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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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  • Thetford Center, VT
  • United States
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Vintage56(barb)'s Friends

  • LauraR
  • thomas4you
  • diacon
  • Nieta
  • Ted'sRed
  • Don
  • DieselHD1970 (Brian)
  • KellyC
  • Donutmom4x
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vintage56(barb)'s Discussions

After almost 2 years, little things can still set me off

Started this discussion. Last reply by vintage56(barb) Oct 26, 2016. 9 Replies

looking through FB, someone had a post about their husband getting a knee operation. Just seeing a picture of an older man in a hospital gown with IV started the tears flowing. Does it ever end....Continue

How to feel old

Started this discussion. Last reply by Callie2 Jun 19, 2016. 1 Reply

#1 - Drive to local Social Security office to complete application for widows benefits (turning 60 soon).#2 - Drive past a bunch of young people doing THIS on the way.…Continue

trying to arrange a family memorial service.

Started this discussion. Last reply by widow85 Jul 29, 2015. 11 Replies

We were snowbirds, living in New England in the summer and down south in the winter. My only family is my sister and her husband, who live up here. Frank has 4 grown kids with GKs. Two live up here,…Continue

not ready yet.

Started this discussion. Last reply by Crispygirl Feb 18, 2015. 6 Replies

I am in a snowbird community for the winter, we have been coming for almost 20 years and I have a lot of friends (acquaintances mostly) here. There are quite a few widows as well.I met one the other…Continue


vintage56(barb)'s Page

Latest Activity

vintage56(barb) replied to desare's discussion i just dont know what to do
"I had a similar situation, Frank and I were everything to each other. So much love. After he died, I decided to try and take all the love I couldn't give him anymore, and send it out into the world. The world needs a lot of love. I sponsor…"
Jun 11
vintage56(barb) replied to Susan's discussion Recipes For One
"I have never had luck freezing cooked pasta, it gets mushy when thawed."
Jun 9
vintage56(barb) replied to Susan's discussion Recipes For One
"When I saw a medium 5 months after Frank passed, one of the things he said was, "You're not cooking and baking any more, Frank misses that and wants you to continue." It was true, so I did go back to cooking and baking. And I talk to…"
Jun 6
vintage56(barb) replied to Suz's discussion Do you ever get annoyed at the price of funerals?
"Frank had said he wanted cremation (we both did, for ourselves) and hated funerals. It cost around $1000, the funeral "home" was not really a traditional one, they did not hold services there. They just operated from churches, I guess. But…"
Jun 6
vintage56(barb) replied to desare's discussion what to say to people who tell you how to handle things.IM STUCK.
"I would tell them, Thank you for your concern, but I need to do things my own way. Lather, rinse, repeat. But be aware if you are isolating yourself too much. Maybe have a friend or relative over to your house to visit you? That way you can see…"
Jun 6
vintage56(barb) replied to Nieta's discussion Have you experienced any "God Winks" (i.e., messages) from your late spouse?
"I'm sure many of you know about "pennies from heaven" - finding pennies as signs from your loved one who is gone. A fellow widow told me about them shortly after Frank died, and sure enough I started finding them. Especially when I…"
May 16
vintage56(barb) updated their profile
May 9
vintage56(barb) replied to Susan's discussion I Had Another " First " Today.
"I spent about 1.5 years with Frank, taking care of him when he was sick, staying in the hospital with him when he was being treated. He was 16 years older than me. Many times I would think, "I will have to go through this someday, maybe --…"
May 8
vintage56(barb) replied to Jill's discussion What's scaring you these days?
"(((hugs))) photonut, I can relate. Frank had 4 kids (not mine) who ran the gamut from not talking to him to benign neglect. Never a phone call, invite, or card on Father's Day.  I don't know how people like that can live with…"
May 2
vintage56(barb) replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Need some advice please?
"Aw Frank, now you have made me cry.... I like your idea though."
Mar 31
vintage56(barb) replied to Imogen's discussion Stupid People
"Darn, if it wasn't for that negative attitude of yours, everything would be JUST FINE!!!!!"
Mar 31
vintage56(barb) replied to Donutmom4x's discussion Please tell me it's not just me...
"Hi - I lost my Frank too, over 2 years ago. His sister has been great, we are closer than ever. His brother acted like I no longer exist. His kids (not mine) are great too for the most part. On my side I just have one sister and she is very…"
Mar 16
vintage56(barb) replied to Susan's discussion Trying to Find Myself and Be Me Again.
"I loved Frank so much, one of my problems was what to do with all that love (no kids). I decided to send it out into the world and have been volunteering. It helps."
Mar 10
vintage56(barb) replied to kenslove 's discussion My first anniversary- alone
"more (((hugs)))). It really sucks."
Mar 10
vintage56(barb) replied to lnickles34 (LaShunda)'s discussion Dreams
"I had a great one. IRL I sometimes wake up and feel as if someone is behind me in bed. Started happening when Frank was still alive, I would look over and he wasn't there. Or maybe I just dream the whole thing. Anyway, I dreamt that this…"
Mar 10
vintage56(barb) replied to lnickles34 (LaShunda)'s discussion Dreams
"I had one last night, we were in a skyscraper, somewhere in the middle, there were 2 elevators. I got on one and it went up and I realized Frank wasn't with me. I didn't know if he had got on the other one, what floor he had gone too, if…"
Mar 5

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 1:33pm on January 3, 2017, diacon said…

Thank you. I don't know what wanting to be my friend means - but thank you for wanting to be my friend!  I appreciate your understanding and acknowledgement of the differences among lonely, alone and lonesomeness.  When I was in a grief group shortly after my spouse died, I collected things that people (albeit well meaning) said and sent them on to  the facilitator.  She (thankfully) is using them.  They are similar to something I saw on this site.  In many ways I would like to move on and in many ways I really don't want to.  Anyone relate?  Thanks.  

At 12:44pm on January 28, 2016, Ted'sRed said…

Thank you for the comment and the friend request, Barb.  I couldn't agree more.  My profile picture was my husband's favorite one of us because it captures the essence of our love (well, at least mine for him - LOL - but it was very much mutual).

At 10:48pm on February 6, 2015, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, vintage56. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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