"Kittus ... Weekends can be tough for those who are grieving. Try making plans with friends you know or perhaps with single female coworkers to give you a good start and just take it slow by filling in one day a weekend at the beginning and…"
"Judy ... I know how bad the pain can be and I feel as caregivers we are so busy busy looking after our spouses it never enters our minds that they could pass away. I was always on top of things with his health previously and as it's…"
"ebwilkie ... Many people don't understand the dying process and the grimace you saw on your husband's face can be a part of the dying process (not all will do this) but he was not in pain if that is what you were worried…"
"Judy ... You did not do anything wrong by not being their for your husband. I have seen many loved ones pass away (my own husband) and all passed away as they wanted to ... alone. They are not truly alone, but going through the stages of…"
"Snydergirl ... The same thing happened to me with my husband, but he had just been moved into Hospice. Because he was on strong pain medication I made sure he knew where he was and that I was there. I could tell by looking at him that he…"
"To all of you I wish you the best New Year that you can possibly have considering the circumstance. I am praying that all of you will have a new year with less pain; peace; good health and light at the end of the tunnel.
"Hi Sunchaser, I appreciate your note on my wall, and your prayers. You'll be in mine too. I am thankful for this place where I know everyone understands. I can relate to what you mentioned about reality. It's so much like what…"
"Blue Snow ... I too was the caregiver for my own parents; my husband's parents and eventually my own husband and like you I feel at loose ends and I'm trying to find where I fit into this world and it's not an easy task. …"
"Steve ... I laughed so hard over your blue hair! I could just see it! You must have been a handful for Mike with your pranks and annoyed yes, but one reason he loved you.
You have come a longer way through your grief than you…"
"Thank you for the comment, Sunchaser. Yes, must be similar trees... I love the pine cones, and that it's pre-lit. I didn't have it in me to pull out decorations this year... too many memories.... just pulling out my husband's stocking…"
"Jerry, I think most of us can feel like that. I have come to realize that my husband would want me to be happy and it would hurt his heart if I wasn't. He did worry about how I would live without him so I try my very best to grasp life by…"
"gcortez55 ... Yes, I felt just like you. I had the tummy flu a couple of weeks back and I've never felt so alone. My husband was like yours and was there if I needed him and I was there if he was sick. Then I'd get…"
"Steve ... As always you speak from the heart and let 'er rip. I know that feeling ofnnot wanting to get out of bed; no shopping; no nothing and when you eventually decide you have to do it because no one else will it's tough. I…"
"Hi Shari ... I'm so proud of you for putting up the tree and trying to make the best of the Christmas holidays. I know it isn't easy. In 2011 when my husband died in April I was in a fog and got through Christmas a lot easier…"
Hi Sunchaser, I appreciate your note on my wall, and your prayers. You'll be in mine too. I am thankful for this place where I know everyone understands. I can relate to what you mentioned about reality. It's so much like what I read somewhere about grief coming in waves... and it's like the waves are hitting much harder now than they did before. Take good care, and thanks again.
Thank you for the comment, Sunchaser. Yes, must be similar trees... I love the pine cones, and that it's pre-lit. I didn't have it in me to pull out decorations this year... too many memories.... just pulling out my husband's stocking made me bawl... so instead I bought a few simple ones. It seems the grief is getting harder... I understand about having people over... it will be awhile before I can do that. Thanks again for your kindness, Shari
Hi Sunchaser, The books are ebooks and I self published. There are three books currently in the series... Widowhood 101, Widowhood 102 and Widowhood 103. They are all published on most sites, also have some poetry books too and published those all on Amazon.
My name, which I use for my writing, won't disguise myself, is Dawn Millen.
As for volunteering, I have been a member of the State Emergency Service here in New South Wales for 10 years now and Keith and I both spent a lot of time volunteering for our community despite his disabilities. I am part of the Incident Management Team in the local area and have also been sent around the state during the flooding earlier this year. Our whole basis is in disaster management... something I am pretty good at after all the years (25) of nursing Keith through many, many crisis.
Had better go and get some things done around the house before I go and get the tyre mended on the car.... grrrrrrrrrr, flat as a tack yesterday :( and, of course, I had to get a man to come and undo the bolts.... can do the rest, but not the bolts.... dammed arthritis lol. You can also find me on facebook.... Dawn Millen Author or Widowhood Series of Books. Hope to catch up soon. Dawn
sunchaser, welcome to Widowed Village. I am sorry for the reason that brings you here but glad you have found us. This site and the wonderful people here have helped so many of us with fellowship along this journey. I hope that you can find comfort and hope here like so many of us have among others who “get it.” Have a look around and please feel free to contact me if I can be of any help. Hugs!