" If you thought that things might work out when you started dating then it wasn’t too soon (even if end up deciding it’s too soon to try again straight away), no-one ever really knows if their ready until it’s too…"
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spudrat
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2 steps back
Started this discussion. Last reply by Patrick May 3. 7 Replies 0 Likes
Hi, havent been on here for a while, thought things were getting better my wife passed away 14 mths ago and I felt ready to move on as the lonlyness and solitude were taking a toll, my children have…Continue
what to do with ashes ?
Started this discussion. Last reply by Angie aka Woody's Girl Oct 6, 2012. 17 Replies 0 Likes
my wife passed awyay about ,about!!,no sorry exactly 9 weeks ago , one of her last request in fact vicki all ways said dont put me in a box in the ground ,I want to be cremated and then bought home…Continue
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aussiewidow replied to spudrat's discussion 2 steps back
"I don't think anyone can plan to date and plan to fall in love.
Initially I went out with my new man because I wanted some male company and it was good to go to the movies and have a chat afterwards. It was a couple of months before I realised…"
Paul R replied to spudrat's discussion 2 steps back
"I guess I should clarify that comment that neither author waited. They didn't but they also said that their early dating was an unmitigated disaster. The future wives came into their lives after the disasters and a bout of not…"
Jpswife(Cathy) replied to spudrat's discussion 2 steps back
"its kinda funny they both recommend waiting 2-5 years YET neither did themselves!!:)
another perspective on the matter: I'm a Christian and I firmly believe God has a plan for my life---I believe IF God has someone for me to share the…"
Paul R replied to spudrat's discussion 2 steps back
"As others have said each person is different. I was trying the dating thing, but decided that I'm not ready yet after a year. What helped me clarify that is a book called Grief Odyssey by Douglas O'Neill and Dan…"
kelleyinnewyork replied to spudrat's discussion 2 steps back
"Hi. Im guessing she was just not the right person for you, and maybe you werent ready - who knows. Of course you will always love Vicki, but theres room in your heart for someone new too, when youre ready. Maybe its not time yet. Im 22 months out…"
aussiewidow replied to spudrat's discussion 2 steps back
"Hard to know what's right or wrong sometimes, spudrat.
I guess she just didn't love you enough or didn't understand?
It must be hard for the new partner to deal with the love of the person who died. I have said to the new man in my…"
spudrat posted a discussion
2 steps back
Hi, havent been on here for a while, thought things were getting better my wife passed away 14 mths ago and I felt ready to move on as the lonlyness and solitude were taking a toll, my children have all moved out of home since vicki died and the silence was deafining and started dating and met a lovely lady , she was actually the receptionist at the Drs we go to, so she knew the situation , now after about 2 months and taking our relationship to the next level she has ended it saying she…See More
spudrat posted a photo 
vlcsnap-2012-10-13-09h53m27s45
Today would have been our 28th wedding anniversaryYou can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel.
Angie aka Woody's Girl replied to spudrat's discussion what to do with ashes ?
"Oh Lisa! Thank you for the perfect solution! My husband's ashes are on his nightstand because I want him close to me. But I couldn't imagine that our sons would want to keep us both! Mixing us and releasing us together is exactly what…"
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Comment Wall (6 comments)
- At 3:58am on July 9, 2012,
chrism said… Cheers Spudrat,and thanks for the friend invite,I am really sorry for the loss of your lovely wife ,I too still wear my wedding ring so I know where you are coming from,take care Chris
- At 6:07pm on July 4, 2012,
Dawn- Clouds Mum said… Hi spudrat, thanks for the friend request. Gladly accepted. I also wish we could have met under better circumstances, but that is just how it is.
I am 18 months out now and doing okay and will read up on your circumstances and send you a private message.
You will make it through this mate, it's not an easy journey, but it does get better over time.
(((HUGS))) Dawn
- At 10:14pm on June 10, 2012,
Singledadof9 said… Brother spudrat, you will make it through. Hold on to anything you can get your hands on - the kids especially. They kept me going and that kept my grief moving. Praying for you.
- At 5:35pm on May 23, 2012,
VOLUNTEERSupa Dupa Fresh said… Welcome to our community.... I hope we can keep you company on your journey ahead. Please look around a bit and read this basic introduction to the site. You can find more information about how the community works under "Help!" in the navigation bar, and we'll send you a few newsletters with tips and ideas in the coming weeks. If you need a little more help, go to the Home page and look in the right hand column to see the link to a "Help Desk" form.
We all use the site differently, but we hope you feel comfortable sharing among us in the coming days, weeks, and months.
Big hug!
Supa
site founder and admin
- At 8:12am on May 16, 2012,
Arnie (New Normal) said… …
Hi spudrat,
I am so sorry for your loss yet I am glad you found us. You will find some great help here on the site and the relationships you will build with all of the great people here. We are all on the other side of life now and only we can really understand how you feel. I am on chat quiet often and it is scary and overwhelming at times in the beginning. I would like to offer a bit of assistance when you are ready use the chat room.
1. I always advise you watch for a bit, the room gets busy sometimes and hard to follow at first.
2. You will see some joking and even laughter, you will also see tears and breakdowns. The people here are here to support and be supported by peers.
3. Looking at the chat you will see that the left window has a sliding bar that tells you who is online (they may be on another part of the site though)
4. If you click on a name in the side bar this should open up a private chat or PC as we call it.
5. I f you receive a PC a red # will show under the main lobby with the name and icon of the person it is from or if you sent it to someone
6. Your first entry:
This is hit or miss, it really depends on when you jump in if lots of folks are chatting you can easily get missed. I recommend just saying Hi I am new and give whatever info you want (hi I am Arnie From NJ and today I am 3 months and 3 days out) this way if others are from NJ they may want to know more.
7. BE READY:
Ok once you do go into the lobby be ready as the questions are needed and they are sometimes gentile, sometimes the questions fly at you. Please take your time here as if this is new for you this may open you up emotionally, and it is normal to feel this and from what i am told a needed part of trying to begin to live again.
8. Most people on the chat are women as of now but the men that are involved are very respectful and sometimes fun.
9. Remember almost no one knew each other until they came here.
10. Good luck and I sent you a friend request, lets face it near or far we need support, and with so many from around the world there is almost always someone on.
ALSO using internet explorer is problematic with chat so Firefox appears to be the best..
I hope this long winded letter helps you in the beginning and again SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.
- At 12:51am on May 16, 2012,
Dianne in Nevada said… 
I'm so very sorry for your loss, spudrat, but glad you found us. There is caring support and friendship here. Join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. Those 'chirps' you hear when you're in Widowed Village mean people are talking in the Chat Room; stop in some time and join the conversations. I look forward to getting to know you here.
This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people
Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.
Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.
We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."
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