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soulmate
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soulmate's Discussions

Sensitive topic but one perhaps some can relate too

Started this discussion. Last reply by Rich Feb 3. 1 Reply

I have a question, and I feel safe sharing it here.Not every night, but a few nights a week, I have found that alcohol soothes my grief and helps me sleep.I know it can be an addiction, but there are…Continue

Still attend the same church? Or church at all?

Started this discussion. Last reply by shebert56 Jan 14. 7 Replies

Good Morning. I know there is a group on Widowed Village called "People of Faith," but I don't see recent posts on it. I think it's appropriate to share this topic in a general setting. My question…Continue

If you could choose one song to express how you feel after the death of your spouse what would it be?

Started this discussion. Last reply by sis Oct 5, 2019. 58 Replies

I don't know if this has been posted as a topic before but I am curious if there is a song that seems to hit home for you with regard to the pain of losing your mate. While there are numerous songs…Continue

Catastrophizing and anxiety

Started this discussion. Last reply by Athena53 Jan 9, 2018. 3 Replies

This is the only place I feel safe sharing topics like this, with others, who are more likely to understand-I am a bit of an "Over thinker" meaning I ruminate-I have always been that way to a point.…Continue

 

soulmate's Page

Latest Activity

soulmate replied to Tanne's discussion Getting your day structured
"Hi Tanne-first off, I am sorry you have lost your husband. I know how it hurts. I've been through this twice, lost two spouses to cancer, six years apart. I retired early so my wife and I could travel, and less than a year later, she died.…"
Wednesday
soulmate replied to Jill's discussion A hard question but do you have any regrets about your behavior during your marriage?
"I don't think I linger in regret; however, I wish I'd told her I loved her more often. Interestingly, my sister-in-law told me she heard me say to my wife (when she was sick) that" I love you" all the time, but I don't…"
Mar 1
Rich replied to soulmate's discussion Sensitive topic but one perhaps some can relate too
"While drinking may help (in the short term) I think it will lead to more problems than you want. In my college days and for a few years afterward I drank pretty hard. Janet did not tolerate drinking and I stopped. Haven't had a drink since the…"
Feb 3
soulmate replied to MishyB's discussion Is it just me, or is "How are you?" a dumb question to ask a widow?
"I am guilty of this as well, and yet, I feel I should know better. I have found that listening, without saying a word, eye contact, being there is the most effective. When I have been hurting, what has helped me is having a person be silent as I…"
Jan 25
shebert56 replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"Soulmate, keep your faith in your own personal way.  You do not need to enter a "building" to be in the presence of God, Source, Spirit.  It is always around and part of you.   As Diva so eloquently said, do what's…"
Jan 14
DIVA70 replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"Soulmate, first let me say how sorry I am for your loss. Regarding your question concerning church, I believe I can relate to your struggles. It has been almost two years since my husband passed away. We were together 50 years. We joined the same…"
Jan 13
soulmate replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"Thank you I am learning my faith is something that nothing can take away. As I get older I become more grateful for it"
Jan 12
Lisa_says replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"Yes Rich I agree.  I don't think anyone can know the relentless heart break unless they have gone through it. I'm sure their intentions are good.  It's just hard to stomach at this point for me. I look forward to seeing my…"
Jan 12
Rich replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"Lisa: Regarding your comment: "I do not miss it to be honest. The comments of "you shouldn't be crying, you should be celebrating because he is with the Lord" really upset me"  Those comments are made by those who have…"
Jan 12
Lisa_says replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"I attended church every Sunday with my husband Doug when his health permitted.  I attended because it made him happy.  He was the social one.  I have only been to church twice since he passed away (1 year) I can't sit where we…"
Jan 12
Rich replied to soulmate's discussion Still attend the same church? Or church at all?
"While both Janet and I strongly believed in Jesus Christ we only attended Easter sunrise services that were held in a field close by. We are/were private people and belonging to a Church (or any group) requires interaction. Not a big fan of people…"
Jan 12
soulmate replied to Maggiepie's discussion Talking to hubby in my head or aloud
"Great topic-thank you. I have conversations with both my deceased wives at times. It usually focuses on what I wish I had said, but for whatever reasons, I did not pursue it. Sometimes it focuses on an area of stress or conflict in the relationship…"
Jan 12
soulmate posted a discussion

Still attend the same church? Or church at all?

Good Morning. I know there is a group on Widowed Village called "People of Faith," but I don't see recent posts on it. I think it's appropriate to share this topic in a general setting. My question is, "If you went to church or any religious service when your spouse was alive, do you still attend now that they are gone?"This has been an ongoing struggle for me My wife died 3 years ago and there are Sundays that I still feel her profound absence.While I have not questioned my faith, going to the…See More
Jan 12
soulmate replied to Miket's discussion Thoughts on Christmas ... in the group Widowed in 2016
"I hear your agony-I do. I was in San Diego visiting my daughter and her beautiful children for Christmas.  I won't go into detail here, but to make it short, she is making a mess of her marriage. I didn't want to spend Christmas…"
Jan 6
soulmate replied to Miket's discussion The Most Difficult Day of the Year is Upon Me Again in the group Widowed in 2016
"I hear you Miket-holidays are tough for me as well. It was three years on November 22nd that I lost my wife, and it still hurts every day. I can't put it any better-it sucks!"
Jan 6

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Soulmate's Blog

It's Not All About Me

Posted on December 27, 2017 at 4:30pm 2 Comments

I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.

It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.

The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…

Continue

"Healing and surviving"

Posted on September 6, 2017 at 10:30am 2 Comments

November 22nd will be the 1 year anniversary of my wife’s death.

I don't know how I will feel that day, but I know I don't want to spend it alone.…

Continue

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 8:34am on November 26, 2017, The Hungover Widow said…
Thank you for the thoughtful, supportive comments on my article. I was a hard one to write. I completely agree that it’s the closeness and odd little things that we miss. And yes, loneliness is the killer. I’ve had a hard time explaining that to people. I see that you just made it through the one-year anniversary of your wife’s death. I hope Thanksgiving wasn’t too painful.

Take care,
Debbie
At 2:36am on July 17, 2017, CLT1965 (Cindy) said…

Hi Soulmate, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 5 months ago and the pain that I have experienced is worse than I could imagine. It made me think that you really don't understand what it is like to lose a spouse until it happens to you. This site has been a blessing to me that it has enabled me to talk to other widowed people that truly understand what you are going through. I hope you too find the support you need here.

Take Care

Cindy

At 8:39pm on July 16, 2017, Dianne in Nevada said…

Welcome to Widville, soulmate. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but pleased that you found us. You'll find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.

Be sure to check out the HOME page for the latest news.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville.

 
 
 

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