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Dee1960
  • Female
  • Saint Petersburg, FL
  • United States
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Dee1960's Friends

  • Dana775
  • LandL (Linda)
  • Lablady
  • eliana
  • Morgana (Janet)

Dee1960's Discussions

What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Melissa Sep 13. 18 Replies

The five year anniversary of my husband's death is approaching (May 28) and I am sad, and I am lonely and I missing him more than ever, and stressed with all this pandemic junk going on...  Last…Continue

Mediums

Started this discussion. Last reply by Dee1960 Feb 29. 18 Replies

Just wondering if anyone has gone to a medium to connect with their spouse? And if so, what was the outcome?  *good, bad, or -- ?"  I've been to a few and just want to know what others have done...…Continue

Wedding Rings -- why wear them?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Marian Jul 23. 37 Replies

Today I went out to lunch with a friend (not a widow) and told her all my widowed friends (that I met at Grief Groups) have taken their wedding rings off. I'm still wearing mine. Actually have mine…Continue

Chat room?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Soaring Spirits Jan 12. 1 Reply

What happened to the "temporary chat room"??? Tried to go go there and got a message saying "This group does not exist" ... what's going on? Anyone know?Continue

 

Dee1960's Page

Latest Activity

Melissa replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Yikes Dee, I'm sorry to hear about your friend's response. I'm on the blunter end of these things, and would probably just outright tell someone that if they couldn't be supportive and kind when listening to me talk about my…"
Sep 13
Frank replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Hi All, Folks do say the darnedest things and in our state of mind, sometimes we snap back at them thinking sometimes that what they said is just plain mean. When we loose our spouse it is an agony that is overwhelming.  We can't think, we…"
Sep 10
Marian replied to Dee1960's discussion Wedding Rings -- why wear them?
"It's 5 weeks as of today. I wear his ring on top of my own rings.  For now, this grounds me, because it reminds me of his love ... but also of the current, painful reality that I must not deny (my widow brain still tries to scurry into…"
Jul 23
Really? replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Hi Dee, You posted this a month ago but I’m just arriving and finding it. Why? Because I lost my husband five years ago and while I haven’t needed the support of these boards for some time now, suddenly I find I do. Shrug. I think you…"
Jun 26
Estragon replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"As you say, everyone is different.  In my case, the pain has definitely lessened.  It pretty much had to, because in the first weeks I was practically catatonic with it.  If it stayed the way it was, I'd likely be dead. …"
Jun 25
Rich replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Lorraine: Regarding your comment  "The pain will lessen over time" I don't think the pain lessens, I believe the  level of pain stays the same, we simply get use to it over time and that becomes the new normal. Everyone is…"
Jun 25
LorraineS replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"As with grieving from abuse, some people do not understand that dealing with a spouse's death is a journey not a destination. This is a ride I'll be on the rest of my life. The pain will lessen over time. The journey never ends. I thought…"
Jun 25
Mrs.Linda replied to Dee1960's discussion Wedding Rings -- why wear them?
"Most widows I know, and also my widowed aunts, wear their wedding rings.  They never plan to remarry.  I think if one does wish for a new spouse, then they might not wish to continue to wear them for one reason but there could be many…"
Jun 10
DebiT replied to Dee1960's discussion Wedding Rings -- why wear them?
"It’s been 15 months, and there is no way I could take my wedding rings off.  Maybe someday, but I don’t know why, I have no interest in dating.  I still wear my husband’s wedding ring on a chain around my neck, with a…"
Jun 9
Dee1960 replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"To all who responded, thank you so very much, it was exactly what I needed and I really appreciated it... This year was especially hard, as past death anniversaries a friend would usually invite me for lunch or dinner to get me out of the house and…"
Jun 4
Dee1960 replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Thank you laurajay!"
Jun 4
Callie2 replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Total lack of understanding.  No one “ gets over it”. I’ve gotten used to my husband being gone, but after 11 yrs I can’t say I’ve gotten “over it”.  It’s not unusual to feel sad on those…"
Jun 4
Dee1960 replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Thank you barbee  and sorry to hear of your many losses.... I feel your pain too, my husband died, two weeks later our beloved cat died, and the next month my dog died (I know these are our pets, but are family to me) and then six months later…"
May 26
Dee1960 replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Thank you laurajay, you are so right on so many points,  esp: we do not move forward in our grief to please our dead spouse --- I have to keep reminding myself. My friend is not a widow, she is divorced, her husband an asshole I know divorce…"
May 26
Dee1960 replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Thank you"
May 26
barbee replied to Dee1960's discussion What to say, when well meaning friends tell you to "get over it"?
"Dee, I can feel your pain. Saturday, May 23 would have been my 56th wedding anniversary had he lived. He died seven years ago. No one besides me remembered. It also was the one-month anniversary of my brother-in-law's death from COVID19.…"
May 26

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At 11:07am on May 24, 2018, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, that widow in the pink house. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place.  I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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