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  • Female
  • Thetford Center, VT
  • United States
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vintage56(barb)'s Discussions

the little things

Started this discussion. Last reply by soulmate Jul 29, 2018. 16 Replies

I have been thinking about the silly little things, inside jokes and sayings we used to share. Like if someone passed us on the road in a big hurry, Frank would say "He must have a promise". Or after…Continue

Plans for the holidays

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 25, 2017. 12 Replies

As Frank and I did the "snowbird" thing for 30 years, we were never around family for the holidays. Now I am staying in the frozen north year round and am within driving distance of most of my…Continue

After almost 2 years, little things can still set me off

Started this discussion. Last reply by vintage56(barb) Oct 26, 2016. 9 Replies

looking through FB, someone had a post about their husband getting a knee operation. Just seeing a picture of an older man in a hospital gown with IV started the tears flowing. Does it ever end....Continue

How to feel old

Started this discussion. Last reply by Callie2 Jun 19, 2016. 1 Reply

#1 - Drive to local Social Security office to complete application for widows benefits (turning 60 soon).#2 - Drive past a bunch of young people doing THIS on the way.…Continue


vintage56(barb)'s Page

Latest Activity

vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion JANUARY Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"I get that, Diva, it's hard when people want to wish you a "Happy Birthday" and you know it is NOT going to be happy. They don't know what else to say."
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion JANUARY Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"Today was really hard. I woke up to a funny link forwarded to me by his son, and I thought, I am the only one who knows or remembers this day. I posted a link to "The Dance" by Garth Brooks on FB, no one commented on it. I cried most of…"
Jan 16
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion JANUARY Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"January 16 it will be 4 years since Frank passed."
Jan 14
vintage56(barb) commented on Daisy's blog post New Year’s Eve party
"sounds like a nightmare to me too!! I am a real homebody."
Jan 1
vintage56(barb) replied to sis's discussion Never Saw Myself In Need Of This Support
"welcome sis, we all try to help each other. It's tough to be suddenly alone after so many years of being half of a couple."
Dec 31, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to booktime (Susan)'s discussion New Year's Eve
"I am 62 and have never been to a big traditional NYE party. We always stayed home with a bottle of champagne or 4 pack of coolers, and a bag of chips and dip. NYD is our anniversary. I would cook a big dinner. This year I will be having my…"
Dec 31, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Christmas
"Christmas has always been hard for me since my mom died in December when I was 9. Frank knew this and tried to make it better. One year we were staying at a condo down south, that had a fake ficus tree, when I got up he had decorated it with…"
Dec 18, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Christmas
"J, do what you think is best for you. Don't worry about what other people want."
Dec 16, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Hi Ronda, welcome and (((hugs))). You need to be strong for YOU too. You need to take care of yourself. We are here when you need to talk."
Dec 7, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to Blithe's discussion 6 month grief burst
"you are having a "perfect storm" of grief-inducing events. Any one of these would be bad enough. I hope when you get back to your family and their support, things will be a little better. In the mean time we are here to chat when you need…"
Dec 4, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Welcome Lon."
Nov 22, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to J in Florida's discussion Health insurance coverage for surviving spouse
"If you have assets but low income, you will qualify for great savings on ACA insurance. I pay about $75 a month for great coverage and the feds and state pick up the rest. If I had to pay the whole thing it would be almost $500 a month."
Nov 20, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Holidays
"This will be my 4th year.  Second completely alone. First two winters, I was down south with snowbird friends. I just try to muddle through and not think about it too much. Are you going to be alone? Do you have someone to be with, and does…"
Nov 18, 2018
vintage56(barb) replied to Maggie's discussion Snowbird Home
"We used to snowbird but always rented a condo, never owned. In fact he passed away down there (AL). I went down a couple of years by myself but finally gave it up and stayed up north all last winter. I didn't like the 3 day drive by myself and…"
Oct 25, 2018
vintage56(barb) commented on jlsrdh's blog post 2 months
"I was like you after Frank died. I no longer wanted to cook or bake like I did for him. I lived off Lean Cuisine. I went to a psychic fair about 5 months after he died and the psychic told me, out of the blue, "You aren't cooking or baking…"
Oct 24, 2018
vintage56(barb) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Not So Subtle Reminders
"I doubt people even take note of the day my DH passed. It has been 3.5 years and his whole side of the family treats me like a thing of the past. Which I guess I am."
Oct 24, 2018

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Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 8:16am on August 2, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Barb,  I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!!!  I hope you'll be able to go out (or stay in) and have the best day possible!  You are so special and today is your day!!!  

At 1:33pm on January 3, 2017, diacon said…

Thank you. I don't know what wanting to be my friend means - but thank you for wanting to be my friend!  I appreciate your understanding and acknowledgement of the differences among lonely, alone and lonesomeness.  When I was in a grief group shortly after my spouse died, I collected things that people (albeit well meaning) said and sent them on to  the facilitator.  She (thankfully) is using them.  They are similar to something I saw on this site.  In many ways I would like to move on and in many ways I really don't want to.  Anyone relate?  Thanks.  

At 12:44pm on January 28, 2016, Ted'sRed said…

Thank you for the comment and the friend request, Barb.  I couldn't agree more.  My profile picture was my husband's favorite one of us because it captures the essence of our love (well, at least mine for him - LOL - but it was very much mutual).

At 10:48pm on February 6, 2015, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, vintage56. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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