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vintage56(barb)
  • Female
  • Thetford Center, VT
  • United States
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vintage56(barb)'s Discussions

Plans for the holidays

Started this discussion. Last reply by vintage56(barb) on Tuesday. 6 Replies

As Frank and I did the "snowbird" thing for 30 years, we were never around family for the holidays. Now I am staying in the frozen north year round and am within driving distance of most of my…Continue

After almost 2 years, little things can still set me off

Started this discussion. Last reply by vintage56(barb) Oct 26, 2016. 9 Replies

looking through FB, someone had a post about their husband getting a knee operation. Just seeing a picture of an older man in a hospital gown with IV started the tears flowing. Does it ever end....Continue

How to feel old

Started this discussion. Last reply by Callie2 Jun 19, 2016. 1 Reply

#1 - Drive to local Social Security office to complete application for widows benefits (turning 60 soon).#2 - Drive past a bunch of young people doing THIS on the way.…Continue

trying to arrange a family memorial service.

Started this discussion. Last reply by widow85 Jul 29, 2015. 11 Replies

We were snowbirds, living in New England in the summer and down south in the winter. My only family is my sister and her husband, who live up here. Frank has 4 grown kids with GKs. Two live up here,…Continue

 

vintage56(barb)'s Page

Latest Activity

vintage56(barb) replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"Doug, I would contact your local Council on Aging, I bet they know someone who could use it."
Wednesday
vintage56(barb) replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion Plans for the holidays
"Well I just saw my sister this weekend. I was not expecting a Thanksgiving invite and didn't get one. Her last words were "See you in December" when she is planning to visit me. That's just the way she is, but it hurt a little…"
Tuesday
booktime (Susan) replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion Plans for the holidays
"Thanksgiving is all set. I'm going north to be with my two sisters, one of them has a husband, and there will be 3 of the younger generation about. This is the first Thanksgiving without my Mom - I'm feeling this more than my husband being…"
Monday
vintage56(barb) replied to Booklvr's discussion Husband died just 1 week ago
"Ditto to what Callie said. The first week or so I was not alone, had friends and family staying with me. You just have to get through it one day at a time, maybe one hour at a time. Take care of yourself. If you want to eat ice cream for breakfast,…"
Oct 14
vintage56(barb) commented on Don's blog post How to handle telemarketers
"I love it Don!!"
Oct 13
vintage56(barb) replied to Prissy's discussion in-laws of deceased husband in the group Born in the 50s
"Frank's sister kept in touch for a while, not so much now (almost 3 years later). His brother, I never saw again, was not invited to his 80th birthday party or their 60th wedding anniversary. After Frank and I were together for 35 years. It…"
Oct 12
Athena53 replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion Plans for the holidays
"My husband died last November 15.  I had multiple Thanksgiving invites, and spent it with a friend and her family.  DS, who lives 3 hours away, called the day before after I'd accepted an invitation.  It's the though that…"
Oct 9
Bonaroo replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion Plans for the holidays
"It's Thanksgiving weekend in Canada. We used to host a large gathering of family and friends. I didn't do that this year and didn't miss the shopping, cooking and cleaning! Went to a family dinner and brought the dog. She provided…"
Oct 9
barbee replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion Plans for the holidays
"With my children and grandchildren grown now, getting together for the holidays has become quite complicated. We're scattered around several states so there are travel arrangements and winter weather in the north to consider. Several people…"
Oct 9
Frank replied to vintage56(barb)'s discussion Plans for the holidays
"The first "holiday" I need to take note of is 28 Oct, (would have been) our 50th anniversary.  I'll sit down with our wedding album and go through it as if she were sitting beside me.  Then Thanksgiving Day ( the day I flew…"
Oct 8
vintage56(barb) posted a discussion

Plans for the holidays

As Frank and I did the "snowbird" thing for 30 years, we were never around family for the holidays. Now I am staying in the frozen north year round and am within driving distance of most of my family. Actually it is just my sister, who is not really into holidays at all, and Frank's grown kids who have kids of their own.I would be surprised if any of them invited me for a holiday get-together and I don't think I would want to go. I would like to see them, of course, but the holidays themselves…See More
Oct 8
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Are you "wise?" How have you changed since your loss?
"I am now MORE tolerant of the small stuff.  Get cut off on the road, have to wait in line at the store,  --bring it on. I took care of Frank for a year and a half of cancer and held his hand while he died. Gonna take a lot to get me upset…"
Oct 8
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion OCTOBER Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"I remember the thrill of getting one when I was a kid. I always thought "Fun" size were mis-labeled. I am now in a town center in an otherwise rural area, the kind of place where people drive their kids and then park while the kids walk to…"
Oct 8
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion OCTOBER Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"I am looking forward to Halloween - first year I live in a fairly populated area, and, it is a holiday that does not have sad connotations for me, like Christmas and Thanksgiving. I want to be THAT house that gives out full size candy bars. And have…"
Oct 7
vintage56(barb) replied to MissHIm11's discussion Cleaning out the pantry = major tears!
"at 2.5 years I still have a few things - his bathrobe, which is now my bathrobe, a sweatshirt he wore all the time, that I keep and wear around the house because it has a permanent stain so I can't donate it, and his handmade hat he wore…"
Oct 2
vintage56(barb) replied to MissHIm11's discussion Cleaning out the pantry = major tears!
"When Frank came home from the hospital, to be on hospice, I drove home first and picked up some things I thought he might like to eat - pudding cups, juice, etc. When he got home he never ate anything and passed away less than a day later. It was…"
Sep 28

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 1:33pm on January 3, 2017, diacon said…

Thank you. I don't know what wanting to be my friend means - but thank you for wanting to be my friend!  I appreciate your understanding and acknowledgement of the differences among lonely, alone and lonesomeness.  When I was in a grief group shortly after my spouse died, I collected things that people (albeit well meaning) said and sent them on to  the facilitator.  She (thankfully) is using them.  They are similar to something I saw on this site.  In many ways I would like to move on and in many ways I really don't want to.  Anyone relate?  Thanks.  

At 12:44pm on January 28, 2016, Ted'sRed said…

Thank you for the comment and the friend request, Barb.  I couldn't agree more.  My profile picture was my husband's favorite one of us because it captures the essence of our love (well, at least mine for him - LOL - but it was very much mutual).

At 10:48pm on February 6, 2015, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, vintage56. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.

 
 
 

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