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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  • Female
  • Thetford Center, VT
  • United States
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Vintage56(barb)'s Friends

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  • LauraR
  • diacon
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  • Mrs. M.
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vintage56(barb)'s Discussions

Plans for the holidays

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 25, 2017. 12 Replies

As Frank and I did the "snowbird" thing for 30 years, we were never around family for the holidays. Now I am staying in the frozen north year round and am within driving distance of most of my…Continue

After almost 2 years, little things can still set me off

Started this discussion. Last reply by vintage56(barb) Oct 26, 2016. 9 Replies

looking through FB, someone had a post about their husband getting a knee operation. Just seeing a picture of an older man in a hospital gown with IV started the tears flowing. Does it ever end....Continue

How to feel old

Started this discussion. Last reply by Callie2 Jun 19, 2016. 1 Reply

#1 - Drive to local Social Security office to complete application for widows benefits (turning 60 soon).#2 - Drive past a bunch of young people doing THIS on the way.…Continue

trying to arrange a family memorial service.

Started this discussion. Last reply by widow85 Jul 29, 2015. 11 Replies

We were snowbirds, living in New England in the summer and down south in the winter. My only family is my sister and her husband, who live up here. Frank has 4 grown kids with GKs. Two live up here,…Continue


vintage56(barb)'s Page

Latest Activity

vintage56(barb) replied to Shoosie2's discussion a very uplifting article
"that was good, thank you."
Apr 12
vintage56(barb) replied to Morgana (Janet)'s discussion Who would notice?
"I gave all my contact info to the place I volunteer M-W-F and told them if you can't reach me, send the police to do a welfare check. I think about if I fell and hit my head. Or anything else that might incapacitate me.  Not quite ready…"
Apr 12
vintage56(barb) replied to Mel's discussion What is the most comforting thing someone has said to you since your loss?
"A fellow widow (twice over) told me "Now you will find YOU." She was right, I had been part of a couple for so long it was part of my identity. And my DH was very uch the dominant personality in the relationship. Now I am doing what I want…"
Apr 10
vintage56(barb) replied to Dez's discussion Emotional Days?
"It has been over 3 years for me and while I think I am doing well, I still find tears spring to my eyes at the least little thing."
Apr 2
vintage56(barb) commented on only1sue's blog post Lonely in a crowd
"Hi Sue, I am also alone today, as I was on Christmas and Thanksgiving. I went for a walk down my rural road, two houses had so many cars parked out front, big family dinners I'm sure. Just drives home the loneliness. I don't mind people…"
Apr 1
vintage56(barb) commented on Tess's blog post Our Home
Mar 30
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Poems, songs and sayings...
"it's a beautiful poem."
Mar 26
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Is there anything you know NOW that you wish you'd have known pre loss?
"no, he didn't identify them."
Mar 17
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Is there anything you know NOW that you wish you'd have known pre loss?
"When he was in the hospital the last time, he kept seeing people standing at the foot of his bed. I wish I had asked him more about them. I dismissed it as optical illusions or delusions."
Mar 14
vintage56(barb) replied to kenslove 's discussion No music for us
"There was a thread about this a while back I got a lot of good ideas for songs for the memorial…"
Mar 4
vintage56(barb) replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion MARCH Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"March 19 was Frank's birthday. He would have been 78."
Mar 2
vintage56(barb) replied to kenslove 's discussion No music for us
"I love this one - she wrote it for her late husband Ron."
Mar 2
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"We're glad to have you here. I haven't dated so I can't answer your question."
Feb 27
vintage56(barb) replied to InsideLove's discussion request for prayers and positive energy for ANC final services
"such beautiful photos!! I understand there are military widows who will be there for you at ANC if you have to go alone. Peace."
Feb 26
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion When did you remove your wedding rings?
"so happy for you!!"
Feb 17
vintage56(barb) replied to InsideLove's discussion How was your valentine's day like no other? Here's mine.
"I started the day by re-reading some of the little home made cards and poems we used to send to each other, as I do on most holidays. For the first time in 3 years, it did not set me into a crying jag (I had planned it pre-shower, thinking it…"
Feb 15

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 1:33pm on January 3, 2017, diacon said…

Thank you. I don't know what wanting to be my friend means - but thank you for wanting to be my friend!  I appreciate your understanding and acknowledgement of the differences among lonely, alone and lonesomeness.  When I was in a grief group shortly after my spouse died, I collected things that people (albeit well meaning) said and sent them on to  the facilitator.  She (thankfully) is using them.  They are similar to something I saw on this site.  In many ways I would like to move on and in many ways I really don't want to.  Anyone relate?  Thanks.  

At 12:44pm on January 28, 2016, Ted'sRed said…

Thank you for the comment and the friend request, Barb.  I couldn't agree more.  My profile picture was my husband's favorite one of us because it captures the essence of our love (well, at least mine for him - LOL - but it was very much mutual).

At 10:48pm on February 6, 2015, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, vintage56. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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