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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  • Female
  • Thetford Center, VT
  • United States
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vintage56(barb)'s Discussions

the little things

Started this discussion. Last reply by Lisa_says Mar 7. 19 Replies

I have been thinking about the silly little things, inside jokes and sayings we used to share. Like if someone passed us on the road in a big hurry, Frank would say "He must have a promise". Or after…Continue

Plans for the holidays

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 25, 2017. 12 Replies

As Frank and I did the "snowbird" thing for 30 years, we were never around family for the holidays. Now I am staying in the frozen north year round and am within driving distance of most of my…Continue

After almost 2 years, little things can still set me off

Started this discussion. Last reply by Callie2 Feb 12. 14 Replies

looking through FB, someone had a post about their husband getting a knee operation. Just seeing a picture of an older man in a hospital gown with IV started the tears flowing. Does it ever end....Continue

How to feel old

Started this discussion. Last reply by Callie2 Jun 19, 2016. 1 Reply

#1 - Drive to local Social Security office to complete application for widows benefits (turning 60 soon).#2 - Drive past a bunch of young people doing THIS on the way.…Continue


vintage56(barb)'s Page

Latest Activity

vintage56(barb) replied to frankenpickle's discussion Did your pets help you with your loss? Did THEY need YOUR help?
"I have not had a pet for years, but I cried when I read the original post. Dogs and cats know SO much more than we give them credit for."
Aug 5
vintage56(barb) replied to Dee1960's discussion Phone Call from the Afterlife?
"there is also a great book called "Hello from Heaven" about the many ways our loved ones get in touch after they pass on, including phone calls. I got a call a couple of hours after Frank passed, no one there, I said to my friends who were…"
Jul 26
vintage56(barb) replied to invisbeth81's discussion Death not caused by illness or accident
"Hi Beth, there is a private group on here, "public losses" (under the Groups tab) that might be what you are looking for."
Jul 21
vintage56(barb) replied to Jill's discussion A hard question but do you have any regrets about your behavior during your marriage?
"I wish I had spent more time with him, esp. at the end. He loved watching sports on TV, I can't stand sports. So I would be in the bedroom watching what he called "my crazies" on another TV (usually comedy and he could hear me…"
Jul 19
vintage56(barb) replied to Jill's discussion A hard question but do you have any regrets about your behavior during your marriage?
"Oh Roxana, please don't feel that way. I bet he loved you loads just the way you were."
Jul 19
vintage56(barb) replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"Just want to jump in about the camping stuff. We have an organization in this area that helps the homeless - you might check and see if there is something similar near you. They can always use tents, sleeping bags, sleeping pads, lanterns, etc."
Jul 19
vintage56(barb) replied to cushty1's discussion One year later and no one remembers
"I do that too. I don't know if it makes people uncomfortable, I don't care . He was a huge part of my life and so many memories are wrapped up in him."
Jul 8
vintage56(barb) replied to JustLynn's discussion Do you think you’ll get married again?
"Been 4.5 years for me, have not dated. I would not rule out dating but no one has asked, lol. Definitely no to a re-marriage and probably a no to living together. I don't see any point to either at my age."
Jul 5
vintage56(barb) replied to Sandollars's discussion Hi Everyone
"He had a lump on his shoulder/neck area and was feeling pretty run down in general. It was DLBCL, a non-hodgkins lymphoma. Supposed to have a 65% cure rate but I think his treatment got messed up."
Jul 5
vintage56(barb) commented on Ozzy turtle's blog post I need some advice
"You are doing what you need to do, for you. Don't let other people tell you where you need to be in the grief process. Not everyone is the same."
Apr 28
vintage56(barb) replied to cushty1's discussion One year later and no one remembers
"I woke up on the 4 year anniversary of Frank's death to his son sending me a funny link to a FB thing. No one remembered. I posted a song on FB, no one commented. ("All I can remember" by the Seekers). His daughter posts gushy stuff…"
Apr 27
vintage56(barb) replied to LandL (Linda)'s discussion Dreams
"it's been 4 years for me. I had a fleece jacket on the back of my chair and when I sat down it felt so much like leaning against another person, the tears started. Crazy."
Mar 30
Lisa_says replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion the little things
"My Doug had a southern twang, He always used to greet people with a firm handshake or hug and say" How ya doin" I adored his southern accent and would give anything to hear him say that again.  I haven't heard his voice in 3…"
Mar 7
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion MARCH Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"March 19 he would have 79."
Mar 5
vintage56(barb) replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion the little things
"Just thought of another one - when he got to the end of a roll of paper towels or TP, he would use it like a trumpet and go Doo-doo Too-doo! I caught myself doing it the other day."
Mar 5
Flossie Mae replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion the little things
"Hi there.  I saw this post 's title and it immediately made my think of my husband.  He had his own lingo for almost everything!  Bumpershoot = umbrella.  Alabama credit card = siphon. Pig whistle = car horn.  I could…"
Mar 3

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Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 8:16am on August 2, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Barb,  I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!!!  I hope you'll be able to go out (or stay in) and have the best day possible!  You are so special and today is your day!!!  

At 1:33pm on January 3, 2017, diacon said…

Thank you. I don't know what wanting to be my friend means - but thank you for wanting to be my friend!  I appreciate your understanding and acknowledgement of the differences among lonely, alone and lonesomeness.  When I was in a grief group shortly after my spouse died, I collected things that people (albeit well meaning) said and sent them on to  the facilitator.  She (thankfully) is using them.  They are similar to something I saw on this site.  In many ways I would like to move on and in many ways I really don't want to.  Anyone relate?  Thanks.  

At 12:44pm on January 28, 2016, Ted'sRed said…

Thank you for the comment and the friend request, Barb.  I couldn't agree more.  My profile picture was my husband's favorite one of us because it captures the essence of our love (well, at least mine for him - LOL - but it was very much mutual).

At 10:48pm on February 6, 2015, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, vintage56. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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