 70,028 darkest hours - 7 1/2 years, commonly used religious sayings, quotes & proverbs took on a different feeling & meaning attributed to the mental anguish, painful physical grief & anger from loss. I can…"
Aug 23, 2018

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Soulmate's Blog

People professing faith often fail those in grief

Posted on August 22, 2018 at 9:40am 4 Comments

I am Christian. I have been a Christian all my life. But there are some things Christians do that disturb people who profess a faith, or who don't profess faith of any kind, and frankly, it bothers me too.

When some Christians don't know what words to say to comfort a person or offer solace, "We" tend to share a reference in the Bible about faith, usually an implied or overt statement that the person suffering needs more faith,…


It's Not All About Me

Posted on December 27, 2017 at 4:30pm 2 Comments

I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.

It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.

The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…


"Healing and surviving"

Posted on September 6, 2017 at 10:30am 2 Comments

November 22nd will be the 1 year anniversary of my wife’s death.

I don't know how I will feel that day, but I know I don't want to spend it alone.…


Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 8:34am on November 26, 2017, The Hungover Widow said…
Thank you for the thoughtful, supportive comments on my article. I was a hard one to write. I completely agree that it’s the closeness and odd little things that we miss. And yes, loneliness is the killer. I’ve had a hard time explaining that to people. I see that you just made it through the one-year anniversary of your wife’s death. I hope Thanksgiving wasn’t too painful.

Take care,
At 2:36am on July 17, 2017, CLT1965 (Cindy) said…

Hi Soulmate, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 5 months ago and the pain that I have experienced is worse than I could imagine. It made me think that you really don't understand what it is like to lose a spouse until it happens to you. This site has been a blessing to me that it has enabled me to talk to other widowed people that truly understand what you are going through. I hope you too find the support you need here.

Take Care


At 8:39pm on July 16, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, soulmate. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.


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