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soulmate
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soulmate's Discussions

Nights

Started this discussion. Last reply by Forever Changed Sep 10. 15 Replies

Of the 24 hours in a day, nights are the toughest. Mornings are okay, afternoons tolerable. But nights, when it gets dark, can be a real bitch.(That's the best word I can come up to describe it,…Continue

Sensitive topic but one perhaps some can relate too

Started this discussion. Last reply by Rich Feb 3. 1 Reply

I have a question, and I feel safe sharing it here.Not every night, but a few nights a week, I have found that alcohol soothes my grief and helps me sleep.I know it can be an addiction, but there are…Continue

Still attend the same church? Or church at all?

Started this discussion. Last reply by shebert56 Jan 14. 7 Replies

Good Morning. I know there is a group on Widowed Village called "People of Faith," but I don't see recent posts on it. I think it's appropriate to share this topic in a general setting. My question…Continue

If you could choose one song to express how you feel after the death of your spouse what would it be?

Started this discussion. Last reply by sis Oct 5, 2019. 58 Replies

I don't know if this has been posted as a topic before but I am curious if there is a song that seems to hit home for you with regard to the pain of losing your mate. While there are numerous songs…Continue

 

soulmate's Page

Latest Activity

Forever Changed replied to soulmate's discussion Nights
"Thank you and sorry for your loss as well. "
Sep 10
soulmate replied to soulmate's discussion Nights
"I am sorry for your pain, I know it hurts. Interesting in that I don't recall dreaming of my spouse. Now, of course, I'll probably dream of her and wake up in tears.  "
Sep 8
soulmate replied to soulmate's discussion Nights
"Thanks for your reply, Frank. I'm retired and there have been times I wish I was working full time again. "
Sep 8
Forever Changed replied to soulmate's discussion Nights
"For me it tends to be the mornings and dinnertime for the most part. When I sit and have my morning coffee and he don't come out to join me is very hard. This usually sets off my morning tidal wave of tears. Dinnertime is tough too but then…"
Sep 8
Frank replied to soulmate's discussion Nights
"Hi, Nights, and possibly weekends, can be terrible.  Much of the problem is that traditionally, we are out working during the days, come home, and relax with our spouse. This when we eat with each other and relax with each other, after a busy…"
Sep 6
soulmate replied to Rich's discussion The obsession of starting a new relationship
"Barbee- That is a wonderful story, thank you! I/we need a feel-good story in today's world. You made my day!"
Sep 1
soulmate replied to Rich's discussion The obsession of starting a new relationship
"I don't think there is a cookbook formula for seeking another relationship. For some survivors, 3 months, others 3 years, and some never. I think it depends on the nature of the death of a spouse as well. For some of us, our spouses had a…"
Aug 31
soulmate posted a discussion

Nights

Of the 24 hours in a day, nights are the toughest. Mornings are okay, afternoons tolerable. But nights, when it gets dark, can be a real bitch.(That's the best word I can come up to describe it, works for me)Take care everyone.See More
Jul 1
soulmate replied to Scotty's discussion New to the "Club"
"I am sorry you are having to experience suffering. While I won't ever say "I know how you feel" I will convey I am familiar with the silence. I equate the death and caretaking of a spouse to driving 100 mph and suddenly to zero-life…"
Jun 26
soulmate replied to Tanne's discussion Getting your day structured
"Hi Tanne-first off, I am sorry you have lost your husband. I know how it hurts. I've been through this twice, lost two spouses to cancer, six years apart. I retired early so my wife and I could travel, and less than a year later, she died.…"
Mar 25
soulmate replied to Jill's discussion A hard question but do you have any regrets about your behavior during your marriage?
"I don't think I linger in regret; however, I wish I'd told her I loved her more often. Interestingly, my sister-in-law told me she heard me say to my wife (when she was sick) that" I love you" all the time, but I don't…"
Mar 1
Rich replied to soulmate's discussion Sensitive topic but one perhaps some can relate too
"While drinking may help (in the short term) I think it will lead to more problems than you want. In my college days and for a few years afterward I drank pretty hard. Janet did not tolerate drinking and I stopped. Haven't had a drink since the…"
Feb 3
soulmate replied to MishyB's discussion Is it just me, or is "How are you?" a dumb question to ask a widow?
"I am guilty of this as well, and yet, I feel I should know better. I have found that listening, without saying a word, eye contact, being there is the most effective. When I have been hurting, what has helped me is having a person be silent as I…"
Jan 25
shebert56 replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"Soulmate, keep your faith in your own personal way.  You do not need to enter a "building" to be in the presence of God, Source, Spirit.  It is always around and part of you.   As Diva so eloquently said, do what's…"
Jan 14
DIVA70 replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"Soulmate, first let me say how sorry I am for your loss. Regarding your question concerning church, I believe I can relate to your struggles. It has been almost two years since my husband passed away. We were together 50 years. We joined the same…"
Jan 13
soulmate replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"Thank you I am learning my faith is something that nothing can take away. As I get older I become more grateful for it"
Jan 12

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Soulmate's Blog

It's Not All About Me

Posted on December 27, 2017 at 4:30pm 2 Comments

I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.

It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.

The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…

Continue

"Healing and surviving"

Posted on September 6, 2017 at 10:30am 2 Comments

November 22nd will be the 1 year anniversary of my wife’s death.

I don't know how I will feel that day, but I know I don't want to spend it alone.…

Continue

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At 8:34am on November 26, 2017, The Hungover Widow said…
Thank you for the thoughtful, supportive comments on my article. I was a hard one to write. I completely agree that it’s the closeness and odd little things that we miss. And yes, loneliness is the killer. I’ve had a hard time explaining that to people. I see that you just made it through the one-year anniversary of your wife’s death. I hope Thanksgiving wasn’t too painful.

Take care,
Debbie
At 2:36am on July 17, 2017, CLT1965 (Cindy) said…

Hi Soulmate, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 5 months ago and the pain that I have experienced is worse than I could imagine. It made me think that you really don't understand what it is like to lose a spouse until it happens to you. This site has been a blessing to me that it has enabled me to talk to other widowed people that truly understand what you are going through. I hope you too find the support you need here.

Take Care

Cindy

At 8:39pm on July 16, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, soulmate. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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